Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you were the weird girl in school

210 replies

likemindedarseholes · 17/04/2022 18:50

Do you still feel like the weird one?
I think I will always feel different. I don't dislike the feeling.
I go between thinking that perhaps everyone is weird in their own ways and feeling that maybe a lot of people enjoy things that I don't. I don't feel any superiority that I don't enjoy mainstream music or normal clothes. It's just different preferences.
I worry sometimes that my kids will not be weird. And that I won't be able to relate their childhood or teenage experience. That's all

OP posts:
dolor · 25/11/2022 20:34

I was the weird creature, yes.

Iamtheonwandlonely · 25/11/2022 20:36

I look back and I do place a lot of the blame with my parents.
Never being allowed out,I feel I missed all the fun.
I was an only child and my DM was very over protective.

I was bullied an awful lot is secondary school.
But I don't help my self as I shaved off all my hair.
But I do look back proud that at least I was ballsy and sid things out of the norm.

AdditionalCharacter · 25/11/2022 20:37

Yes, still am. I'm almost certain I'm on the ASD spectrum and would have been classed as having Asperger's as a child if it was more widely diagnosed way back in the 80s.

crackofdoom · 25/11/2022 21:09

I was in primary- and, like a PP, the fact that it was boys doing the bullying has contributed to my lifelong distrust of men.

But then I went to an all girls grammar school, and it was spod heaven. All kinds of geekiness and weirdness flourished unchecked, and I was cherished as the class eccentric.(ASD diagnosis in my mid 40s)

This is why, even as a raging socialist, I still support grammar schools. Saved my fucking life.

5128gap · 25/11/2022 21:22

likemindedarseholes · 17/04/2022 18:58

@DiscoStusMoonboots same, black metal, poetry reading ex- goth here. Still wearing all black and listening to Sonic Youth in my kitchen on a hot day.

This is really not weird. There were probably more angsty goths than not amongst the teens I've known. Almost compulsory to be 'different' in the same way as everyone else.
Now, wearing your dead grandads three piece suits and listening to Max Bygraves like a lad in my class, that was weird.

Freefromeverything · 25/11/2022 21:23

Yes and it turned out i am autistic. I was labelled as weird pretty much from day 1 and struggled so much. Primary was bad. Secondary was hell. Adult life hasn’t been much better

Artygirlghost · 25/11/2022 22:29

Yes. I was the weird, book-loving, odd-looking quiet kid that other people picked on.

I am still weird, I became an artist & these days I enjoy being different and I have lived an unusual life.

Mummadeze · 25/11/2022 22:36

I honestly think everyone is weird in some way or another. I always tried to be popular and thought I mostly fitted in but recently my colleague said to me she thinks I am ‘bloody weird’. It made me laugh as I actually think she is weird too. I mean who isn’t really?

DorritLittle · 26/11/2022 00:01

Same, @Mummadeze. I was a popular crowd hanger onner and one of them told me she thought I was weird. And I was. But it was mainly nerves/awkwardness. I am still like this in crowds tbh.

Lannielou · 26/11/2022 00:10

Yep was weird, goth, book worm, couldn't understand social norms. Now nearly 50 and still weird. Fairly certain I am autistic, my kids are definitely individual

BomboChipolata · 26/11/2022 04:51

This thread is throwing up some interesting questions. There’s a massive majority on this thread for people to declare themselves weird. Is this because

a) the Mumsnet demographic is ‘weird’
b) this thread is attracting ‘weird’ people
c) do most people, even the popular kids , inwardly feel ‘weird’?

sashh · 26/11/2022 05:25

I'm another wierdo.

I also think I'm autistic.

I once heard autism being described as, "You are either the only person in the room who gets it, or you are the only person in the room who doesn't"

the80sweregreat · 26/11/2022 08:49

I found it hard as an adult to fit in , especially with other women.

JaninaDuszejko · 26/11/2022 09:08

A mix of b and c I'd say. I do think it's entirely normal to feel slightly out of touch with other people most of the time and once you accept that it's normal life becomes easier. Having a few less common passions doesn't make you weird, although it might feel like it as a child. But the kids who make fun of you for liking campanology are probably just intimidated because you've given them a glimpse into a world they know nothing about and that makes them feel weird themselves.

lljkk · 26/11/2022 11:14

There’s a massive majority on this thread for people to declare themselves weird.

You need to get out more, Girl. Shouldn't surprise anyone to find out That the Internet is full of Loners & Weirdos. Mind, threads asking "were you X?
I want sympathy for being X" never get many "No I wasn't X" replies.

