40 yo DH wants to dress like Harry Styles.

[NamechangeFML]

Dh has always been a "flamboyant " dresser.
hes toned it down over the years: wearing smarter , designer items - but still with "edge" and still has a "look".
we are attending a family wedding( fairly conservative) in the Summer ( my side) and he wants to wear :
a cream silk pussybow paisley shirt
with
pastel lilac flares.

i want him to dress smartly and appropriately ( maybe a cool tie or shirt pattern)

he says: if it was him telling me what to wear - itd be outrageous and is really sulking!

i say : hes free to dress how he likes 364 days of the year , and at his own family's get togethers, and pull focus from the bride ( has actually happened) but can he not reign it in for this?

whos being unreasonable?

*his whole Dream Outfit is also costing more than mine by a long shot!

To be honest I think I would want to be invisible next to him 😬 but he sounds fun 😁

@cigarettesNalcohol no i dont know the bride or her family and im worried theyll be uspet cos theyll be gawping at him not her!

I guess if he’s used to dressing flamboyantly he’ll carry it off really well.

I’m with a pp though, a wedding should be about the bride and groom, not a “look at me everyone” guest.

Do you have any none identifying pics of past outfits OP, to give us an idea of how well he carries off his flamboyant tastes?

I’m all for people wearing what they like, but if it was my partner, it would give me the ick. 😬 You married a ‘flamboyant dresser’ though so I’m not sure what to say. It’s not unreasonable to ask him to wear something else but you can’t make him.

I doubt he’ll upstage the bride from your description of the clothing but will probably raise a few eyebrows. I’d just think he’s an attention seeker. 😅

Off your google Dick Emery.....

He's trying to be a dick then by going to a wedding where you don't even know the couple well enough, yet trying to create attention on himself.

Sorry @NamechangeFML but this has made me laugh, especially the Dick Emery pics 🤣

I dunno, I think he should just go for it, if he’d wants to, but dd does accuse me of wearing things that are “too extravagant” 🤣

I'm amazed at the vote result, I think yabu.

He will look ridiculous. You will be embarrassed. But telling him what he should or shouldn't wear is controlling and also mean. I would be very upset if my dh said something I chose to wear was embarrassing.

Also I usually agree with all of mrspratchett's posts but - every wedding I've been to, people wear all kinds of fancy clothes (men and women) and nobody ever notices because they're focusing on the wedding party. He's not going to look like bride, groom or bridesmaid (not a white dress etc) so he's not upstaging anyone.

The only guest at my wedding who I felt remotely upstaged by (in a really delightful way) was my 1yo cousin-in-law who was wearing a tiny little tuxedo and strutting his stuff. If there was a grown man in Harry styles flares, I would have spent all of ten seconds thinking "whew that's a bold choice" and instantly forgotten about it

Mind you, even Harry Styles doesn’t dress like Harry Styles when he goes to a wedding. The well known photo of him attending a wedding with Olivia Wilde - he’s in a black suit and a white shirt. Very appropriate wedding guest attire !

There are supposed to be two people maximum who get all the attention for what they wear and your DH isn't one of them.

This is the key point. I don’t think there would be outcry if a DH told his DW “that’s not the best outfit for a wedding” if she was planning to wear something obviously unsuitable for a wedding! There was a recent thread where one lady wanted to wear a very casual dress and was told it was suitable for the beach, but not a formal occasion. This is similar: she’s not being controlling, she’s just asking him to be respectful of the fact that it’s someone else’s special day and therefore not an appointment time to be showing off his sartorial idiosyncrasies.

Jason King, who inspired Austin Powers. Massive sex symbol of the 1970's.

YANBU. Fine, he can dress how he wants normally, but this is a family wedding and people are going to laugh at him. I mean FFS imagine if a middle aged woman wanted to dress like Billie Eilish? She would look ridiculous. And especially if it's a bloody wedding! And I'm sorry @NamechangeFML but a middle aged man in his 40s dressing like Harry Styles just sounds a bit laughable.

I'd be a bit embarrassed if this were my husband. I guess he was 'like that' when you met him though yes? So I guess most of the time you have to tolerate him. I normally give people (who are like you describe your husband to be.) a wide berth, as I find them hard work - and rather attention-seeking. So yeah, he needs telling, and I would say the same if the genders were reversed.

I also want to see some photos of past outfit choices…C’mon OP! You can blur out his face I think…

Photos please

Ooh you are awful 😆

I concur. Photos please @NamechangeFML Just blur out his face.

The 70s were wild.

His outfit sounds truly horrible, but you chose him and I hate being told how to dress.

There is so much hetronormative bullshit on this post. Like, so his outfit is more expensive than yours? Well there's only 2 of you so someone's will cost more. Why the hell shouldn't it be his? It's not like he wants to wear old jeans and a hoodie! He'll look smart and like he'd made an effort. Hurray!

And the PP who asked if he was "a friend of Dorothy". Wtf. What do his trousers have to do with his sexual preferences? Grim.

You don't have to like his style but let him bloody get ok with it. Christ.

@Afrodizzyak im not showing him that as it's probably his new inspiration hahha

LOL just showed these pics to my husband "how'd you feel if a man had worn these to our wedding"

His response "yeah that's awful [thinks a second] but I'd be flattered he'd made an effort for our wedding"

😂i agree with him, op. Let your dh wear it! You'll laugh about it years from now

@HemanOrSheRa aww - love that picture!

when a flamboyant outfit wasn’t really appropriate to an occasion, I would default to an interesting accessory, whether a bag, piece of jewellery or something small, but hinting at a less than conventional character! Maybe your other half could opt for ‘less is more’ for this occasion?

It’s his body. It’s his choice. End of conversation. You’ve expressed your opinion that you don’t like it. That’s all you have any right to do. He’s right that if he was telling you what to wear then it would be awful and this is no different.

I absolutely cannot post pics of him as it would be too much of an outing! Hhahaaa
but previous weddings, he has been smart and a little edgy ( the more recent ones) so i don't understand the full Peacock mode he is in?