To be flattered? Or is this strange?

[sleepfortheweek]

Walking my dog this evening. I was walking through a local park, as were many other people.

I had my headphones in listening to my audio book but out of the corner of my eye I saw a man crossing the park towards me. I didn't think much of it and just kept walking but then I noticed he was walking directly towards me.

When he was close enough I could see he was saying something to me so I took out my ear buds and I didn't catch the first bit but he basically said sorry for being so random but he really like my fashion (I was wearing jeans, boots, an hoody and a body warmer 🤣) and wanted to say hi.

He introduced himself to me and shook my hand. I had no idea what was going on, and I told him my name. He was just kind of smiling at me and making conversation. Asked what I liked to do to relax etc. It was a very normal conversation but in very strange circumstances.

He then asked if I was taken.I said yes, I have a husband and two children. The conversation ended not too long after, with him apologising again for being so random. He said cheerio and off he went on the opposite direction to me 🤷🏼‍♀️

Does this kind of thing actually happen in real life or do you think he was on drugs?? He didn't seem drunk.

I live in a tiny town, and he said he was here for work (even told me what work).

Should I be flattered? Or should I be looking over my shoulder from now on?

This has NEVER happened to me before, it's not like I'm a beauty queen that men fall over themselves to speak to 🤣

The strangest thing was that the part of my audio book I was at was a man and woman who barely knew each other went for a coffee together and I was literally thinking how that never really happens in real life then BOOM I'm accosted by a stranger 🤣

This exactly. ^ It's weird, creepy behaviour, and no normal man would do this.

For the individuals on here saying women who would hate this, are being bloody stupid as it's 'just chatting;' as has been said, we are not talking about men 'just chatting.' This was a man clearly trying to hit on a random woman who was just listening to music and walking her dog, and he made a beeline for her to badger her, hit on her, and ask her personal questions.

Some posters on here, basically poo-pooing and deriding other posters worries and fears and bad experiences, are fucking disgusting. They should be ashamed of themselves. I despair.

think it's far nicer to meet someone like that, then spend hours on end scrolling through OLD sites

Well if you are that bloody desperate val then head to the nearest park with a hoodie and some ear phones, alone, and pretend you are minding your own business and enjoying a walk and hope and pray the local nutjob notices you

How sad that you would rather run the gauntlet of weirdos than be alone. Good manners is respecting people's space and privacy in my world anyway.

Can you help out op and provide the location of the park, so some posters can get lucky later..... can the bar possibly get much lower one might ask

@Swayingpalmtrees

It is not normal of either sex to go up to strangers in parks when they are happily listening to music and walking their dog alone, and start asking them what they do to relax and whether they are married etc?! This is not normal behaviour. I find it stranger still that anyone would defend advances like this given the women that have been murdered in exactly this way.

Exactly this! I can't believe that SO many women on here (claiming to be women anyway,) think this is OK. I call bullshit actually. I think some posters are pulling our leg. I don't know one single woman, married or single, young, middle-aged, or of the older generation, who would find what the man in the park did acceptable.

Not in a million fucking years does any WOMAN think this is OK. Pull the other one eh?

100% this! ^ Brilliant post!

As I said though, I am smelling the strong smell of bullshit on this thread. I genuinely don't believe that any WOMAN thinks this behaviour is OK/normal. Nope. I think a few people be yanking our chain. I bastard hope so anyway! Coz God help us all if some of these odd (and frankly utterly disturbing) posts are for real!

For all those of you who can’t see anything wrong with what this man did, how will you deal with the situation when one of them approaches your daughter? What if he thinks your 14 year old looks older, and so approaches her? She’ll be fine, won’t she, because he doesn’t mean any harm and just finds her attractive.

Sorry, didn’t mean to quote in that last post.

As long as you didn't feel uncomfortable, then it was fine, I guess. I think it's a bit sad how many women here are calling him a creep and a weirdo. A busy park, daylight, introduction, quick chat, and backed off when he knew you weren't single. Nothing wrong with that. Obviously, though, maybe just be certain he didn't get weird and follow! If you meet him again, talk about DH and your very strong, stable, happy marriage! 😂

Well the op obviously thought it was nice and that she should be flattered, MN is bat shit at times and all men are abusive though so I’m not surprised by the comments, we are not talking about men approaching school girls the op is obviously a grown women as she’s married with two kids so not sure what tf a pp is talking about approaching 14 year olds?! Not the same at all or even close!

