To ask if you were the weird girl in school

[likemindedarseholes]

Do you still feel like the weird one?
I think I will always feel different. I don't dislike the feeling.
I go between thinking that perhaps everyone is weird in their own ways and feeling that maybe a lot of people enjoy things that I don't. I don't feel any superiority that I don't enjoy mainstream music or normal clothes. It's just different preferences.
I worry sometimes that my kids will not be weird. And that I won't be able to relate their childhood or teenage experience. That's all

Not sure if I was "wierd" but definitely the odd one out, always left out of things, forgotten about, ignored in group conversations, just a general feeling of not belonging, and unfortunately at 45 it's still the same, people turn their backs on me so easily, I'm a good friend apparently, always caring, ready to help anyone yet I always seem so easy to forget 🤔

This is me. I put into every collection socially, and then don't get invited on walks, drinks in the pub etc.
Good enough for some things, but not others. and i know I'm not a bad person.

It's just shite, even more so now I've had a baby, no one even wants to meet up if I even get a reply to messages.

I've aways been weird and embarrassingly remember telling some new people I'd met that I wasn't disabled I was just a bit odd. I felt THAT odd and thought they would see me as really disabled that I felt the need to clarify. I now have a son with autism and adhd who is just like me and now my childhood 'oddness' makes complete sense.

Weirdo here! Actually got called a weirdo at uni - not to my face but one of my few friends told me most of my year were out, obviously without me, and talked about my final year project and how it would fail (unfortunately they were right) and how I was a weirdo and really odd. At that point I could go a whole day with no one talking to me.

Truth is, from primary I got bullied and it just stuck with me. Secondary I wasn't outright bullied just taken the piss out of. I wasn't clever, just short and dorky with puppy fat. I liked rock and sci-fi. Early on I had someone come up and tell me to go away and no one liked me. I did have some friends but my best friend left me to join the popular gang. Towards the end I found my tribe, but then I went to uni and eventually those feelings of inadequacy all crept back after I split up with my first boyfriend, and I closed off for a while, but then no one bothered with me. I had a boyfriend on another course but to my peers I was shunned.

Today I have my old school tribe, and a good group of mum friends. But I do find it hard in new groups of people. I get more upset than I should really if no one speaks to me or I feel left out.

But on the whole, I'm good. And I still like my rock and sci-fi

Yes I was the loner arty kid. I was also the only kid that dressed ‘goth’. I think I was a bad fit for the area I grew up in, it was very snobby. Since mixing with other people & living in other places I’ve met lots of other people on my wavelength.

Yep this was and is me. Always feel I’m making people uncomfortable by being a bit strange. Also I’m really quite ugly so that doesn’t help. I’m very successful at my job but people are inevitably really surprised when they find out what I do as they assume I’m stupid.

I do have a couple of friends I’ve known since school who tolerate me!

Whenever there’s a thread on here about people that give you the creeps/ people you instinctively don’t like I think that’s what people think of me. I’ve honestly never knowingly hurt anyone in my life and I do masses for other people but I just give off a sinister vibe I think.

I wasn't quirky. I wasn't popular and I wasn't a nerd. I was that kid that you could slot in anywhere and be OK. I didn't get fashion and I had a bit of crop background growing up. I was quiet. Not a rule breaker. I had friends but also happy alone. I didn't really have a best friend. I wouldn't have been missed if I wasn't there if youbsee what I mean. But didn't have any trouble in secondary school. I don't want to say invisible, but yeah invisible. Still feels like that now to be honest. Don't particularly hate it. Dislike it at times and love it at other times

Not really but I was friendly with the weird girl, not like best mates but I was always kind to her and tried to include her or chat to her. I had a terrible up bringing so I was the poor kid and also the abused one. I was also the pretty one, so all in a key target for bullies.

A couple of girls tried to bully me, they came at me once, backed off fast and never tried it again, I was surprisingly vicious. no one else tried. I took it at home but there was no way I’d take it at school. I surprised even myself at how vicious and violent I could be and so very quickly. Bullies shit themselves when you fight back without hesitation and go one better.

so I wasn’t the popular girl and I wasn’t the weird one, I did have lots of friends, but I guess I was different. You knew I was different. From my crappy clothes to my demeanour.

I suspect I was.

Not so much now. I think I’m very heavily masked these days. No deliberately but I seem to fit in more.

Yes was the 'weirdo' at the 3 schools I went to. Bullied at each. Always seemed immature compared to peers and never fitted in. I'd have obsessional interests and got excluded from socialising. I spent almost all my breaks/ lunchtimes alone. Never knew how to dress fashionably.

Adulthood wasn't much better.

Have ASD diagnosis now. It all makes sense. But it's sad too. I think/ hope it's easier for ASD kids these days.

