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Original poster

Friends mean about my new house

350 replies

Mellowyellow222 · 17/04/2022 18:38

I invited a group of women I went to school with to my new house for lunch and some afternoon drinks.

I have been reacting to invite them because I moved to a nearby city which is a thirty minute drive from our home town where they all live.

I am so proud of my new home - it has a lovely large garden and is very close to a beautiful park.

When I have been invited to see friends new homes I have been genuinely pleased for them and complimentary. I am really hurt today that all I got was negative comments.

A few friends who brought their husbands openly discussed how much I paid for the house and even went on the internet to show each other what you can but in our home town for that money. I heard one laughing and saying they saw her coming.

The comments were all negative, comparing it to our home town (which is lovely) and saying I was crazy. I do t think anyone said congratulations- there were some neat rap comments like the garden is much bigger than I thought but really it was just a bit mean spirited.

I am single and worked so hard to get this. I live it and sometimes have to pinch myself that it is actually mine. I used to walk along this street and fantasise about living here.

I know it’s just a house to them - and I know they all have lovely homes themselves. But why couldn’t they even fake it? They just kept telling me how great our home town is - and comments like oh I couldn’t live in an attached house. One even asked me if her car was safe in my driveway!!!!

So I guess my question is am I being unreasonable to expect my friends to pretend they like my new house!

OP posts:
tiredanddangerous · 17/04/2022 19:02

They are not your friends they are nasty mean cunts. Ditch them and make some lovely new friends near your lovely new house.

Moochio · 17/04/2022 19:02

They sound nasty

Original poster
Mellowyellow222 · 17/04/2022 19:02

@SScoobiedoo

Have their careers gone well, are their marriages happy?, what's their finances like- I suspect they have underlying issues.
I probably have the most successful career. But my love life is a car crash (or an empty country Lane😂), and I have had some struggles with work and stress - which I have been pretty open about.

Some have husbands, some have kids, one divorced, two are single. We have all taken different paths with different highs and lows.

OP posts:
Britneysy · 17/04/2022 19:04

They sound horrible! I have friends who are the same so I’m trying to make new friends. I don’t think it’s jealousy about the house, it’s that you’re doing something different by living in the city and being single. I’ve noticed people take it as a personal snub if you don’t follow the standard path in life and they do, even if you’re supportive and happy for them.
Leave them behind and make new friends. Anything other than congratulations for a new house, baby or marriage is rude.

grotsnags · 17/04/2022 19:04

@gardenhelpneeded hence why I asked for clarification, did you not see the bit I quoted?!

LivingDeadGirlUK · 17/04/2022 19:04

Congratulations on your new home OP. I had similar with mine and a certain family member, now they are always asking when I'm planning on moving!

FrodisCapering · 17/04/2022 19:05

They actually sound bitter and jealous.

Enjoy your new home!

Lindy2 · 17/04/2022 19:05

They sound very rude. I'm glad you have other friends who are nicer.

Enjoy your lovely new home and city life.

grotsnags · 17/04/2022 19:05

I’ve noticed people take it as a personal snub if you don’t follow the standard path in life and they do, even if you’re supportive and happy for them.

Exactly

mathanxiety · 17/04/2022 19:07

They're jealous and they hate the fact that you moved away from the home town where they are still living, and will probably spend their whole lives.

Make new friends in your new town.

Gilly12345 · 17/04/2022 19:08

Time to move on from this group of ‘friends’.

They sound jealous and extremely rude.

You don’t need such negativity in your life and they should be happy for you and what you have achieved.

grapewines · 17/04/2022 19:08

@krustykittens

You left, they didn't. They see it as a criticism and are trying to pull you down a peg or two. You don't need this shit. Not everyone who comes up with you can go with you. Drop them and find proper friends, don't hang around with people out of habit.
Great advice.
VioletVesper · 17/04/2022 19:09

Congratulations on your new house OP!
Ignore your so called ‘friends’.

