To be flattered? Or is this strange?

[sleepfortheweek]

Walking my dog this evening. I was walking through a local park, as were many other people.

I had my headphones in listening to my audio book but out of the corner of my eye I saw a man crossing the park towards me. I didn't think much of it and just kept walking but then I noticed he was walking directly towards me.

When he was close enough I could see he was saying something to me so I took out my ear buds and I didn't catch the first bit but he basically said sorry for being so random but he really like my fashion (I was wearing jeans, boots, an hoody and a body warmer 🤣) and wanted to say hi.

He introduced himself to me and shook my hand. I had no idea what was going on, and I told him my name. He was just kind of smiling at me and making conversation. Asked what I liked to do to relax etc. It was a very normal conversation but in very strange circumstances.

He then asked if I was taken.I said yes, I have a husband and two children. The conversation ended not too long after, with him apologising again for being so random. He said cheerio and off he went on the opposite direction to me 🤷🏼‍♀️

Does this kind of thing actually happen in real life or do you think he was on drugs?? He didn't seem drunk.

I live in a tiny town, and he said he was here for work (even told me what work).

Should I be flattered? Or should I be looking over my shoulder from now on?

This has NEVER happened to me before, it's not like I'm a beauty queen that men fall over themselves to speak to 🤣

The strangest thing was that the part of my audio book I was at was a man and woman who barely knew each other went for a coffee together and I was literally thinking how that never really happens in real life then BOOM I'm accosted by a stranger 🤣

🙂

I did wonder what that poster meant in terms of keeping the cordon sanitaire. Are some women simply running away from all men they don’t know? Even in a populated park on daylight? Maybe some people do carry no nonsense weapons.

Its been a while since I’ve been chatted up in the street but I can’t imagine trying to maintain an exclusion zone around myself while walking the dog during the day.

Oh my goodness this exact same thing happened to me in Tesco!! Same conversation, liked my 'style', shook my hand, what did I like doing, then ended abruptly when he asked if I was taken and I said yes...

I thought nothing more of it until I read this! (Haven't RTFT).. Is it some kind of known scam/move?

Odd!

Woah loads of minimising in this group. I'm friendly and will talk to anyone. For example in a queue or like I said if our dogs start sniffing each other, but I wouldn't stop a stranger walking to make conversation with them.

What he did isn't normal and it shouldn't be welcomed. It is weird, rude, annoying, scary. It would make me feel unsettled. Watched etc. And I would probably change my walking routine. So no, it's not ok.

Nothing about the post you’ve quoted shows hysterics or anyone being terrified

If it’s formulaic, it’s more likely to be something being taught as a pick-up technique, would be my guess.

Yes, it is a script devised by PUAs, or Pick Up Artists, who not only develop their vile strategies to pick up women in the street for sex, but also sell their services as coaches to other men.

It’s very telling that they only back off when they are told you’re ‘taken’, i.e. you belong to another man. They have no respect for women’s autonomy at all.

I actually think these men are really just using a scattergun approach to picking up women.

it absolutely this ^^

You won't have been the first that day OP. Probably not even the first in that same park!
It's just a horny man chancing his arm.

It would piss me right off if a stranger stopped me to talk when I had earbuds in. It’s a clear indicator that you’re not up for chatting to randoms and it’s misogynistic at its root. The only exception to this is if someone needed to warn me about a potential hazard or safety issue. A woman wouldn’t have done this. Only entitled men do.

I think I have severe fuck off face on or live in a different world!

I'm 30, attractive, childfree in London and have never been approached (nicely) by men in the street. Let alone daily! Catcalls sometimes yes, but not chatting up in public! (thank god)

Yes men do approach woman randomly, I was at a pub and a band was playing.
The lead singer approached me to tell me I was beautiful, all my female family and friends joked about feeling offended/left out but I’m extremely self conscious about how I look so I immediately thought it was some mean joke of laugh at the ugly girl.
I’ve been approached a several times throughout my life and it makes me feel uncomfortable, I often try to act invisible when I’m in public alone.

