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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask how I don’t be bitter this weekend?

694 replies

Dancingmoonlight · 23/04/2022 07:39

I’ve recently become friends with a girl I used to work with, we only worked together for six months and were friendly then, but have been spending some time together recently. Going for the odd cocktail etc. she’s always been nice enough.

She asked if I’d be interested in going to Berlin with her for the weekend, and I said yes. So here we are now and my issue is, my friend turned up with no money hardly. She turned up at the airport with 60 euros and only 7 pound for a four day trip. We have no food included in our room.

I wouldn’t have minded but she’s recently been on a 3 day night out, meals out, cinema and whatever else. Now we are in Berlin and she can’t afford anything and I’m having to subsidise us. Even at the airport with a 4 hour wait, she couldn’t even afford a coffee so I have had to cover it.

Now we are in Berlin, and she’s also so angry. If I go into a shop to look at anything or, if we go to a bar, it’s obvious she’s uncomfortable as she can’t afford anything and then it puts me on the spot. She’s also being very sweary and angry! This trip was her idea and she’s been abroad to European cities before so she knows they’re pricey.

Weve got two more nights and I honestly don’t know how to stop feeling so awkward. I brought enough money (280 euros) but it’s now draining so fast.

OP posts:
LookItsMeAgain · 27/04/2022 17:04

stiritwithaknife · 26/04/2022 15:13

OP stated it in past posts, which is what I'm going off. Not sure your point?

Show quote history

My point is that I'm sure that the OP has loaned more than she has stated on an internet chat board and because of that we don't have a running total of how much is actually owed. Nothing sinister going on. Just that we probably don't have 100% of the full picture going on here, financially.

MadeForThis · 28/04/2022 16:18

When are you due to see each other face to face again?

Original poster
Dancingmoonlight · 28/04/2022 18:46

Just wanted to update, she owed me in total with everything around 110 with everything combined from start to finish….and today she’s transferred me a total of drumroll 30.00.

I’ve messaged her to ask if she’s trying to do some weird instalment thing or whatever and no reply as of yet.

OP posts:
MinnieGirl · 28/04/2022 18:57

What a surprise…..

Luckymummytoone · 28/04/2022 18:57

Goodness!! The cheek! I’d be really blunt with her now and demand it back!! Xx

WTF475878237NC · 28/04/2022 18:59

Good for you for not letting it go as she hoped.

ScrumpyBetty · 28/04/2022 19:00

Keep messaging her and don't stop until you get the full amount.
The cheek of her!

Trudij123 · 28/04/2022 19:02

This is going to become “ I’ve got no money until next payday” and on and on isn’t it…. Don’t give up.

MzHz · 28/04/2022 19:02

Text her multiple times, EVERY. DAY.

don’t think for a second that you need to be polite about this

”you’ve been paid, you owe me £80, please transfer the rest now”

MzHz · 28/04/2022 19:03

Bug the bejesus out of her

MissPolliezDolly · 28/04/2022 19:05

Trudij123 · 28/04/2022 19:02

This is going to become “ I’ve got no money until next payday” and on and on isn’t it…. Don’t give up.

Don’t do this or she’ll block you.

Be the responsible adult and say that if she can’t repay you in one go you will settle for 3 payments of x amount monthly.

FOJN · 28/04/2022 19:07

I would not try to be polite or keep the peace now, your "friend" is taking the piss. I would text her telling her you expect to see the outstanding amount in your account by tomorrow, no please, no thank you, no sorry for asking.

BeforeGodAndAllTheFish · 28/04/2022 19:12

I think I know what she is doing.

The only money you actually handed her was the 35 euros. Up until that point, you were just paying for her stuff at the same time as yours.

I bet she is going to try and say that you only physically loaned her 35 euros. The rest of it was you offering to buy her food etc.

Do you still work with her? Can you speak to her in person at work and then follow up with a txt to say "just to confirm what we talked about..." so you've got something written down.

friendlycat · 28/04/2022 19:15

The problem is that anybody who had the gall to behave as she did initially turning up at the airport with insufficient money, then acting as she did on your break away was never going to act in an appropriate way on return.

