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Original poster

To ask how I don’t be bitter this weekend?

694 replies

Dancingmoonlight · 23/04/2022 07:39

I’ve recently become friends with a girl I used to work with, we only worked together for six months and were friendly then, but have been spending some time together recently. Going for the odd cocktail etc. she’s always been nice enough.

She asked if I’d be interested in going to Berlin with her for the weekend, and I said yes. So here we are now and my issue is, my friend turned up with no money hardly. She turned up at the airport with 60 euros and only 7 pound for a four day trip. We have no food included in our room.

I wouldn’t have minded but she’s recently been on a 3 day night out, meals out, cinema and whatever else. Now we are in Berlin and she can’t afford anything and I’m having to subsidise us. Even at the airport with a 4 hour wait, she couldn’t even afford a coffee so I have had to cover it.

Now we are in Berlin, and she’s also so angry. If I go into a shop to look at anything or, if we go to a bar, it’s obvious she’s uncomfortable as she can’t afford anything and then it puts me on the spot. She’s also being very sweary and angry! This trip was her idea and she’s been abroad to European cities before so she knows they’re pricey.

Weve got two more nights and I honestly don’t know how to stop feeling so awkward. I brought enough money (280 euros) but it’s now draining so fast.

OP posts:
3luckystars · 26/04/2022 12:59

Don’t badmouth her to anyone. Just forget about it and the money was worth it to get rid of the leech.

GoodSoup · 26/04/2022 13:12

Just send a simple text saying this is what you owe and bank details. She’ll be hoping you’ll forget about it. Don’t.

gettingolderandgrumpy · 26/04/2022 13:27

oh she’s a cf sitting there for 4 and half hours without a drink because she doesn’t want to use her card . You’ll never really know if she had money or not the whole weekend . She’s entitled cf ask for the money back but I wouldn’t hold my breath.

Wheresthebeach · 26/04/2022 13:51

I'm sorry you had this experience OP - it sucks when someone takes advantage of you. Its easy to sit at a keyboard and say 'don't put up with it' but harder when it's actually happening. Trying to force someone to hand over money they have no intention of giving you can be a nightmare. Keep at her, regularly and unemotionally for the money - seriously diarise a chase. I doubt she has any intention of paying you, and you'll end up blocking her and moving on. Hope you could salvage a bit of enjoyment.

Herejustforthisone · 26/04/2022 13:54

How much does she owe you, @Dancingmoonlight ?

AnnieSaxophone · 26/04/2022 13:55

I would send her a note ...

Now we’re back I’d like to ask you a question ...

‘What kind of person goes on holiday with another person without any money for food or drink? And then expects the other person to pay for your food and drink? And then doesn’t bend over backwards to repay the money they’ve been kindly loaned for food and drink the second their pay check has hit the bank’?

menaredis · 26/04/2022 14:02

So she has been paid now? Just message and say you're short till
Payday now as you had to cover her costs and can she transfer by the end of the day. No reason why she shouldn't be able to reasonably be able to do that.

Don't let her off lightly.

WimpoleHat · 26/04/2022 14:10

Her refusal to use her card at the airport just proves that she really didn't understand that the way she relied on you for financial aid was unacceptable

You see, I read that as demonstrating the exact opposite - that she knows exactly how financial things work and had therefore likely turned up with no money with malice aforethought. I’ve known people who are a bit scatty and chaotic with money, but they tend to be the “oh, I’ll just put it on this card as it’s an emergency” types, who then end up £40k in debt as the compound interest mounts up and bites them. I’d say she knew exactly what she was doing and that OP would have little practical option other than to bail her out to some extent.

RampantIvy · 26/04/2022 14:17

I wouldn't be rude to her or about her while she still owes you money. Just be matter of fact and ask her for what she owes you, and give her your bank details. I would keep reminding her politely that she owes money if it isn't forthcoming.

CecilyP · 26/04/2022 14:18

Totally agree, WimpoleHat. I think she’s moved from CF to conwoman territory!

Lilifer · 26/04/2022 14:20

Can't believe this thread is still running - it can be summed up and wrapped up as follows:

OP you've been a mug here and you won't be getting a penny of this money back. Learn from this and move on 🤷‍♀️

Original poster
Dancingmoonlight · 26/04/2022 14:24

Yes, I’ve sent her a WhatsApp with the total amount and my bank details, she’s read it but no response as predicted.

for those asking her why I didn’t make her get cash out at the airport etc. our flight was very delayed, I’d had a nightmare with our prepaid (luckily) transfers not being aware of the new time etc and it was a nightmare. Along with typical Ryanair issues.

I just wanted to get home if I was honest.

OP posts:
doadeer · 26/04/2022 14:35

Wow!!! She is another level.

