To want my own bed on holiday

[littlepieces]

I'm going to Lisbon for a long weekend in July, meeting up with two great friends I haven't seen for about 4 years; one lives in LA, the other is in Dublin (I'm in London). We booked a villa with four double bedrooms to accommodate LA friend and her husband, their friends (another couple) who I've met a few times and are lovely, then Dublin friend and me would each have our own rooms.

LA friend has just announced that she's invited another couple, hope that's OK with everyone. And possibly some other friend might sleep on the sofa bed for two nights?! This now means me and Dublin friend will be sharing a queen size bed. Now I adore Dublin friend but I'm 35 and want my own bed. Also she's 6'2, snores loads, and is always the one last to bed drunk, and freakishly early to rise. I'm a loser and like my sleep 😄. I'm thinking of suggesting to book my own place, but think this might go down badly. Something similar happened with another group of friends years ago on a trip to New York - they had people sleeping on the floor in a grotty, overpriced Airbnb with rats, while I stayed in a really nice, new hostel with private rooms. They were all a bit offended and caused some bad feeling.

[TurquoiseSwirl]

Deal breaker for me.
message saying sorry they didn’t check first, as you agreed for your own room and aren’t going to share.

[420Bruh]

@littlepieces

I think LA friend's thinking is that the more the merrier... and works out cheaper for everyone. So doesn't see any problem.

She's not the one forced to share a room! Say no now, you're not ok with that. They can make different arrangements.

[CoraPirbright]

Bloody hell your LA friend is rude! And it totally changes the dynamics as you do not know these extra friends.

I would be deliberately obtuse: “sounds great! How lovely that they are staying nearby. We can meet up for dinner and all sorts”. Then when they make it clear that you are going to have to give up your room, you can just breezily say “oh no - at the cost of the trip, I want my own room as originally planned. I am too old to be bunking in with friends! Shall we investigate a larger villa then?”

[Newbuilddecider]

I would be gutted! I need an hour or two on my own during the day so that I don’t feel overwhelmed, it would completely change the holiday for me

[Oysterbabe]

No chance would I do that. My friends know my own room is a condition of me going.

[Gingefringe]

"Sorry I have a bowel condition and need my own room as I break wind all night"

[ThisThreadIsMildlyAmusing]

Yeah fuck that shit. I don't share my bed with anyone apart from a partner. Just reply like Joey Tribbiani "little pieces don't share no beds".

[ArcheryAnnie]

@Oblomov22

Text immediately. "Where are they going to sleep? There aren't enough bedrooms. "

Then she'll have to reply 'oh I thought they could just bump in with you', to which you can reply, no, I need my own room.

This is a perfect response. The LA couple's accommodation isn't your problem, as you already have your own room booked in the villa. The people who invited them can sort them out. Your room isn't theirs to give away.

[perimenofertility]

Stand up for yourself - just say no!
You've planned the trip you wanted, you want to keep it as that. LA friend is changing the dynamic by turning it into a gathering of all her friends instead of your friendship group. There’s no way I’d want to share a bed past teenage years. And also, even if enough beds, what are the bathroom arrangements? What if some want to stay up later but sofa bed couple want to sleep? You’ll all be squashed and on top of each other. Speak up, or back out.

[tigger1001]

"Oblomov22
Text immediately. "Where are they going to sleep? There aren't enough bedrooms. "

Then she'll have to reply 'oh I thought they could just bump in with you', to which you can reply, no, I need my own room.
This is a perfect response. The LA couple's accommodation isn't your problem, as you already have your own room booked in the villa. The people who invited them can sort them out. Your room isn't theirs to give away."

I agree with this.

Your la friend is being very rude. They are happy to give away rooms and beds that don't affect them.

[dreamingbohemian]

Gosh she's being spectacularly rude

She's also changing the whole dynamic of the trip, so it will be her and 3 sets of her friends, and then you and Dublin. Not so much of a reunion!

You need to say very directly, I'm afraid I don't want to share a bedroom on holiday so that doesn't work for me. Don't play dumb or hint around, she will ignore it and then claim later you didn't say anything.

[TheBatKeeper]

Not a frgging chance, DH and I are going on holidays in June, three rooms, one for him, one for me, one for luggage.

Nobody is invited, your friend is a V V C F

[dreamingbohemian]

This has nothing to do with being American! Sorry to those of you who know one American who did this, it's not because they were American jeez.

[Dammitthisisshit]

I don’t think your being unreasonable… unless… when it was 6 of you sharing how were you splitting the cost? Were you expecting to pay 1/4 of the cost as you were taking one of the four bedrooms? In which case fair enough to want your own room. Or were you expecting everyone to share the cost equally so the couples were subsidising you in which case yabu.

[Topseyt123]

That would be a big fat NO from me.

Fine if they share the room with LA friend and her husband, sleeping on their floor for the entire week, but I suspect that isn't what they have in mind.

Put your foot down. This is changing the whole dynamic of the holiday. These people need their own separate accommodation nearby, not encroaching on yours. You all also need your own beds.

Maybe some might call me a party pooper, but I would still stand my ground on this.

[LovelyQuiche]

As someone who had to share a room with a snorer on a girls holiday I would insist that you need your own room

[Topseyt123]

@Gingefringe also has a good response. 🤣

[tomatoandherbs]

Op surely these friends “know” you and know you’d hate this?!

perhaps just busy and missed the point

how about suggesting a FaceTime rather than messaging to “chat about sleeping arrangements” and go from there

[grapewines]

Why is it that some people assume that just because you travel single you are just fine to share a room let alone a bed with other single friends? It's so rude.

Your LA friend is double rude to just invite random people along. Do you even know them?

This would piss me off. Speak up.

[tomatoandherbs]

Ultimately posting on mumsnet is not going to in any way tangibly sort the situation!
presumably very close friends
so respect that as friends of yours… no one will judge.

[ddl1]

YANBU. It's very unreasonable to expect you to share a bed with someone, especially if they hadn't mentioned it in advance.

[tomatoandherbs]

Oh and you’ve clearly got backbone if you got your own room in your twenties

so engage that backbone and TALK to your friends now

[CuddlyCactus]

Just breezily reply "sure. Not sure where they're going to sleep though. Are they ok with the sofa?"

If it's mentioned about you sharing a room just say" no, sorry can't. That's not going to work for me" And leave it at that.

Ignore any other messages about sleeping arrangements. It's for them to sort a solution not you

[ImInStealthMode]

YANBU at all. I'd want my own room, or the very least my own bed (and then a reduction in my contribution).

We stayed in a villa with friends some years ago and split the cost slightly unequally to take into account that the 2 single girls had to share a room (not a bed) with someone they don't ordinarily share a room with. They were inconvenienced when the couples weren't, so they paid a bit less per person than everyone else.

You need to nip this right in the bud now.

[tomatoandherbs]

There is no “unreasonable” when it comes to holiday preferences

am I unusual for despising camping when it seems that most of mumsnet leave and breathe it? No

am I unreasonable for bloody loving a five star AI and hardly leaving the resort for a week? No

is someone for loving the former and despising the latter? No

Similarly- your preference is for your own room on holiday. Someone else may be chilled about it. Neither right nor wrong.