Original poster
Mellowyellow222 · 17/04/2022 19:09

Thanks all. I feel better now! The house was beautiful - I had the party catered (I cannot cook). I just feel a bit deflated.

My friend form uni came the bay after I moved and was brilliant - loved the house and was so complementary. Like a normal person.

I am just shocked none of my old school friends could be happy for me. I think back to all the housewarmings and weddings and baby parties I have rocked up at with gifts and good wishes. This was mine - and they couldn’t bring themselves to be happy for me.

OP posts:
Grapewrath · 17/04/2022 19:09

Your friends are cunt. New house, new friends

ZenNudist · 17/04/2022 19:10

Not friends, find some actual friends. Rude and nasty.

mathanxiety · 17/04/2022 19:10

They are also jealous that you're single. My guess is that the blahs have set in in many of their marriages. They see you making your own decisions about money you earned all by yourself and they compare you with their own lot in life .

FabFitFifties · 17/04/2022 19:11

Glad you have other friends, and now the chance to make more in your new neighbourhood. You have outgrown this lot. Congratulations on your home 🥂

planetme · 17/04/2022 19:11

[quote Mellowyellow222]@planetme that is so familiar. One of my bedrooms is converted into a dressing room - which I love. Two friend announced it was a bloody cheek to describe it as a four bedroom house when one was just a cupboard!! I laughter it off - and said it’s my favourite room in the house. Quite a luxury for me. She struggled and walked into the next room.

I bloody love this house. I know I could buy a huge house in my home town for the money - but that’s not what I want. It works for them - it wouldn’t work for me!

It’s actually a really good neighbourhood- quite sought after - and crime isn’t a big issue. Wish her bloody Audi had got keyed 😂😂[/quote]
In my case I think my friends preferred it when I had nothing. I am from a working class background and have struggled all my life.
I've been through a lot, experienced domestic violence, been divorced, been a single parent and I was declared homeless at one point. But I worked hard to get where I am. But I suspect they've always seen me as a bit common (I am common actually and proud of that fact) honestly think they didn't like it that I had improved my lot and was no longer "in my place"

But anyway your house sounds absolutely beautiful

And also it's a bloody fantastic achievement to have bought a house on your own. Especially in this current climate.

Honestly your friends are rude assholes 😞 I think I'd have to distance myself a bit, I did mine. In fact one I no longer speak to but there is a lot of reasons for that

planetme · 17/04/2022 19:12

@mathanxiety

They are also jealous that you're single. My guess is that the blahs have set in in many of their marriages. They see you making your own decisions about money you earned all by yourself and they compare you with their own lot in life .
Yes agree ! I think a lot of people are bored shitless in their marriage

I get a bit jealous of my single friends tbh ! And im fairly happily married now

MarshmallowSwede · 17/04/2022 19:12

Your friends are assholes and you need to tell them they are assholes.

Not only is it rude. It’s absolutely uncouth and I’m extremely poor taste to behave they way they did.

Don’t invite them over again and maybe rethink if you want friends like this.

Real friends are happy and congratulate you on success and wins. This smacks of jealousy and people having their heads so far up their ass that they can’t even extend a nice word to another.

LittleRedRidingHood187 · 17/04/2022 19:13

They aren't friends and I find it interesting that in your first paragraph you refer to them as women you went to school with

If they were friends you would surely refer to them as that. I think you know they aren't friends really. They are jealous and nasty, dump them

Lunificent · 17/04/2022 19:13

How spiteful of them to openly laugh at your choice. They are not your friends.
I wouldn’t see them again.

JDEE72 · 17/04/2022 19:14

You need new friends.

Ditch them.

They sound snobbish and cruel.

Congratulations on your home, I hope you have many happy years there ♥️🧁

Overthinking22 · 17/04/2022 19:14

"Friends" As above that reeks of jealousy. Even if the place was a dive friends would point out the positive aspects and show support. Dicks.