To expect my husband to have a basic understanding of how the female body works?

[Noeggsinmybasket]

I’ve suspected for the last year or so that I’ve been going through peri menopause. I’m 38, my mum started the menopause at 40.

My dh mentioned Ronaldo this evening and how horrible it was that he and his partner had lost their baby. I agreed, it is awful. I said to him that it was an emotive subject for me given that I lost our dc2’s twin during pregnancy. This in itself is something that dh has admitted to having forgotten about in the past (dc2 is only 6)… despite having been fully aware that I was miscarrying at the time and attending the scan and subsequent appointments at which we were told the baby was gone. I’m not really sure how someone can forget having lost a child.

Anyway, long story short… I mentioned to dh that I suspect I have a history of ovulating twice a month/releasing multiple eggs and that is why I am experiencing peri menopause at quite an early stage in life. He didn’t understand this at all. He said oh yes, you thought you were going through menopause when you were pregnant with dc1 (I most certainly did not). He just doesn’t seem to understand the concept of women having a finite amount of eggs, and that if indeed I have been releasing two a month on a regular basis they are likely to be expended at a faster rate, leading to menopause. Is this really such an alien concept? I’m not sure if I’m expecting too much? He got the hump at my exasperation and the night has ended on a sour note. It’s upsetting because I wasn’t looking for an argument, just a conversation and some acknowledgment.

If men were taught it in school as boys, you just know they'd end up mansplaining it women in their 20s....

My husband thought women could hold in their menstrual blood. He has a mother, a sister, two teenaged daughters, and has lived with me for over 20 years.

My periods are quite floody the second day. (Dh has commented previously that despite having had dc I am still quite tight.. 😳..) Last month he said it was lucky I am as I would flood more if I wasn't!
I give up. Truly.

I used this phrase earlier in the thread as a tongue in cheek. But I hate the phrase, its a nonsense attack on men and as can be seen from the need to correct knowlege bases of women, a lot of explaining is needed.

Leave him alone. Speaking as a women with 2 dc experienced 3 miscarriages. I don’t thing anyone understands the menopause until it’s then going through it. How you explained it doesn’t sound easy to understand

My ex husband thought that All womens periods only lasted one day. I didn’t know this until he got really shirty about having no sex for a week every month, he’d assumed I was lying about period pain and flooding to get out of it. He was 36 at the time. Mind you he also claims The Holocaust never happened.

I am sorry I am not sure your idea has anything science about it. My older sister had 7 rounds of ivf and I had 3 rounds of ivf. So for each round we were triggered to produce lots of extra eggs but I went through menopause in my early 50/51/52 ahead of my sister who went through it about 53/54.

When we had ivf I was telling my m’n’law my husband thought babies were created when the sperm developed a head and legs - a bit like a tadpole turning into a frog. As I laughed myself hysterically my m’n’law rather tentatively admitted to me she thought that’s what happened too - and she had given birth three times! So I am sorry I am not surprised that your hubby is not up to knowledge on menopause.

Well. That cleared a few things up- thanks OP.

@bellac11 also tongue-in-cheek but triggered by a guy 'mansplaining' to me earlier. I usually wouldn't be so flippant.

@EmpressoftheMundane is it possible he believes women pee through our vaginas so should be able to hold in our mentrual blood just as we can hold in pee?

Well done op for coming back and being so gracious. As a mum of twins I can only imagine how awful that must have been for you then and now. 💐
I'm not very good at adding links, but Google

'MEN... let's talk menopause by Ruth Devlin '

www.vitalsource.com/en-uk/products/men-let-s-talk-menopause-ruth-devlin-v9781788600828?duration=perpetual

Biology lessons at school, internet, just bloody read and learn and support your wife. It is not hard!

Biology lessons at school, internet, just bloody read and learn and support your wife. It is not hard!

Yes there is hope and I think it is important to acknowledge how hard it can be but also that it isn't always like that.

YANBU about being disgusted that he forgot you'd miscarried one of your twins but the biology stuff yeah YABU about that tbf

This. He obviously doesn't give any thought to this sort of stuff at all. I don't know why you're surprised.

I'll.bet he thinks women wee out of their vagina as well.

I had a hysterectomy at 40. A female friend who was 10 years younger asked if I would still have periods. 🤔

I don't know what boys are taught in school now but men over 25 almost certainly didn't learn the details of ovulation when they went. In fact most men and women only really learn about this stuff when trying to conceive.

Is this whole thread a wind up?

The OP clearly does not understand how ovulation works. Are we being lampooned?

Theres all sorts of health issues that all of us are not informed/educated about to some degree or another

Recently I was talking to my manager, we both have elderly parents, she was not aware of how dangerous urine infections are and how they can mimic the signs of dementia in the elderly

I know enough people that think that being cold, can give you a cold

Just a couple of examples that as a society there are all sorts of confusions and myths or old wives tales or general lack of knowledge that people have about the human body and how it works. Its therefore not terrible/neglectful/lacking in support for men not to know this stuff (when large numbers of women also dont know this stuff)

I asked a group of male friends where they thought girls weed from and they all thought it was from the vagina.

OMG. That is shocking.

Tbf some wimmin think the same thing. Take tampons out so they can wee type of thing

Glad we got the biology untangled, OP!
To add another random data point - I'm 50, no breaks in ovulation due to birth control or pregnancy, and still bleed like clockwork every month.

The title of this thread is wrong. Knowledge is not the same as understanding. If nobody ever taught you something - eg the intricacies of the female reproductive system - you'll never know. As the OP ironically demonstrated.