40 yo DH wants to dress like Harry Styles.

[NamechangeFML]

Dh has always been a "flamboyant " dresser.
hes toned it down over the years: wearing smarter , designer items - but still with "edge" and still has a "look".
we are attending a family wedding( fairly conservative) in the Summer ( my side) and he wants to wear :
a cream silk pussybow paisley shirt
with
pastel lilac flares.

i want him to dress smartly and appropriately ( maybe a cool tie or shirt pattern)

he says: if it was him telling me what to wear - itd be outrageous and is really sulking!

i say : hes free to dress how he likes 364 days of the year , and at his own family's get togethers, and pull focus from the bride ( has actually happened) but can he not reign it in for this?

whos being unreasonable?

*his whole Dream Outfit is also costing more than mine by a long shot!

Depends. If he looks ridiculous, YABU to be embarrassed of him, because he's always had an interesting fashion sense. You signed up for this!

If, however, he looks like he's going to upstage the bride, that's different. YANBU to tell him to reign it in her for her sake, but only if his outfit would genuinely pull the focus. It's hard to comment either way without seeing his outfit, but I'm sure you know which statement is really correct.

^The world is so boring^

After my teens/early twenties of hanging out with stoners and goths, I find normality refreshing.

It's up to him what he wears, he's an adult. You can suggest he tone it down, but in the end it is his choice. Actually, I think he sounds fun. I really don't get all this upstaging the bride rubbish either - people on MN seem obsessed with it.

Better Austin Powers than an estate agent.

Show him the pic of Dick Emery in the lilac trousers should put him off. ( this will be the only time I'd advocate for a "Dick pic")

As hideous as that outfit sounds, he has a point re how we would be acting if it was the other way around 😅

Menswear is very boring, especially anything 'smart'. The reason is the dominance of the cheap suit (properly made ones are a different thing entirely).

Happily, this is changing now. The OP should be glad her DH is ahead of the game.

need photos op

Can someone find a pic of dick emery in the trousers? I can't find it.

In your position, I might not tell him he shouldn't wear it.

But I would probably tell him that if he does choose that outfit, I wouldn't be taking him with me to the wedding.

In all honesty, I think my fanny would clamp shut on a permanent basis. I'm not sure if I'd ever be able to look directly at him again, without seeing that outfit.

Like, I'm trying to picture the hottest men I can think of, in that outfit (especially the bow) and it's a total turn off.

Is your husband good looking enough that no one will notice the outfit?

He will look a right pillock but that's up to him

You married him so you accept him the way hr is

You can't tell him what to wear and there are no rules about wedding attire. Anything goes
These days

If OP was planning to wear something 'out there' to a family wedding of her DH's there'd be a similar split. There are different expectations of dress so a flouncy shirt and flares wouldn't cut it. But say Bjork's swan dress or something. Something LOOK AT ME without actually being a white dress or indecent. Something that clearly craved attention.

Yeah, I'd expect DH to say something if I was going to look a bit of a pillock.

I know there are different expectations of male and female clothing for weddings and maybe it is sad for men. Clothing double standards hurt women more though so let's not cry too much.

I would not be impressed if my dh said what I could and couldn't wear. He is a grown you don't have to say anything if the other guests comment so be it. Please send a photo when he has got said outfit

Good for him, Harry styles wears some amazing clothes! I have spent years encouraging my DH to have the confidence to dress how he wants. I have a very flamboyant uncle who wore a very out there outfit to our wedding and everyone loved it.

Like other PPs have said imagine if this was reversed, we would have posts claiming the OPs husband was controling and she should LTB.

Ooooh! You are awful!

( some of us have long memories)

Omg I love those! That second photo though 😂

But, weren't you wearing lilac to the wearing? Matchy clothes on couples is very passé…. 😉

If I was planning on wearing something to a wedding on his side of the family that would absolutely draw attention away from the couple, I’d expect my husband to tell me it wasn’t appropriate or ask what I was playing at. Maybe a nice floor length white lacy frock. Or lime green suit with massive shout pads and pink spots. Dead right I’d think he’d say “you can’t wear that!”

Being free to wear what you want regardless of whether you’re a man or a woman doesn’t mean being free to act like a bit of self-centred arse.

Oo tell me more. Who was it?

come on, let the man dress how he likes

@BirdsBirdsBird I had those exact iridescent trousers circa 1999 😂😂

See I think that first picture that @DuchessofAnkh22 posted is ok!!!

It depends entirely on the person though.

If my DH (who lives in next jeans and superdry t-shirts) rocked up at a wedding like that everyone would go WTF?

But we also have friends who I could totally see in that outfit and not one person would bat an eyelid.

I think the outfit sounds great. Yes you are being unreasonable for telling him what to wear.

So tricky! I agree about not telling someone what to wear. However, there are certain rules about weddings and guests not being centre of attention - i know not everyone cares about these rules but I adhere to them even if I don't care, because it's one day that isn't about me. I also always ask my husband what he thinks of my outfits for weddings etc, because I value his opinion.

Can you have a chat with him and say that you absolutely don't want to control him, but that you do have concerns about the attention of your family on the day. Therefore, could he maybe come up with 2/3 outfit choices and try to decide together? It's one day and it isn't about him. Maybe you can agree to planning a nice weekend away so that he can dress up however he pleases another time?

@WeddingShedding is sounds good? To wear to a conservative church wedding of half unknowns?
hes not jared leto off to the met gala...?

@Whatsmyname100 I agree. So embarrassing.