To want my own bed on holiday

[littlepieces]

I'm going to Lisbon for a long weekend in July, meeting up with two great friends I haven't seen for about 4 years; one lives in LA, the other is in Dublin (I'm in London). We booked a villa with four double bedrooms to accommodate LA friend and her husband, their friends (another couple) who I've met a few times and are lovely, then Dublin friend and me would each have our own rooms.

LA friend has just announced that she's invited another couple, hope that's OK with everyone. And possibly some other friend might sleep on the sofa bed for two nights?! This now means me and Dublin friend will be sharing a queen size bed. Now I adore Dublin friend but I'm 35 and want my own bed. Also she's 6'2, snores loads, and is always the one last to bed drunk, and freakishly early to rise. I'm a loser and like my sleep 😄. I'm thinking of suggesting to book my own place, but think this might go down badly. Something similar happened with another group of friends years ago on a trip to New York - they had people sleeping on the floor in a grotty, overpriced Airbnb with rats, while I stayed in a really nice, new hostel with private rooms. They were all a bit offended and caused some bad feeling.

Your American friend is rude.

I would say sorry but there’s no room at the inn.

And besides that bringing random strangers to a reunion of good friends will spoil the whole dynamic. There is no way I’d be moving out to accommodate these people.

I think you need to speak up immediately and tell them this won't work for you if it means you no longer haver your own room and bed. Be clear that this is non negotiable and the trip you agreed to.

What's Dublin friend's thoughts on this, she might feel the same and not want to share a room, never mind a bed

They should have asked first, how rude.

Solution! They can share with her and her DH 😋

Sounds more like the LA couple have hijacked the weekend, it will be difficult for you and the Dublin friend as the dynamics will centre on them and they sound selfish expecting to be able to commandeer 75% of the rooms, I'd pull out, saying it's not what you had intended. Alternative solution would be for the third LA couple to sleep on the sofa, airbed, anywhere but a bedroom.

Did you message back OP.

I'd never share a bed or a room !

That is awfully presumptuous to have invited more people!
Sharing a bed once one is beyond teen years is not something many adults would like doing.

Well if course she doesn't.

It's cheaper for her and she still gets her own room with her DH!

Good God, there’s no way I’d share a room, let alone a bed. It was IMO VVU to expect grown adults to bunk up.

I’d book my own accomm*, OP, and if they get huffy about it, tough.

*and make damn sure I get refunded for anything I’ve already paid for the other!

i;d take "invite another couple along" to mean - they are in lisbon at same time as you. not sharing the accomodation.

what is the current split of the villa? 1 /4 each across 3 friends and other couple. and what is the new split. I'd just say its fine, hopefully they can find somewhere NEAR TO YOUR VILLA to stay.

Surely you just need to say ‘OK, have you looked at alternative places with more bedrooms? I’ll have a look later if you like’?

Sharing a room wouldn’t bother me, but I definantly wouldn’t want to share a bed.

^ This but first sentence only!!

That’s really interesting @BritWifeInUSA . I’d arrange to share a hotel room with an American friend. We’d done so before, I usually compromised as it made her trip a bit more affordable. Anyway she invited a mutual friend to share our room. I said, oh, are you happy to share a bed? And she muttered about getting a fold away bed. Yeah, I’m not paying half for a hotel room to trip over someone. Also, we’d have to ask the hotel and I’m the one who booked the room, confirmed 2 person occupancy etc, so that would be on me. I said no worries, best I cancel the room, they can book somewhere together and I’ll book separately for just myself.

Funny how they lost interest in the plan after that. I had nothing against mutual friend but the time to ask to share was beforehand, when we could’ve found something bigger, for 3 people. Luckily it wasn’t prepaid so I held all the cards as I could cancel with no penalty and no one else could add anyone to the booking.

US hotel rooms do tend to be lovely and spacious but having paid similar prices for cupboard sized rooms in Europe, I want to enjoy all that lovely space. Not trip over people on my way to the loo.

Yes! Find different accommodation! You're not students. So cheeky.

No OP this sounds like an endurance test not a lovely reunion. I would either cancel or book alternative accommodation.

Does this take the accommodation over its capacity? Doesnt this risk you getting booted out or facing fines? This was a strict no no in the place we have just been and owner lived locally.

Text immediately. "Where are they going to sleep? There aren't enough bedrooms. "

Then she'll have to reply 'oh I thought they could just bump in with you', to which you can reply, no, I need my own room.

Why can't the new guests sleep on sofa bed? Or LA friend and her husband?

Close it down right away. Friendly but firm. You booked on the basis that you would have your own bed and prefer bit to share with Dublin friend

So LA friend just made this into a holiday for her and bunch of her friends.
'Oh, so are your friends staying nearby then or are you looking for a bigger villa for all of us? Better check the cancellation terms. Oh no lol of course I'm too old to be sharing a small bed with friends!'

At that age, if you can all afford it, there shouldn't be a reason to share a bed. I did it plenty of times when I was younger and low cost was really important, but I wouldn't do it now.

Would definitely raise this or it'll ruin your break.

OP perhaps you should ask LA friend, in a faux concerned voice, how she and her husband and the other couple are all going to all manage in one room and in one bed?

See what alternative solution she comes up with.

When she tells you you'll be sharing with Dublin friend you can make it very clear why that's not going to happen.

Not this American. But I know what you mean. Years ago I used to pay the difference on work trips so that I could have my own room. Happy to say that current employer does not expect people to share.

I don't like to share a bed with anyone except DH. And I won't share a room with anyone but him or sometimes my sister if we are travelling without partners. Even my best friend and I get separate rooms when we travel together; we both like our privacy and have different sleep schedules/patterns.

This would be a deal breaker for me, OP. You are definitely not being unreasonable.

'Excellent- but by my count there won't be enough bedrooms, as they are all allocated. Are they happy to sleep in the living room. If not, I guess we need to find a place with more bedrooms'