I think you can tell that most posters on mumsnet were the weird kids.

Yes and I was bullied for years. I had a few friends, some ditched me because being associated made them a target. I didn't like it, it pushed me into a really dark place that I'm still not really over 20 years later.

As an adult I'm still 'odd' but comfortable enough that I have friends and am happy. Strongly suspect ASD/ADHD which explains a lot, I've learned to mask well so when I need to can 'pass'... it's a bit of a running joke with my close friends how awkward I am, all good natured though and they understand that if I'm uncomfortable I'll leave, there are times I just need to be alone and other times I will talk their ears off about something niche or weird.

As a child/teen the pressure to fit in was immense. As an adult you can choose who you surround yourself with and find more accepting people.

I hope my dc fully embrace who they are and don't change just to blend into a crowd. My 7yo dd is science obsessed, loves reading and writes her own stories (complete with illustrations) that she makes into books for her brother.

Well yes - that’s true of online communities generally. Lots of ND people find it easier to deal with online interactions than with real life ones. Are you trying to make some sort of point?

Haven’t RTFT yet, but this comment really resonated with me. I was a bit ‘weird’ at school - not interested in the same things as the other girls, felt a bit out of place in friendship groups, and was your typical geeky swot (with glasses and braces) in secondary school who was also into grunge / Britpop rather than Take That (early 90s). I did have a few friends and wasn’t particularly bullied apart from some name-calling. DH says he was similarly a bit of an outcast.

My experience means that I’m making an effort to encourage my DD (age 7) with friendships, socialising, and getting on with people in general, and I know I was lacking in those skills. Obviously most parents will do this anyway, but I’m aware that with both DH and I being a bit different/ socially awkward, she might need more encouragement and help.

DH and I are basically your typical science-fiction loving geeks, but are probably just generally socially awkward rather than being ND. Not sure about DD - I have some concerns about possible ND but nothing definite.

Just to even it out a bit, I don’t think I was the weird kid at school

I was. But only because I was a smart girl in a small rural school who shocked people because I didn't just want to get married to a successful farmer. No-one thought I was weird at university and at work I'm considered to be a really good manager with excellent people skills. Just because you are weird at school doesn't mean that will always be the case.

I was always called weird, looking back I really don't think I was particularly weird though. When I was young we moved to a small village full of people who all look/think/speak/dress the same, like the same things/hobbies etc and anybody who dares to actually have their own minds is automatically a weirdo!

Yup. Weird kid in school. More intelligent than it was cool to be, and stood so little chance of being cool that I stopped giving a shit and embraced being a swot.

I live in a totally different part of the country now, but I'm still the village weirdo. I absolutely do not care. People who like me have to have the presence of mind to to go against the clique. Its a good way of filtering out the dullards.

As you mentioned in your OP, I do have a child who isn't a weirdo. He's a popular, sporty, sociable kid. I find THAT really weird! I can't relate to his experience at school at all. Sometimes I struggle to parent someone who's relationship with the world is so different to mine. But that's the job of a parent. Long may his happiness at school continue.

Yes, I was the school eccentric, and I remain eccentric to this day. I had a brief spell of being just "weird" at university, but I now largely solicit the friendship of other eccentrics and I fit in better.

Looking back to my time at school there were LOADS of weird kids, not just one! I was a bit weird in that I was very quiet and a bit dopey. Still had lots of friends. Weird kids find their tribe. As an adult I've come to realise nearly everyone's a little weird. You just don't see it when you're young because you're so self conscious and self focused.
Out of all the people I know I think there are 2 that don't seem weird in any way at all. Everyone else is a bit odd!

I was a weird kid in school, I had the same group of friends throughout though so even if everyone else didn't 'get' me I still had friends. I didn't start making new friends until much later on when I was 16+ once people started seeing eccentricity as cool rather than weird and a lot of the meaner people left school at 16.

I was what they called a spod. Kind of bespectacled geek, with added rabid Christianity mixed with nascent homosexuality. A heady mix! Sadly, many of us are now getting caught up in the gender nonsense. Have a read of this article - talk about lightbulb moment!
funkypsyche.substack.com/p/the-archetypal-ftm-sensitive-quirky

I was a weird kid. Not the weirdest but certainly weird. My parents were deeply religious and very controlling. We weren't allowed to watch much TV and certainly not things like Grange Hill, Top of the Pops or Dr. Who. I was once beaten by my mum for switching on Dr. Who (Peter Davison) and watching it with the sound off while she was out of the room. I was often told that I would burn for eternity in hell if I behaved in certain ways. Life revolved around church with daily Bible study at the family breakfast table. That was what made me weird.

I'm me now, free thinking and happy to risk the lake of eternal fire and sulphur for the sake of a good life. But I'm sad for the weird little girl that I used to be.