Why stop at approaching fourteen year old girls, perhaps the 'brave and polite' man could also boost the confidence of twelve year old girls on their way home from school?

This behaviour is predatory, it is not 'chatting' or 'showing interest', people talking about the weather is chatting or a passing comment about a dog etc. The minute he started with the personal questions it turned into something else. It is predatory behaviour that should always be called out as such, and not minimised.

Where is an appropriate place for a man to approach a woman? Clearly, "in broad daylight, in a public place, while sober" is wrong. So is it in a pub/club when both are drunk? At church??

Yes chatting someone up, normal and use to happen all the time before online dating, this thread is hilarious

You don't know he was not drunk or on drugs, you were not there.

The OP was there, though. She wasn't drunk or on drugs as (far as we know).

I am going to leave the minimisers to it, as I think they have an agenda.

And only tonight we see this headlining. I am sure he was just being 'kind' and giving her a lift, and why not - all men are safe after all according to some. You would be 'bat shit' to try and protect yourself in any way after all.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-61237156

You're actually being serious aren't you?

How is that relevant to the OP? The guy didn't try anything. He left as soon as he knew she wasn't interested. Like normal men do.

Completely agree. This thread (and half a dozen or so posters on it) are batshit.

I strongly suspect they're taking the piss/trying to get a rise out of people, OR they are male. Whatever - I am not playing their game anymore. I'm out ... The 'there's nothing wrong with what he did' brigade are batshit.

As I say I'm out. I will leave them to their battershitery and obvious bullshit.

Minimisers? Nothing happened!

All of you on this tack are either wilfully or otherwise ignoring that the man in this scenario was not approaching someone who looked approachable with light chat about the weather or the dog, and having the sort of normal, passing conversation with a stranger that I or any of us might have in the park. This is a specific pick up script, where you are asked increasingly inappropriate and personal questions, and it ends with an attempt at an immediate pick up. Backing off when a partner is mentioned shows that these men only respect other men.

Men who approach women for quick sex are unlikely to take it well if told that although the woman is single, she doesn’t, surprisingly, want to go to his flat, or his friend’s place, right now. We all know what thwarted men are capable of.

There is no circumstance in which my brother, or my dad, or my husband, or any of my lovely male friends would have ever approached a woman in the park and had the conversation the OP describes.

If there are so many of you out there who are okay with this, then I can start to understand why there are so many women posting on these forums about sleazy partners, and seem to have such poor boundaries.

Of all the men to ever approach me none have asked me to go anywhere with them, they ask for your number, stop being so dramatic!

I would immediately assume he was looking for a visa or money....someone to subsidise him.

Some people on here are actually insane.

Of course he could have been a weirdo, predator, under cover cop etc etc but what’s more likely is that he was attracted to you and was trying to chat you up.

I get approached in similar circumstances at least once a month and when I was younger it was a lot more often and I’m not oil painting.
You can usually get a sense of what type of man someone is when you turn them down.

I wouldn’t like someone to shake my hand as I don’t really like shaking hands but if someone went to shake my hand I’d probably do it automatically.

I’d take it as a compliment but like with most men or strangers you should always be on your guard.

Well no. Clearly he thought she was attractive and wanted to talk to her to see if she might be interested in him. She wasn't. He left.

I'm really curious how any of you met your husbands/partners. I'm assuming you approached them first, seeing as men aren't allowed to talk to women they don't know.

No everyone on here Met their partners through uni/work/ family/ friends 🤣😂 sorry that sounds like my idea of hell we don’t all want to date someone everyone knows! I Would hate to date a friend of a friend or a friend of the family or even someone from work! Some of us like to date people not everyone knows.

Have you read about the PUA movement?

Just because it hasn’t happened to you doesn’t mean it doesn’t.

Anyway, I really am out now.

Okay.

Some I can recall:

• invited to a party by a friend, met someone there who she didn’t know but her friend, whose house it was, did;


• someone who worked in the same large organisation I did, but in a different division;


• someone I met at a private view at an art gallery, where I knew the owner;


• a friend’s former flat mate, met at a party she held at her new place;


• DH worked in the same company as me, but not together, got talking at a works drinks.

There were plenty of others, none of whom tried to pick me up in a park when I was clearly not looking for company and was doing something else. Maybe I’ve really missed out…