Are you or do you know a traditional wife?

[Juniper68]

Just watching Stacey Dooley staying at the trad wife's home. I didn't realise there were so many of them?
I really liked the wife and dcs. The dh not so much. Choosing the wife's clothes. Making dcs wear something heavy on their back if they've been naughty 😮
I'm not against being a sahm. But him calling all the shots is so controlling.

@Pugfostermum very curious about your post.
have you ever worked?
if you don’t have kids, what do you do all day?
how will you support yourself if your DH leaves?
does he have good life insurance or income protection if he dies or becomes incapacitated?

The older I get the more I appreciate my work and career. I couldn't be a SAHP, it just doesn't suit me (took a year off with each DC and was glad to go back to work both times).

All of my friends work, I don't know any housewives or even any SAHPs. I can't see myself ever being comfortable relying on DH (or anyone else) financially. I have my own bank account, own pension, own car etc. The house is our only shared asset. If I wanted to I could walk out tomorrow with the DC and be fine financially (I don't want to, but I like knowing I could!)

I do agree that that business about them walk with heavy backpacks on Saturday mornings if they have been naughty is very peculiar indeed. I've never heard of such a thing. Also, I feel sorry for the kids being home schooled if they're not allowed to mix with other children (if that is the case)?

But where did he say he chose her clothes? Did I miss something?

I don't think many women realise how vulnerable and dependent you become when you stop working. Not just in the short term either.

I don't think many women realise how vulnerable they are when giving up work.

Well it's a bit late to worry about that now as I haven't worked since I was 30 and I'm now 47.

Well - I’m married, don’t work, I say housekeeper (easier to find job description online) and children fall to me. So am I trad wife?
No - I don’t go to church, have my own points of view, gladly tell h if he is being stupid and do all the banking so I’m more financially aware than h. As for fashion advice - we are complete opposites no thanks. I am most definitely a feminist.

I will say though that the majority of idiots on mn don’t seem to believe that and think anyone who stays at home is just stupid and subservient. (yawn)

I was born in 1944. Both parents worked and I was encouraged to study. I always vowed that I would never be dependent on any man. I always worked (teacher) and saved. We shared bank accounts etc. when dc were small I worked part time and had a child minder. The ‘traditional’ ‘domestic discipline’ type marriage sounds abusive to me.

@Perfect28 🤣only if you are daft which is not all.

Even the term is offensive, suggesting that traditionally women were submissive to men.

It's misogynist bullshit & a deliberate attempt to conceal the reality of what it is: Subjugated wife of woefully inadequate man.

Oh, believe me, I do.

But I was only doing minimum wage work. The sort of job that I could walk into again tomorrow if I wanted to because not many people want to d o it.

If i’d had a career or any qualifications, I wouldn’t have given it up.

If my husband walked out tomorrow, I could go back to the min wage job while he had the dc.

I don’t know anyone like that no. All the SAHMs I know very much run the house and do all the life admin and decision making

Trad wife is nothing like sahm - yes there's a crossover but most of us who don't work full time are so not like the woman in the documentary. My ex couldn't even tell you who our mortgage provider was or how to get electricity (I had to tell him how it worked after we split!)

Which streaming service would I be able to find this on does anyone know?

@Thecanaryislands yes I worked for 15 years and never really enjoyed it.
some people find work fulfilling, but if you don’t and you don’t need to work, why not do things you enjoy?
I’m very happy and enjoy every day now.
my DH has excellent life insurance, I’m confident he won’t leave and I’m very busy and fulfilled.
I foster dogs, look after my own dog, do pilates, yoga, wild swimming, volunteer with greyhounds, meet friends for coffee, walks, help elderly parents when needed……. We are both very happy and it works well for us.

When she got ready for the baby's service. He had to allow the dress she wore.

@DreamingofItaly2023 it's UKTV

@Juniper68 - I thought it was more she asked his opinion on whether she should go for the 'vintage' look with the underskirt or not - so he gave it. He did say he has bought her that particular dress (I thought it was a bit dowdy, tbh), but that doesn't mean he buys all her clothes? Has your husband never bought you a dress? I think most women know what their husband likes them to wear - whether he explicitly tells you or not. A lot of that programme was staged to make a drama out of not a lot - that's the impression I got.

The idea of my husband not seeing me as a human being of equal value to him, and me willingly agreeing with him, is insanity to me.

Stacey asked if he chooses what she wears she said yes. He has final say. It was awful. She was stunning though, luckily.

It was a rock on the dcs back 😳

It was a very extreme version of traditional wife and looked to me more like a cohesive relationship.

DH makes the big decisions. I make the little decisions. I decide which are the big decisions and which are the little decisions.

I felt like one for many years whilst a SAHM, chores were 90% me, and childcare. Now I work full time so the % has changed (slightly!)

😂

What? Who?