Rehoming cat as DH hates him?

[Terribleguiltovercat]

I had the cat when I met DH which was a few years ago and DH just hates him and constantly complains about him and it’s really getting to me.

We have a young child or I would rethink the whole relationship tbh. But I can’t live like this.

Is he always a twat?

Who do you think is going to rehome an elderly and slightly smelly cat?

There are do many threads on here accusing men of misogyny, and here is everyone telling a woman to put a cat befote her husband!

I'd say the same if it were two women.

All these responses casually telling you to leave your child's father instead of rehome your cat. Unbelievably shit advice. What would you tell your child? Yes, you could either keep your dad or I could keep my cat so I obviously chose the cat. Find the cat a good home where everybody wants a cat. Do not break up your family because some idiots think it is ok to advise a stranger to wreck their child's life rather than change their cat's life.

YABU to punish cat for DH shitty behaviour. Tell
him to shut the fuck up!

We had our elderly incontinent cat PTS when our baby became mobile. I think any responsibke parent would do the same

It would be easier to rehome the H. I guess he is not that old and smelly yet. Honestly what are the chances of rehoming an old smelly cat? The cat was with you first. Your H knew it and married you. Please don't rehome your cat. He/she is your cat. When you have a pet, you look after them till the end.

But OP has not mentioned their cat being incontinent. Their DH is constantly sending them bullshit articles about cats killing babies etc.

@Ohmygoshyoudontsay but it really isn't about a cat - it's about a DH nagging and nagging and commenting and manipulating the OP until she is worn down.

When the cat is gone - what will he try control next?

But OP hasn't said her cat is incontinent.

In all honesty it isn't really an either or situation - the OP just needs to tell her DH that he needs to STFU about the cat and then everyone move on.

No chance, ive been with my Dh 15 years and i got my cats 5/6 years ago. Im 90% sure hes mildly allergic to them (sneezing) and its tough, hell be rehomed before i rehome them. Theyre indoor so harder to avoid them but he does and i just ignore him when he whinges theyve done this that or the other but he ignores the dog eating everyones stuff except his🙄

Please have your cat put to sleep rather than attempt to rehome. If he is so elderly that he is smelly then there's hardly going to be a long list of people wanting him and a change of home (especially as it would be to a cat rescue for quite some time, probably until they put him to sleep) at that time of life would be awful.

Personally I would keep the cat, would tell 'D'H to STFU every time he 'chipped away' and point out that this is a good time for him to work on his tolerance levels as sometimes during life both he, you and your child will doubtless be irritating and, sometimes, smelly, and it's good for him to practise those skills.

It's more messed up that OP's husband moved in with her and married her knowing she has a cat, and is now trying to manipulate her into getting rid of her beloved pet.

If you don't like cats, don't marry someone with a cat. It's not rocket science, surely?🙄

Needs a firm discussion. The cat was with you before DH. He knew that was the situation and it would be unfair to re-home now. He doesn't have to interact with the cat. Many people have cats in homes with babies - if he's worried he can look into ways to minimise risk, eg not allowing the cat access to the upstairs or putting the cat outside if the baby is napping.

Then you need to say you won't be discussing the situation further.

There are do many threads on here accusing men of misogyny, and here is everyone telling a woman to put a cat befote her husbamd!

The sex of the people involved is irrelevant. As a PP pointed out we'd be telling OP to get a grip if the argument was over getting a cat but this cat predates the husband. He married OP knowing she was a cat owner and is now nagging her to get rid of it. It does not paint him in a very good light. The OP also says she'd end the marriage if they didn't have a child which suggests his dickish behaviour isn't limited to the cat.

Should add, my DH doesn't like our cat. They just mutually ignore each other.

You have a pet, you have a responsibility. You don’t just get rid because your partner doesnt like them! Tough shit! My partner is not a cat fan either - I said love me, love my pets, or alternatively FO because they were here first. Tell him to shut up, and refuse to discuss it - the cat stays!

Have you asked him to stop raising the issue of the cat, Op?

I’ve asked him and it works for a while and then starts again.

Ditch the husband. Not the cat. Is he going to ask how you get rid of the kid when he/she becomes too annoying as well??? (Only half-joking.)

Start sending him links to articles about husbands killing children.

Tell don't ask.

I'm not asking you to please stop going on about the cat, I'm telling you I'm fucked off listening to your bullshit about the cat. Cut it out now.

Tell him to stop moaning or he can leave, the cat was there first.

I have a cat but I’m not sure I could live with a house cat due to the smell, my cat doesn’t smell at all even though he’s getting older, I love cats but I hate going into peoples houses when they have cats that do not go outside, I can always smell it how ever much they say they clean up after it.

I hate cats too but if I became involved with someone who had a moggy I wouldn't wait until my feet were under the table and then start whining about it.

You've made a commitment to your pet. Tell your husband that he's made his point but he should now keep schtum as the cat is staying until the end of its days. Tell DH that he's in awful danger of becoming a bore. And no one wants to fuck a bore.