It's just impossible to understand the mentality of her behaviour because nobody would behave like this. But she actually did !

It's just incredulous that there are people in this World who actually think it's OK to be like this. Sorry but I don't think you will see any more money out of her but obviously you should contact her with a firm demand for payment.

lonelyapple · 28/04/2022 19:31

Has she paid you back yet @Dancingmoonlight ?

gettingolderandgrumpy · 28/04/2022 19:44

Dancingmoonlight · 28/04/2022 18:46

Just wanted to update, she owed me in total with everything around 110 with everything combined from start to finish….and today she’s transferred me a total of drumroll 30.00.

I’ve messaged her to ask if she’s trying to do some weird instalment thing or whatever and no reply as of yet.

Oh dear god she really is the cf of cf’s . I must admit I’m surprised you’ve got anything she sounded the type to completely play the victim and pay nothing.

Scooby5kids · 28/04/2022 20:34

Dancingmoonlight · 28/04/2022 18:46

Just wanted to update, she owed me in total with everything around 110 with everything combined from start to finish….and today she’s transferred me a total of drumroll 30.00.

I’ve messaged her to ask if she’s trying to do some weird instalment thing or whatever and no reply as of yet.

Wow! What the hell? What is she playing at?

phizog · 28/04/2022 20:45

BeforeGodAndAllTheFish · 28/04/2022 19:12

I think I know what she is doing.

The only money you actually handed her was the 35 euros. Up until that point, you were just paying for her stuff at the same time as yours.

I bet she is going to try and say that you only physically loaned her 35 euros. The rest of it was you offering to buy her food etc.

Do you still work with her? Can you speak to her in person at work and then follow up with a txt to say "just to confirm what we talked about..." so you've got something written down.

I think this too. That's why she didn't discuss an installment plan with you.

Means she never ever planned to support herself in Berlin. If she can't afford 110 now, she never could and thought you'd bank roll her all the way.

Awful, odious woman.

BlueOverYellow · 28/04/2022 20:50

I can't say I'm surprised she's only sent you a fraction of what she owes you. A bit surprised she sent you anything and didn't block you, tbh! She really is an entitled little thing.

Stay on her in writing/text to get the rest of it.

GeorgesMarvelousCalpol · 28/04/2022 20:52

😲 😮omg, but why am I not surprised 😡

chubbachub · 28/04/2022 21:12

£30 for a weekend away in Berlin is fab. She must be chuffed!

Unbelievable

stiritwithaknife · 28/04/2022 21:20

I hope she's not sending you a small portion of what she owes you just so that she can then say she blocked you and didn't pay the rest because you started harassing her and were crazy and unreasonable, playing the victim. I guess she could be hedging her bets because you might be in touch other former coworkers.

I think maybe she's trying to string you along. You take it on good faith she's actually in the process of repaying you which keeps the relationship alive so she can extract more favours out of you.

Last possibility I can think of is she's angry and embarrassed by how it all went down and will grudgingly pay you back quietly without communication with repeated nudging to do the right thing. Then convince herself she ended the friendship because you were such a stick in the mud and made such a big deal out of nothing.

Original poster
Dancingmoonlight · 28/04/2022 21:46

Have messaged her twice, read and no response! I was expecting to be blocked tbh, but know if I keep going on now I’ll get blocked.

I thought about now I’m back in the uk, just going around and asking for it, but then again I’m not the bloody bailiffs and she lives in a flat so could easily just ignore the buzzer.

OP posts:
thingymaboob · 28/04/2022 21:55

@Dancingmoonlight choke it up to experience. I feel really sad that this happened to you whilst you were in Berlin, especially after all the covid restrictions. I hope you go on a nice holiday soon and can enjoy it

stiritwithaknife · 28/04/2022 22:06

You could swing round to your old workplace, if that's a possibility (depending on their security).

I'd say for now stick to weekly reminders. e.g. "when should I expect the next installment?" and don't let up. Not much effort on your part and the friendship is dead already so no worries there.