40 yo DH wants to dress like Harry Styles.

[NamechangeFML]

Dh has always been a "flamboyant " dresser.
hes toned it down over the years: wearing smarter , designer items - but still with "edge" and still has a "look".
we are attending a family wedding( fairly conservative) in the Summer ( my side) and he wants to wear :
a cream silk pussybow paisley shirt
with
pastel lilac flares.

i want him to dress smartly and appropriately ( maybe a cool tie or shirt pattern)

he says: if it was him telling me what to wear - itd be outrageous and is really sulking!

i say : hes free to dress how he likes 364 days of the year , and at his own family's get togethers, and pull focus from the bride ( has actually happened) but can he not reign it in for this?

whos being unreasonable?

*his whole Dream Outfit is also costing more than mine by a long shot!

Yes. They sound like designer clothing. They won’t be filthy or jeans. Just because they aren’t black suit trousers they can still be smart.

He is BU, etiquette dictates that guests do not try and outshine or take attention away from the bride and groom.

Flares aren't smart, even if they were hand sewn by Alexander McQueen.

OMG loving this thread. DH has regressed to wearing 15-yr-old holey grey polo shirts in the pandemic, so have to salute your DH's commitment to lilac flares.

I'd say ok except it's a wedding. It's the couple's big day, not his. Guests should fade into the background, not be the centre of attention. He comes across as very attention seeking and 'me, me, me' if he can't see that!

Hmm. I think it's the fact he doesn't normally dress this way, that makes it less ok and more ok to ask why now suddenly for this wedding.

I agree that 99% of the time partners should not dictate what the other one wears. But if it’s massively inappropriate for that occasion especially when the occasion is more partner A’s occasion than partner B then i would expect partner B to respect A’s wishes.

if I was going to wear a low cut, short, dress with my boobs half hanging out to dh’s mums funeral he’d probably tell me to change. If I was going to a club I wouldn’t expect him to have an opinion.

Like this?

Picturing Lawrence Llwellen
Bowen right now

I would say YABU, but in this case YANBU because it’s not appropriate for a wedding - you’re a dick if you try and steal the limelight clothes-wise

Couldn’t you lure him into something like this with the shirt - I think it would look great

www.asos.com/asos-design/asos-design-flare-suit-trousers-in-aubergine/prd/201039940?affid=25888&_Cj0KCQjwvLOTBhCJARIsACVldV0yMTYBsE9eIBxjA1LFVPpa-Ws2X69pD29ziSZELOoQ7tl8QUtfSyEaAk4JEALw_wcB&channelref=product+search&ppcadref=12029787983%7C117574734673%7Cpla-361282089597&gbraid=0AAAAADqFjOCw0Ah0mC1J0j04PFel4vAOV&gbraid=0AAAAADqFjOCw0Ah0mC1J0j04PFel4vAOV&gclid=Cj0KCQjwvLOTBhCJARIsACVldV0yMTYBsE9eIBxjA1LFVPpa-Ws2X69pD29ziSZELOoQ7tl8QUtfSyEaAk4JEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

Remind him that its a wedding and the centre of attention should be the bride and groom, not a grown man that wants to be the centre of attention.

@RJnomore1 nooooo that would be even more crazy- you saboteur! Hahahaha

DH is fairly flamboyant too and always wears things with an edge.
He would probably look at something like this and wish he could wear it, but would opt for something more subtle as it's not his day.

I came on here all ready to say that people should be allowed to wear what they feel happy and comfortable in, but bloody hell.

However, it's a wedding and surely it requires a certain standard of smartness.

Are you sure he's not trying to wind you up?

He's going to look ridiculous, not because he's a 40 year old man, which in my opinion is still young enough to be edgy, but because it's a ridiculous outfit for a man of any age to wear to anything other than a 70s disco night.

He'll end up being a figure of fun. Everyone will be pointing and laughing at him behind their hands.

If he insists on wear such an abomination, in your shoes, I'd be inclined to pretend I wasn't with him.

I completely agree.

I think men who dress 'dashingly' are cool, but as you say, there are exceptions, weddings/funerals being two.

Do you think he might be gay? Sorry if Im not allowed to say this.

Does he look like this?

I went out with a guy who was a glam rocker in the 70s. Makeup, glitter, platforms, sparkly clothes, the lot. He was fairly flamboyant offstage as well, white suits, white sheepskin coats, etc certainly not 'mainstream' clothes.
But for his siblings' weddings, he wore a dark suit, shirt and tie.
Wear what you like, but as PP have said, at a wedding two people should be getting the attention. And you husband's not one of them. By all means dress outside the box a bit. But lilac flares and a paisley pussy bow shirt. For someone else's wedding?
No. Just no.

I won’t be seen dead in flares of any shape or form. At a wedding no chance it’s the bride and groom’s day lilac ones ffs wedding no no no no.

I love Harry Styles, (seeing him twice in June), but I really think you need to be him to carry off his look!

Straight men wear flamboyant kit, too. 🙄

I would love my DH to be interested in clothes - I would love a flamboyant DH to be fair!

YANBU - particularly as it's a wedding and that it's your side of the family. There will only be 2 maybe 3 people who will know about his quirky dress sense, everyone else will probably think he's a knob.

Look it's all about the bride and groom not your DH. I think you are being very fair saying he can dress how it likes for the rest of the year but to tow the line on this day. Get him to wear one of his edgy suits, people will think he is cool

He's right, you don't get to tell him what to wear any more than he does you and if your family have a problem with an entirely suitable, if unusual, outfit that's their problem.

As for "drawing the line at flares" you're just showing you're clueless there, I'm surprised he's prepared to be seen with someone with such little fashion knowledge