I'm with you. God only knows how the human race isn't going to become extinct, very quickly, given that talking to complete strangers is now unacceptable, and as for shaking hands...

You and your audiobook manifested him OP.

God, I feel so sorry for the husbands (and sons) of some of the women on here - what low opinions you have of men! He did nothing wrong - he didn't demand her time - he just chatted to her! People on here calling him vile and creepy and weird - fucks sake! Making up scenarios - oh, he was looking for a quick shag, looking to steal your purse, looking for a visa - wow. There's some proper paranoid people on here.

😂😂

God, I feel so sorry for the husbands (and sons) of some of the women on here

My dh would be the first to say this is creepy behaviour and call it out for what it is, and he does so in much colourful language than we have
Not a massive fan of men ambushing young women in the park, for obvious reasons but you keep telling us we are imagining the murders and the rapes, sure thing.

How did he ambush her? He walked up, had a chat, and left. It isn't creepy at all. You people are insane. I get being careful and all that, but fuck me - when did normal human interactions become 'vile' and 'weird'?

Some people just don't seem to get it, so I give up trying to explain it to you. You keep saying just a chat, but it wasn't just a chat he was propositioning in her in the middle of the park and that is completely different, and could feel very intimidating. IF it was an every day chat then I am sure op would not have cared. "lovely day today" or "what a lovely dog you have" it was NOT that!!

It came be very uncomfortable having a man coming on to you like that, so directly with no encouragement or warning - I would go as far as to say for some women it would be triggering. We are wasting our time explaining any of it to you, you just don't get it.

I was queuing the other day with my child in a petrol station and a man kept staring and staring at me, he then proceeded to wait outside the door watching me as I walked around. After 15 minutes I had no choice but to pay and go, and he was still there and followed me to my car. I was stressed and scared and was fumbling trying to get my dd into the car and I felt frightened, and was looking to see who might help me if the worst happened.

He didn't DO anything, but it was really not a nice encounter. He was still staring as I locked the doors and reversed.

I am sure some of the posters on here will say he was perfectly innocent just looking and waiting. It was not like that though.

OK, for everyone who is female who thinks we are "insane" and pities our husbands, a question. When is the last time you went up to a lone man in a park, told him your name and asked what he liked to do to relax and if they were "taken"? Would you ever consider doing this?

Not a natural encounter, as others have said, PUA lines.

Like never CPL with a few exceptions of sex workers I imagine and fifteen year old girls doing it for a dare with their friends.

It is not normal of either sex to go up to strangers in parks when they are happily listening to music and walking their dog alone, and start asking them what they do to relax and whether they are married etc?! This is not normal behaviour. I find it stranger still that anyone would defend advances like this given the women that have been murdered in exactly this way.

OK, for everyone who is female who thinks we are "insane" and pities our husbands, a question. When is the last time you went up to a lone man in a park, told him your name and asked what he liked to do to relax and if they were "taken"? Would you ever consider doing this?

Sorry... Meant to say Exactly to the above.

I think it's far nicer to meet someone like that, then spend hours on end scrolling through OLD sites.
The chap wasn't rude or threatening, he apparently found OP attractive and wished to meet her. He clearly had confidence and decent manners as once told that OP was married, politely went on his way.
I wish more men would have the courage to follow suit.

I don't think I've ever been chatted up quite like that, though a man who looked exactly like John Lee Hooker once told my daughter she should be glad to have such a cool attractive mum. Which was odd but not unpleasant.

I do often get odd men who just talk to me about whatever, one who told me he was Jesus, that turned into a very strange conversation. My boss at the time who had once been a professional interrogator told me I had a receptive face.

I've had a few pushier encounters as well but usually more in pubs. I am quite happy to reject men who are polite but pushy pisses me off.

I do have a close friend, her dad spotted her mum while he was walking down the street, she was in a shop making a purchase, and he decided she would marry her.