Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say parenting is boring?

205 replies

BoredYummyMummy · 22/04/2022 20:05

I’m bored of; the shitty nappies, the crying, the whining, the coaxing to do absolutely everything, the cheery ‘well done’s’ as they do the same fucking thing agaiiiin, the infinite laundry, the tantrums, the streams of snot and oh my god I’m bored of fucking BING

Any sane human has to find the repetition bone achingly boring?

OP posts:
Youcansaythatagainandagain · 23/04/2022 11:10

No it’s just not something I’m that bothered about

We are fundamentally different then. I’m very concerned in getting the best education I can for DC.

Toloveandtowork · 23/04/2022 11:12

I think most of us don't know that the bonding hormones we release when we have a baby help us tolerate the boredom, and putting ourselves on hold while we care for a helpless other.
These hormones last 1-4 years.
Yet, we are culturally trained to believe it's ongoing and that women can naturally keep this intensity up.
Every creature on the planet is programmed to fulfill their own potential, but human mothers are encouraged to be the background while men and children explore their potential.
To get back to the boredom, it can be life sapping, it's the worst boredom I've experienced because escape from it is so hard because of relentless responsibility.
Yes, it's what you make it as all things are, and I continue to struggle towards fulfilling my own destiny.

Crikeyalmighty · 23/04/2022 11:23

I actually loved being a mum to my son under the age of about 8 -- I really found it a bit thankless past that .

Original poster
BoredYummyMummy · 23/04/2022 11:45

@TrippinEdBalls I don’t know who has upset you today, nor why you think it’s beneficial to tell a mother who is obviously in a temporary bored hole to suck it up. You’ve put words in my mouth or maybe projecting your experiences onto my situation. I haven’t said that they’re a burden at all, anywhere, they are my choice and like lots and lots of others have said 90% bored as fuck but worth it

either way, lots have disagreed with me on the thread but only you seem to be saying completely useless things 😂 I’m sorry you grew up in a time where women put up and shut up.

OP posts:
Original poster
BoredYummyMummy · 23/04/2022 11:46

Nah I don’t really care about schools either, some would wince at my secondary school yet I have done ok.

it’s definitely very important how the home environment engages with school and learning

OP posts:
Comedycook · 23/04/2022 11:46

I think most of us don't know that the bonding hormones we release when we have a baby help us tolerate the boredom, and putting ourselves on hold while we care for a helpless other.
These hormones last 1-4 years

I did not know that!

Yet, we are culturally trained to believe it's ongoing and that women can naturally keep this intensity up
Every creature on the planet is programmed to fulfill their own potential, but human mothers are encouraged to be the background while men and children explore their potential

Wow, this is so true.
My DC are 11/14...I still feel like I don't exist as a person. I facilitate the lives of my dc and dh. I sometimes feel like a robot who exists solely to perform a series of household tasks.

DoItAfraid · 23/04/2022 11:51

@BoredYummyMummy

It gets better. Mine are now 5 and 8 and I occasionally really enjoy their company .

I need to tell you that the constant “coaxing to do anything” has not improved much at all.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 23/04/2022 11:52

To be honest I think some women martyr themselves too much. My DS's needs always come first, but his wants don't always. I don't spend all my time doing only what he wants and never have. I am a person too.

Comedycook · 23/04/2022 11:55

driving with them asleep in the car, knowing I have them, is infinitely better than any holiday I ever took

Yikes...that's depressing.

Sofiegiraffe · 23/04/2022 11:59

Comedycook · 23/04/2022 11:55

driving with them asleep in the car, knowing I have them, is infinitely better than any holiday I ever took

Yikes...that's depressing.

I don't think she's saying that the act of driving with her kids in the car is better than being on holiday. I didn't take it this literally.

I took from it that the knowledge that she has her children, and the peace and happiness that brings for her, is a more fulfilling feeling than going on a holiday. I can relate to this, too.

Comedycook · 23/04/2022 12:05

I took from it that the knowledge that she has her children, and the peace and happiness that brings for her, is a more fulfilling feeling than going on a holiday. I can relate to this, too

I took it like that too and I still think it's depressing. It's that attitude that keeps women in their place and grateful for whatever shitty life they have because at least they have their kids and their kids are their world and no matter what amazing things you have done or experienced they are completely meaningless compared to having kids.

Giraffesandbottoms · 23/04/2022 12:09

I’m sorry you think it’s depressing - I certainly don’t. I’m extremely happy and fulfilled and Im grateful every day for the life I lead and the children I have. I don’t see why that’s depressing or why going on holiday should be someone less depressing than fulfilling my dreams. I think a lot of the viewpoints on this thread are depressing!

@Sofiegiraffe
thank you for understanding

Sofiegiraffe · 23/04/2022 12:10

Comedycook · 23/04/2022 12:05

I took from it that the knowledge that she has her children, and the peace and happiness that brings for her, is a more fulfilling feeling than going on a holiday. I can relate to this, too

I took it like that too and I still think it's depressing. It's that attitude that keeps women in their place and grateful for whatever shitty life they have because at least they have their kids and their kids are their world and no matter what amazing things you have done or experienced they are completely meaningless compared to having kids.

Or... for some women, that's just how it genuinely feels. Which is also OK.

