To be flattered? Or is this strange?

[sleepfortheweek]

Walking my dog this evening. I was walking through a local park, as were many other people.

I had my headphones in listening to my audio book but out of the corner of my eye I saw a man crossing the park towards me. I didn't think much of it and just kept walking but then I noticed he was walking directly towards me.

When he was close enough I could see he was saying something to me so I took out my ear buds and I didn't catch the first bit but he basically said sorry for being so random but he really like my fashion (I was wearing jeans, boots, an hoody and a body warmer 🤣) and wanted to say hi.

He introduced himself to me and shook my hand. I had no idea what was going on, and I told him my name. He was just kind of smiling at me and making conversation. Asked what I liked to do to relax etc. It was a very normal conversation but in very strange circumstances.

He then asked if I was taken.I said yes, I have a husband and two children. The conversation ended not too long after, with him apologising again for being so random. He said cheerio and off he went on the opposite direction to me 🤷🏼‍♀️

Does this kind of thing actually happen in real life or do you think he was on drugs?? He didn't seem drunk.

I live in a tiny town, and he said he was here for work (even told me what work).

Should I be flattered? Or should I be looking over my shoulder from now on?

This has NEVER happened to me before, it's not like I'm a beauty queen that men fall over themselves to speak to 🤣

The strangest thing was that the part of my audio book I was at was a man and woman who barely knew each other went for a coffee together and I was literally thinking how that never really happens in real life then BOOM I'm accosted by a stranger 🤣

@Marmite17 but who are you to say what men can talk about when chatting up a woman? They say whatever they feel comfortable with and as long as it’s respectful, what’s the problem?

I’d find it strange if a man chatted me up and had approached me with a handshake, doesn’t make him a creep tho. I rather someone come up to me asking what my interests are then start talking about the weather like you’ve suggested. It’s all down to preference but doesn’t make one way right or wrong…

With Covid, WFH etc there’s little chance to meet people IRL.
it sounds cute to me but really depends on the vibe

This. It's entitled and creepy behaviour.

It's neither strange nor flattering, imo.

I think the advice is usually take up a hobby / join a club in the hope you might meet someone with a shared interest, not wander round a park randomly!

How sad that most women, as represented on this thread, do not have much trust in men.

A few years back I probably would have been a bit flattered if approached under OP's circumstances. Nowadays I'd just be creeped out - unfortunately there are too many perverts out there waiting to pounce.

Report him to the police for failing to follow the correct channels of communication.

Come on everyone, the OP was in a public space, it probably wasn’t obvious that she was wearing earbuds and a man comes up and chats to her. When he finds out she is married makes his excuses and leaves her alone. That’s the key point to me - no real weirdo would be off by a little thing like a husband!

Off = put off, obviously!

I actually think these men are really just using a scattergun approach to picking up women.

This is spot on. They approach any woman on her own that they find attractive - I watched a guy do this at Liverpool St Station once. A lot of women just gave him suspicious looks and walked on. Some looked doubtful but allowed themselves to be stopped before making their excuses. Some seemed to welcome his attention, and in the end one of them went into McDonald's with him, so I guess it can work.

I had a similar thing happen to me on a busy street in London. I was just walking quickly and purposely and he was suddenly there, in front of me telling me how he really loved my style, that I was elegant and he felt in awe of me. It was very random, I wasn’t in any way expecting any attention, or dressed provocatively. My first thought was, of course, to hold my purse close, and look around me in case he had an accomplice or something. We talked briefly and ended with him saying he’ll look me up on Insta… how he’d do that I don’t know as he didn’t know my name. I felt flattered, I guess it’s nice to be noticed in your forties, but also a little creeped out.

What an incredibly sad outlook on life.

I prefer to go on a case by case basis and judge each situation on its own merit. Such closed and paranoid behaviour would mean missing wonderful opportunities life has to offer.

In OPs case I I would have behaved in exactly the same way.

Most times I've been approached by men in public have been somewhere between annoying and creepy so I see where the negative reaction is coming from. I've always advised male friends never, ever to approach women they don't know in public.

However every so often a man can actually pull it off without being creepy. It's hard to explain but some combination of their openness, their good vibes, giving you personal space, being willing to back off. And it makes for a positive brief connection. What happened to the OP just sounds like a nice moment. Really rare though, especially as it probably requires that I'm also in a good mood.

What’s a PUA?

It's hard to meet people now adays and there are so few places where it is appropriate for people to flirt. Historically most people met at work but this is a no now. I don't think he did anything wrong. The OP wasnt creeped out. Approaching women in safe public spaces is much less creepy than dark alcholo fueled ones. I much prefer a direct approach, someone coming up with twaddle like weather or time would wind me up. The handshake sounds... Unusual but equally kind of quaint rather than creepy. If he'd tried to kiss or embrace then absolutely overstepping and creepy but he didn't. All these difficulties preventing people meeting I can see UK will go way of Japan with young people increasingly single and dropping birthrates

I would avoid him too.

Op, I'm surprised that you offered your name, if I'm honest. From some of the replies on here I assume that the need to be nice and polite over rides our ability to deal appropriately with strange men who actively seek out women they don't know in order to hit on them. It's not like you were in a club.

I wouldn't be particularly flattered, no. Annoyed and worried, possibly.

Nope, I'd have kept my earbuds in, head down and carried on walking. Had similar happen to me, guy came over and asked how I was when walking through a park, I was nicely dressed as I'd been to an interview so suit, heels, my one designer bag. I ignored him and he kept talking at me, asking where I was going, did I have a partner, he then grabbed my arm and called me rude for ignoring him and he was just being friendly. I was pretty scared at this point so I shook him off, walked quickly towards a middle aged couple and their dog and asked them if I could walk with them until he fucked off. When he walked away, there was another guy lurking not too far away and they walked off together. I wondered if they'd targeted me as I had an expensive bag but if they were thinking of robbing me, they would have been disappointed as I had about 50p to my name, and the bag was a 40th birthday present from a number of friends! Scared me though and sadly I don't walk through parks on my own anymore

Pick up artist.

I find myself talking endlessly to random men in the park.…. but only about dogs! I’d find this quite weird too but clearly he was looking for company in a strange town.

I missed that part.

Definitely a creep then. That would have me rolling my eyes and moving swiftly on.

@LittleYellowDog erm no, I don't usually talk to her throughout our whole walk.

Honestly I was just so taken aback, I couldn't even think straight. Luckily there was loads of other people there, and still daylight, so I didn't feel threatened

Oh yes! Cycling REALLY brings out the cheekiness of men.
I had one say ''Lucky saddle'' which was ridiculous...and worse.

But luckily I'm older now, and in the ''Invisible'' class.

No not at all, but she's a very ambivalent dog 🤣

Actually this crossed my mind. He was very direct and almost thinking of the most common ways of how to start a conversation.