I was wondering if "everyone" on thread had autism or ADHD, but actually I think the largest group are the "weird for no specific reason" not "weird because of ..." responses.

BomboChipolata · 26/11/2022 11:44

You need to get out more, Girl. Shouldn't surprise anyone to find out That the Internet is full of Loners & Weirdos.

Shouldn’t that be I need to stay in more? Wink

thelobsterquadrille · 26/11/2022 12:29

Yes, I was the weirdo.

Turns out I have autism.

BoardLikeAMirror · 26/11/2022 12:38

I'm another who was the school weirdo, bullied relentlessly - it was awful, everyone in a school of 1000+ pupils knew who I was and that I was a target, even if they weren't personally part of the bullying. It was like being some kind of celebrity of weirdness.

No one in authority cared much, back in those days you were just given useless advice such as 'keep out of their way' (when people follow you around calling you names and doing 'impressions' of you, that's really not helpful). More than 30 years after leaving school, I was diagnosed as autistic.

HarlanPepper · 26/11/2022 12:53

Me! Although when I had to change schools because my dad lost his job, things got much better for me. I went to a private girls' school from the age of 10-13 and it was the unhappiest time of my life. I had a disastrous first day which marked my card for the rest of my time there. I was deeply unpopular, probably quite smelly because both my parents smoked and I only had one bath a week, and I basically lived in an imaginary world at an age where that was no longer socially acceptable.

I did have one or two friendships but in general I was largely shunned by the other girls in my year. The feelings of shame and self-loathing I developed then have never entirely left me, although as I mentioned, I did have a better time in my next school - I think a fresh start, being that bit older, developing more of a sense of popular culture etc - all helped.

Snaketime · 26/11/2022 13:07

I was the weird kid at school. I liked metal music, band hoodies, dark clothing, dark make-up, gothic necklaces and a love of horror/gore . I'm still the weird one, I don't wear the same clothes (due to weight gain and lack of funds to buy more) I still listen to the same music though and still love horror films.

Badgirlriri · 26/11/2022 13:12

BomboChipolata · 26/11/2022 04:51

This thread is throwing up some interesting questions. There’s a massive majority on this thread for people to declare themselves weird. Is this because

a) the Mumsnet demographic is ‘weird’
b) this thread is attracting ‘weird’ people
c) do most people, even the popular kids , inwardly feel ‘weird’?

Definitely.

I also think this shows most responses on threads should be taken with a pinch of salt as a lot of posters are identifying as ASD/ADHD so won’t typically have NT responses. Explains why there’s so many LTB.

Furrybutts · 26/11/2022 13:23

Never fitted in anywhere until recently and I'm 53!

At primary school I was 'odd' because I didn't like children. I am only child and wasn't socialised prior to school.
At high school I was odd because I wasn't very interested in boys. I liked horses and my hobbies.

Always tried to be kind, generous spirited and friendly all through my life, but was always the 'awkward' one.

I have only a couple of friends, but lots of acquaintances, and work colleagues I get on really well with.

I'm happy with my life and it's lack of social engagements.

BoardLikeAMirror · 26/11/2022 13:24

I also think this shows most responses on threads should be taken with a pinch of salt as a lot of posters are identifying as ASD/ADHD so won’t typically have NT responses. Explains why there’s so many LTB.

I think it's a bit of a stretch to draw that conclusion from one thread. The title of the thread is not likely to attract posters coming on to say, 'No, I was a typical child of my era and reasonably popular at school'. There might be elements of A. B andC. to this thread.

I see no reason why ND people are more likely to give out LTBs than NT people. If you are a ND person reading about a relationship between NT people, if anything you are likely to be more cautious about giving drastic advice.

balalake · 26/11/2022 13:25

I was not.

About 15 years after leaving school I met the one who was at the time was seen as the weird one. Who was having a successful career and about to get married.

ColinRobinsonsfamiliar · 26/11/2022 13:25

No I wasn’t but was strangely drawn to the weird kids in my classes. I felt safe somehow with them.
Their world seemed quiet, lonely and calm. I liked that. I made wonderful friends with the loveliest weird kids at every school I was moved to.

Growing up in the 70’s I was constantly in survival mode. (Abuse/DV/Poverty etc) so I clung to anyone who didn’t pose me any threat or harm.

I will forever be grateful to the weird kids I met growing up, don’t underestimate your powers.