Youcansaythatagainandagain · 23/04/2022 12:11

Comedycook · 23/04/2022 12:05

I took from it that the knowledge that she has her children, and the peace and happiness that brings for her, is a more fulfilling feeling than going on a holiday. I can relate to this, too

I took it like that too and I still think it's depressing. It's that attitude that keeps women in their place and grateful for whatever shitty life they have because at least they have their kids and their kids are their world and no matter what amazing things you have done or experienced they are completely meaningless compared to having kids.

I agree. It’s like brainwashing women to believe their lives are more fulfilling as a mother. I look at my siblings who don’t have kids and envy their lifestyles while mine is one of drudgery and worry.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 23/04/2022 12:12

Comedycook · 23/04/2022 12:05

I took from it that the knowledge that she has her children, and the peace and happiness that brings for her, is a more fulfilling feeling than going on a holiday. I can relate to this, too

I took it like that too and I still think it's depressing. It's that attitude that keeps women in their place and grateful for whatever shitty life they have because at least they have their kids and their kids are their world and no matter what amazing things you have done or experienced they are completely meaningless compared to having kids.

Why is that depressing if that's how someone genuinely feels? We all have different priorities and lives. I don't judge people who don't want children at all, so why judge people who think their children are the best thing that they ever did?

Waxonwaxoff0 · 23/04/2022 12:15

Youcansaythatagainandagain · 23/04/2022 12:11

I agree. It’s like brainwashing women to believe their lives are more fulfilling as a mother. I look at my siblings who don’t have kids and envy their lifestyles while mine is one of drudgery and worry.

Show quote history

You clearly dislike parenting. You're trying to make yourself feel better by pretending that everyone else secretly dislikes it to. I disliked parenting during the toddler years but I genuinely enjoy parenting my older primary age DC now. My life is great, not full of drudgery and worry. I'm sorry that yours is.

Comedycook · 23/04/2022 12:20

I know women with objectively shit lives....skint, overcrowded housing, nothing for themselves...yeah, they love their kids...we all do. They convince themselves that because they love their kids,their shit life is irrelevant. Do they believe this? Or have they just been conditioned to say this and accept any old shit because...drum roll please...they love their kids

pixie5121 · 23/04/2022 12:21

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at poster's request.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 23/04/2022 12:23

Comedycook · 23/04/2022 12:20

I know women with objectively shit lives....skint, overcrowded housing, nothing for themselves...yeah, they love their kids...we all do. They convince themselves that because they love their kids,their shit life is irrelevant. Do they believe this? Or have they just been conditioned to say this and accept any old shit because...drum roll please...they love their kids

Not everyone with kids has a shit life though. I don't have a shit life.

Sofiegiraffe · 23/04/2022 12:25

Why is that depressing if that's how someone genuinely feels? We all have different priorities and lives. I don't judge people who don't want children at all, so why judge people who think their children are the best thing that they ever did?

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Sofiegiraffe · 23/04/2022 12:30

I don't have a shit life either. I have a life that's amazing and genuinely fun and lovely at times, and fucking exhausting and hard work at other times. I experience both of those things largely because of my role as a mum. So whilst I recognise that if I didn't have DC my life would undoubtedly be less stressful at times, I also recognise that it wouldn't be half as fulfilled as it is now. Because my children are a massively significant contributing factor to my fulfilment in life. And that's genuine, not forced or because I feel I "should" feel like that.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 23/04/2022 12:32

Sofiegiraffe · 23/04/2022 12:30

I don't have a shit life either. I have a life that's amazing and genuinely fun and lovely at times, and fucking exhausting and hard work at other times. I experience both of those things largely because of my role as a mum. So whilst I recognise that if I didn't have DC my life would undoubtedly be less stressful at times, I also recognise that it wouldn't be half as fulfilled as it is now. Because my children are a massively significant contributing factor to my fulfilment in life. And that's genuine, not forced or because I feel I "should" feel like that.

Absolutely. People on this thread are clearly trying to make themselves feel better about their own situation by imagining all these fictional "shit" lives. What a race to the bottom. It's almost shameful to say you're happy nowadays!

Toloveandtowork · 23/04/2022 12:37

Well, if you say you're not loving it, bringing up kids, you automatically open yourself to the judgement of others. If they don't empathise, and in doing so, sooth your negative feelings, up comes guilt and shame. Social control.

I get it that some people do love bringing up kids though.

Comedycook · 23/04/2022 12:44

Thing is you rarely hear men say this kind of stuff do you? Yes I know loads of men who truly love their kids and would do anything for them... including my DH but you don't really hear them say that their life was meaningless before they had kids or gush that their kids are their world....it is social control. Women are conditioned to believe that their lives are worthless without children and that they must love every single moment and if they don't, they're a bad mother. Keeps us in our place

Waxonwaxoff0 · 23/04/2022 12:46

Toloveandtowork · 23/04/2022 12:37

Well, if you say you're not loving it, bringing up kids, you automatically open yourself to the judgement of others. If they don't empathise, and in doing so, sooth your negative feelings, up comes guilt and shame. Social control.

I get it that some people do love bringing up kids though.

I wouldn't shame anyone for not loving it. The utter drudge of the baby and toddler years is why I only stuck with one child. It's the insistence that women only enjoy it because they're "conditioned" to, or are lying if they say they do enjoy it, is what gets me. It's just projection.

We're all different. Some people wanted kids but now regret having them, some people are desperate to have kids but can't, some people wanted kids and love parenting more than anything else they've ever done, some people hated certain stages of parenting and enjoyed others, some people couldn't imagine anything worse than having kids. We could all do with being a bit more accepting of each others feelings and choices.