OP you sound lovely, I hope you get the money back and this becomes a funny story about that nightmare trip to Berlin ❤️

Ahurricaneofjacarandas · 26/04/2022 14:36

I'm not a sinical person OP but I honestly think she planned this and I don't want to call you a mug but that shouldve been obvious from the minute the holiday started tbh. You won't be getting your money back. You've been had. Tell the CF how disgusting they are and let any associates know she can't be trusted then walk away

Aeroporto · 26/04/2022 14:37

I think people can stop saying OP won’t get a penny of her money back. It has been a lesson learnt but jeez what a way as another PP said to kick a woman when shes down. I have a slightly more optimistic view that there may be a small chance she repays you but HOUND her 😂 to make sure she does! I understand what you’re saying about the delays and am sorry overall it’s been a less than great trip as you expected until the end but I’d have been (insistent) suggesting CF logs into online banking to transfer what she owed when you were still in her company waiting around at the airport… she’d have had no excuse, shes been paid, it costs nothing to send a bank transfer and log into airport wifi quickly. I’d have offered my own phone for her to log into her online banking tbh and do all I could to get the £££ back when still with her.

She sounds like such a crap person, surprised she has many mates to do this type of thing with continuously tbh!

LookItsMeAgain · 26/04/2022 14:37

Dancingmoonlight · 26/04/2022 14:24

Yes, I’ve sent her a WhatsApp with the total amount and my bank details, she’s read it but no response as predicted.

for those asking her why I didn’t make her get cash out at the airport etc. our flight was very delayed, I’d had a nightmare with our prepaid (luckily) transfers not being aware of the new time etc and it was a nightmare. Along with typical Ryanair issues.

I just wanted to get home if I was honest.

So you follow up that WhatsApp message with another one tomorrow when the money hasn't reached your bank account. Tell her that you will give her to 10am on Thursday morning before you go down the route of the small claims court.

Do you happen to know any of her family? If you do, perhaps contact them asking if everything is alright as X has borrowed from you £££ and you've been trying to get it back and any thing that they can do to help here would really be appreciated.

Time to start finding your anger here!

Thejoyfulstar · 26/04/2022 14:39

She should be tripping over herself to repay you, full of gratitude and apologies.

GeorgesMarvelousCalpol · 26/04/2022 14:39

Good for you asking outright @Dancingmoonlight. Either she acknowledges her awful behaviour, pays you back and apologises profusely, or (and more likely), she'll ignore you and the friendship will end - I know where or I'd put my money!
Sorry you've been through this 💐

menaredis · 26/04/2022 14:59

Thejoyfulstar · 26/04/2022 14:39

She should be tripping over herself to repay you, full of gratitude and apologies.

An ounce of decency and you'd expect this wouldn't you. You would expect an early reminder from her to say don't worry I haven't forgotten I owe and and am paid on Tuesday. Followed by a request for her bank details without being asked so she can send the money over. Followed then by an I owe you one and some for of token of appreciation

I wish this for you op as it's no less than you deserve but I won't hold my breath.

stiritwithaknife · 26/04/2022 15:03

Honeyroar · 26/04/2022 09:27

She’s not going to give you the money back, you know that, but 35 euros is probably worth it to learn that she’s not worth it as a friend. I’d tell any mutual friends in case they ever get coerced into a funding situation with her. I’m sorry that your holiday was a let down. I hope you had a few good times while there.

(and @Herejustforthisone and @D0lphine)

I believe she owes OP €93 and £9 from previous posts.

I knew she'd refuse to use her card because of foreign transaction / access fees. And now I'll be surprised if she doesn't block OP, though perhaps she may figure if she just ignores OP for a while it'll be forgotten in a month and she can tap that resource again.

LookItsMeAgain · 26/04/2022 15:09

@stiritwithaknife - I don't think we know exactly how much the CF friend owes the OP here, but the OP does.

RampantIvy · 26/04/2022 15:09

I agree with Aeroporto that you need to constantly remind her about the money she owes you. I might feel inclined, if I knew her family/boyfriend to ask them to ask her to repay you as well.

stiritwithaknife · 26/04/2022 15:13

LookItsMeAgain · 26/04/2022 15:09

@stiritwithaknife - I don't think we know exactly how much the CF friend owes the OP here, but the OP does.

OP stated it in past posts, which is what I'm going off. Not sure your point?

stiritwithaknife · 26/04/2022 15:21

Aeroporto · 26/04/2022 14:37

I think people can stop saying OP won’t get a penny of her money back. It has been a lesson learnt but jeez what a way as another PP said to kick a woman when shes down. I have a slightly more optimistic view that there may be a small chance she repays you but HOUND her 😂 to make sure she does! I understand what you’re saying about the delays and am sorry overall it’s been a less than great trip as you expected until the end but I’d have been (insistent) suggesting CF logs into online banking to transfer what she owed when you were still in her company waiting around at the airport… she’d have had no excuse, shes been paid, it costs nothing to send a bank transfer and log into airport wifi quickly. I’d have offered my own phone for her to log into her online banking tbh and do all I could to get the £££ back when still with her.

She sounds like such a crap person, surprised she has many mates to do this type of thing with continuously tbh!

Certainly not a bad suggestion and others were saying to make sure she does it at the airport too, but this is how she would respond...

CF: I don't feel comfortable putting in my bank details on open wifi, it's not secure! Don't cause a scene! You'll get your money back tomorrow.

It's not that easy to extract money owed from a CF, so I don't think it would've changed things had OP done what you said instead of just wanting to get home without further unpleasantness.

Cattihorocks · 26/04/2022 15:56

She Isent a nice person..