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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be flattered? Or is this strange?

369 replies

sleepfortheweek · 25/04/2022 23:29

Walking my dog this evening. I was walking through a local park, as were many other people.

I had my headphones in listening to my audio book but out of the corner of my eye I saw a man crossing the park towards me. I didn't think much of it and just kept walking but then I noticed he was walking directly towards me.

When he was close enough I could see he was saying something to me so I took out my ear buds and I didn't catch the first bit but he basically said sorry for being so random but he really like my fashion (I was wearing jeans, boots, an hoody and a body warmer 🤣) and wanted to say hi.

He introduced himself to me and shook my hand. I had no idea what was going on, and I told him my name. He was just kind of smiling at me and making conversation. Asked what I liked to do to relax etc. It was a very normal conversation but in very strange circumstances.

He then asked if I was taken.I said yes, I have a husband and two children. The conversation ended not too long after, with him apologising again for being so random. He said cheerio and off he went on the opposite direction to me 🤷🏼‍♀️

Does this kind of thing actually happen in real life or do you think he was on drugs?? He didn't seem drunk.

I live in a tiny town, and he said he was here for work (even told me what work).

Should I be flattered? Or should I be looking over my shoulder from now on?

This has NEVER happened to me before, it's not like I'm a beauty queen that men fall over themselves to speak to 🤣

The strangest thing was that the part of my audio book I was at was a man and woman who barely knew each other went for a coffee together and I was literally thinking how that never really happens in real life then BOOM I'm accosted by a stranger 🤣

OP posts:
MissStarry · 25/04/2022 23:31

Sounds like a PUA testing his luck

MissStarry · 25/04/2022 23:32

He was obviously attracted to you whatever his character!

ForeverLooking · 25/04/2022 23:34

Do you know what's really sad? I was reading your post thinking how suspicious I'd be and how I'd be scared for the rest of my walk.

MurmuratingStarling · 25/04/2022 23:34

Very weird and creepy and sinister. Similar things happened to me when I was younger and it always ALWAYS freaked me out. I even used to wear an 'engagement ring' when I wasn't even dating, to deter weirdos like this.

URGH. What a creep. Vile... Hmm

Lightstoobright · 25/04/2022 23:35

Errm yes men ask women out in the street. It happens.

MurmuratingStarling · 25/04/2022 23:36

Lightstoobright · 25/04/2022 23:35

Errm yes men ask women out in the street. It happens.

Only weird men.

mycatisannoying · 25/04/2022 23:36

Sounds harmless enough to me. You sound bemused but not uncomfortable by the experience. Wish it would happen to me! Grin

CucumberCool · 25/04/2022 23:38

Sadly I think it would shake me up a little and I would feel really uncomfortable for the rest of the walk and probably for a little while after.

worraliberty · 25/04/2022 23:38

He sounds a bit full on and shaking your hand was a bit strange.

Then again one person's strange is another person's normal I suppose.

MurmuratingStarling · 25/04/2022 23:38

mycatisannoying · 25/04/2022 23:36

Sounds harmless enough to me. You sound bemused but not uncomfortable by the experience. Wish it would happen to me! Grin

Oh dear God! Confused

sleepfortheweek · 25/04/2022 23:39

I didn't feel uncomfortable, there was loads of other people about.

Bemused definitely. The first thing I did afterwards was text DH about my strange encounter 🤣

OP posts:
Vikinga · 25/04/2022 23:46

It's creepy. Fair enough striking a conversation if your dogs were sniffing each other but to come at you and interrupt you whilst you were listening to something with your ear phones in is rude and annoying.

sleepfortheweek · 25/04/2022 23:48

@Vikinga he didn't even have a dog 🙈🙈

Tbf he wouldn't have seen I was listening to anything. I had air pods in and I have a lot of hair which was down

OP posts:
SpacePotato · 25/04/2022 23:55

I wouldn't even have acknowledged him tbh. If I'd noticed a strange man walking directly towards me I would've walked away. Certainly not shook his hand and made conversation.

Josette77 · 25/04/2022 23:56

I don't think there's anything wrong with this. He found you attractive and wanted to ask you out. I have dated quite a few men who asked me out in similiar ways.

Hawkins001 · 25/04/2022 23:58

Truth is certainly strange at times, all the best op, certainly a different approach although always be aware of risk etc

Moonface123 · 25/04/2022 23:58

l remember a couple of years ago l was out walking in a busy area, in my own little world and a man walked past me, then back tracked and told me what a lovely looking face l have, and just very briefly said he wanted to tell me, hoped l didn' t mind, then went on his way.
What he didn't know was that l was having the absolute day of hell, honestly l felt so bloody defeated by it all, I was actually in the pits of despair, now l don't know how genuine or sincere he was being, but l will admit a random act of kindness did go along way for me that day.
Its a shame we have to question someones agenda, but thats the world we live in.

Aquamarine1029 · 25/04/2022 23:59

You never should have allowed that man to get so close to you. FGS, he's a fucking nutter and when will women ever learn that we don't have to be nice all the bloody time.

LittleYellowDog · 26/04/2022 00:03

Doesn't your dog miss out on interaction if you have headphones in and an audio book?

worraliberty · 26/04/2022 00:04

Aquamarine1029 · 25/04/2022 23:59

You never should have allowed that man to get so close to you. FGS, he's a fucking nutter and when will women ever learn that we don't have to be nice all the bloody time.

I'd normally agree, except the OP enjoyed the encounter and it doesn't sound like she forced herself to be nice.

Sometimes people just want to be.

UnwantedOpinionBelow · 26/04/2022 00:05

I think he just sounds like he was attracted to you, doesn't sound weird to me at all. I have had quite a few conversations like this and rarely has the person been a creep.

worraliberty · 26/04/2022 00:06

LittleYellowDog · 26/04/2022 00:03

Doesn't your dog miss out on interaction if you have headphones in and an audio book?

I'm sure she gave the dog tummy time when they got home 😂😂

LegArmpits · 26/04/2022 00:08

It happened to me in Safeway's supermarket about 20 years ago and I remember being highly amused but saying to the guy "don't be weird" 😂😑

Sweepingeyelashes · 26/04/2022 00:13

Well somebody came up to me in the supermarket and said, "I just wanted to tell you that you had beautiful hair". I just said "thank you" and that was it and he wandered off. I wouldn't have initiated a conversation or shaken hands though as that would just be too forward for me.

CircleofWillis · 26/04/2022 00:18

I am black, live in London and am averagely attractive in a plump mumsy way and this is an everyday occurrence for me. So much so that I find myself tensing slightly whenever I pass a man or group of men on the street.

It generally takes the form of greeting me and making a comment about my appearance. I have learnt that saying 'hi' in return, not keeping eye contact and just keeping on moving will extricate myself from what otherwise would be an attempt to follow me or engage me in conversation. If I am cycling I get even more comments but then I can just pedal on by.

I notice that younger women will stop and chat and they will all flirt with each other in a way I never did even when I was young and single.

I don't feel threatened, just awkward and unwilling to engage. I really just want to get on with my day most of the time without getting into the - not interested/ not single / not up for anything - discussion. I actually think these men are really just using a scattergun approach to picking up women.