"please don’t use your reasoning of the abuse you suffered to claim another woman isn’t a victim"
I don't think they are. They're saying Heard's actions don't make much sense if you think of her as the victim of abuse.
Lots of us have suffered abuse. I did so at the hands of my grandmother and I'll be the first to admit it colours my perception of Heard because I recognise things in her from my childhood.
The only reason the abuse stopped is that I grew big enough and fed up enough to hit back. Hard. She immediately resorted to her poor old woman act (she was in her 40s, my mother had me when she was 15 and promptly abandoned me) and threatened to call the police.
Had she actually done so I might well have been called the abuser if she was believed and not me. Some might have claimed we were as awful as each other and that the abuse was mutual. If I was male I think the chances of me being believed would have been considerably reduced.
I don't know if Depp ever hit Heard. He may have done in retaliation. He claims not and that might also be true. All I know is that he has no history of domestic violence and his former girlfriends have come out in support whereas Heard has a history of violence to a former girlfriend, to her friend and to her sister. She also admitted on tape to being violent and mocked him saying no-one would believe he was the victim of abuse.
She was only partially correct about the last. Lots of people do believe he was the only or primary victim of abuse. However, there is a set of people, usually feminists, who do behave as she predicted and overlook or make endless excuses for her known violence or claim that him trying to defend himself or reclaim his reputation is somehow 'triggering' for those of us who have been abused.
Perhaps it is for women who were beaten by men. As a woman who was beaten by another woman I have a very difference response to the case.