To want my own bed on holiday

[littlepieces]

I'm going to Lisbon for a long weekend in July, meeting up with two great friends I haven't seen for about 4 years; one lives in LA, the other is in Dublin (I'm in London). We booked a villa with four double bedrooms to accommodate LA friend and her husband, their friends (another couple) who I've met a few times and are lovely, then Dublin friend and me would each have our own rooms.

LA friend has just announced that she's invited another couple, hope that's OK with everyone. And possibly some other friend might sleep on the sofa bed for two nights?! This now means me and Dublin friend will be sharing a queen size bed. Now I adore Dublin friend but I'm 35 and want my own bed. Also she's 6'2, snores loads, and is always the one last to bed drunk, and freakishly early to rise. I'm a loser and like my sleep 😄. I'm thinking of suggesting to book my own place, but think this might go down badly. Something similar happened with another group of friends years ago on a trip to New York - they had people sleeping on the floor in a grotty, overpriced Airbnb with rats, while I stayed in a really nice, new hostel with private rooms. They were all a bit offended and caused some bad feeling.

No way. I have on occasion shared a bed with a female friend, but I never sleep well and would absolutely refuse to do it for more than one night.

Our US friends and relatives do this sort of thing all the time and it drives me nuts.

The dynamic shift is worse than the bed sharing IMO. There's barely a point in the holiday now!

YANBU. I don’t share rooms let alone beds!

LA friend needs to understand that not everyone feels as she does.

genius. PLEASE do this and then report back 😂

Hell no! Not a hope.

What is it with Americans that they can call in a vague 20-30 year old friendship, expect to get a free B&B at yours and bring their family and friends to come crash out too.

Fuck that. Sorry, doesn't work for me is a complete sentence.

Absolutely agree - no way would I stand for this.😎

Had 2 of them trying that on.

Once you say no they won't contact you again. So that is good.....

YADNBU!
I would write something along the lines of
" oh, how will that work with the accommodation we've booked? Are you able to cancel and get somewhere bigger, LA CF? After all, we're not skint students anymore, needing to bunk up with each other? "

They don't want you and Dublin there at all. They want to swing.....

My cousin was most put put when I wouldn't share a bed with her in a hotel for a night

I don't blame you not wanting to share with her if she was going to be put-putting under the covers all night <coat: getting>

some places that rent out rooms etc are really particular about how many people you can have in there.

I don't think it's even so much them being particular. Most accommodation providers' insurance will only cover them for up to agreed maximum occupancy based on the number of beds, so if their place that sleeps 6 people got trashed/burnt down or whatever and it was later found that there had been 8 people sleeping there, they might well find that their insurer would refuse to pay out a penny.

Your position is strengthened if you’re paying for a room. Eg: total room cost split 4 ways where you, Dublin, LA (and DH), Random (and DH) each pay 25%. If it’s simply the room cost split 6 ways then I can see their point a bit.

Not affecting her sleeping arrangements though is it!

Sounds like it's an LA friends reunion (her, husband, another couple already booked, this new couple and someone crashing on the sofabed!!) and you and Dublin girl are on the sidelines. Who booked/organised it all??

It'll be a full house all the time, especially if someone is sleeping in the lounge, there will be stuff everywhere.

Why does that mean you snd Dublin share

La invited them. They can have her room /sleep on the other sofa

along with other couple

assuming 4 doubles there must be sofa /sitting space for 8

be very clear and firm. You have your own bed and room. End of

so not you aren’t ok with the sleeping arrangements being changed

Just ask how she sees it working out when there are only 4 bedrooms and you dont want to share.

The more the merrier and cheeper if these new people contributing too, but also comes with problems. I would call my mates and be light hearted but firm. More people means their costs are already down for the original apartment, in which case I would have no compunction whatsoever in just saying, "Look, this apartment is going to be overcrowded now and I admit I like my space. I will be shit craic if I have to share a bed, fight over a bathroom and deal with people snoring. I want to be at my best when I see you all so I hope you won't be offended cause I am going to sort myself somewhere close by to stay by myself so that there more room in the apartment and I can have my own room and bed."

Put up with it for friendship?

You shouldn't sacrifice your comfort to make the others happy. I'd tell them you prefer your own bed, so either they can uninvite the extra couple of you'll cheerfully find another place to stay. If they don't like it, too bad! I find it incredibly rude when people take it upon themselves to change plans without first consulting the others involved.

I wouldn't sleep if forced to share a double bed with a friend.
If it was a twin room that would just about be ok, but as I get older I'm less keen on those since I got woken up at 3am by the light on my friends kindle.
Anyway friends don't force others into unsatisfactory sleeping arrangements and invite randoms without clearing it first.

There’s a few select mates I’d share a room with - and even a couple I’d share a bed with after a random drunken night out…. But not a planned long weekend, when you expected your own room.
i did have to share a bed with my mum a few years ago, when we went to Germany on a mini break. They had mucked up our reservation, so they upgraded us to a suite with an ENORMOUS bed. When they asked us if we wanted our booked twin room the next day, we said we’d stay in our palatial suite! 🤣 But that was a one off, and I a bed where you could have slept about 4 people across! I’d say to your mates that wasn’t what you signed up for - and I’m fairly sure Dublin mate is feeling the same…. Can the two of you get somewhere else? Maybe a 2 bed apartment nearby?
But yeah, total CFs.

Funny how the "more the merrier" people never have to change THEIR sleeping arrangements!!

LA friend is a CF.

Let her give up her bed if she chooses, but not yours.

I would not hesitate to spell that out.
She is very rude.

Best to make your own arrangements for accommodation.

I'd like space from someone so rude.

Thanks everyone for your thoughts!

LA has family in Spain and both her and her husband have lived in a few European cities. Every time they visit Europe they try to squeeze in seeing as many people as possible. I get that, it's a big and expensive trip for them, and they don't get as much leave holiday leave in the States.

But yes it's a good point that none of the plans affect their sleeping arrangements! I'm going to have to say something I think. Like a few posters have said, I will be moody without sleep and space. Nobody wants that.

YANBU
i hate sharing a bed and a room so that would be a no go for me.