40 yo DH wants to dress like Harry Styles.

[NamechangeFML]

Dh has always been a "flamboyant " dresser.
hes toned it down over the years: wearing smarter , designer items - but still with "edge" and still has a "look".
we are attending a family wedding( fairly conservative) in the Summer ( my side) and he wants to wear :
a cream silk pussybow paisley shirt
with
pastel lilac flares.

i want him to dress smartly and appropriately ( maybe a cool tie or shirt pattern)

he says: if it was him telling me what to wear - itd be outrageous and is really sulking!

i say : hes free to dress how he likes 364 days of the year , and at his own family's get togethers, and pull focus from the bride ( has actually happened) but can he not reign it in for this?

whos being unreasonable?

*his whole Dream Outfit is also costing more than mine by a long shot!

Tell him the wedding is about the bride and groom and not about him.

A 40 year old man wants to look like Harry Styles? Then he should wear a lilac skirt, not flares 😄

He’s an adult. He wears what he likes, as do you. End of…

@WoodenClock goodness youve taken that quite personally?
i am well aware that flares are fashionable with youth again, thanks. But as ive said : DH is 40.
i see the students dressed in thier Y2K ugly outfits- i wore them the first time around? Doesnt mean i should be wearing it now....

I like those, but these are even more spectacular - love an iridescent trouser!
www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-design-slim-suit-trousers-in-iridescent-purple/prd/201193104

@BirdsBirdsBird not as spectacular as that models arse!!

Are you married to my ex boyfriend? He used to dress like the man from del monte to walk the dogs 🤣

I'm not sure this is an issue apart from the fact he is straying from the (unwritten???) dress code.

At a formal wedding I would "expect" men to wear a suit - not a shirt and trousers (that comes into smart casual for me).

So while neither picture is really acceptable at a very conservative (small c) wedding, the suit is the acceptable choice. Not the trousers and blouse.

He can choose to wear what he likes, you can choose to pretend you have no idea who he is...

@PotatoFamily hahahhaaa DH is very similar. Lockdown neary killed him with comfy casual wear. He kept buying clothes online until i said " look, where are you going out? Everywhere is shut?" ( we were in a part which had a crazy long longdown )

One guy wore something odd to my wedding and he is forever referred to as dick head in the weird suit. It didn't pull focus but was just a bit comical

@Buttons294749
photos of THAT please! Hahhahha

I think yabu. He is who he is, let him wear what he feels good in.

My own dh had a very, um, distinctive style of dressing. Earned him the lifelong enmity of my very conservative and strait laced df - but it’s who he was!

Which aspect are you most worried about?

That he doesn't have what it takes to carry this off with style, is deluded about that, and will embarrass himself? More boring conventionally minded people will see it as inappropriate and wrong and bad mannered. And in a protective way, you don't want people thinking badly of him or laughing at him?

That he can carry it off and will look fab, but other people will disapprove because it's unconventional, attention seeking, and that they will disapprove of you too for "letting him"?

That he will be seen to be upstaging the happy couple? And again that him doing that makes you look bad, as well as him?

Even if others find it hilarious or rude or crazy or bad taste or inappropriate or whatever and are rude enough themselves to actually voice those opinions surely that needs to be for him to mind about or not... they'll be judging or admiring him, not you.

If my husband wanted to wear lilac flares and a pussycat bow to a wedding I'd be absolutely astounded (mind you, he's 64 very handsome in a masculine way, not a metrosexual at all 😁) and I'd be weak with laughter, which might give him pause for thought, but I wouldn't stop him. Because it's not my job to monitor what decisions he takes. It's not my job to make sure he is seen in a good light, nor is it my job to ensure he doesn't offend the bridal party, those things are up to him.

I agree with the pp, you're taking things a bit seriously there. Are you the OP's husband?

@CrashBandicootOnSanityBeach hahaha that DID cross my mind too!

I would be embarrassed if a partner of mine was like that too OP.

I was evenn cringing when a bloke wore a shirt with small sprigs of flowers on, on a first date.

He obviously had dressed up and thought he looked really smart, but it just isn't what I go for in a man.

Whe it comes to Harry Styles, at least your DH hasn't gone for the flouncy dresses.

@NamechangeFML I can’t believe there are two “the man from del monte’s” out there! 🤣 It’s too much. My ex would only dress like this when it was thoroughly inappropriate. Brunch on the terrace of a fancy hotel in the summer? Nope. Weird flamboyant beige three piece wouldn’t come out. Food shopping in Icelands?… absolutely he’s wearing his crushed velvet suit. 🙈

I have the opposite problems with my now DH, he’s a scruffy bugger.

You draw the line at the flares and not the pussy bow?
The bow would do me in.
Plus, all the other guests will be staring at him instead of the bride — the #1 wedding no-no.
I think I’d have to travel to the wedding separately and once there pretend I didn’t know him. And that’s just sad when it’s your husband.

I definitely think he should wear whatever he likes, unless it's a long white gown and veil.

The world is so boring!

Suddenly my extremely scruffy DH is not looking so bad.

you';ll love me im wearing jeans to my sisters wedding

although theres only 6 of us and in a registry office and she doesnt really care

Tell him if he's wearing that then you're wearing this.
static.wikia.nocookie.net/austinpowers/images/1/1a/Vanessa_Powers.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20191223085553

My DH has zero fashion sense and the most 'out there' he will go is Next. I would love it if he dressed like Harry Styles! I get what you mean about a wedding though, where the focus should be on the couple. Maybe just get him to tone it down slightly, but don't piss on his fire completely, I love a bit of fun with clothes!

The world is so boring!

Isn't it just!