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Original poster

Friends mean about my new house

350 replies

Mellowyellow222 · 17/04/2022 18:38

I invited a group of women I went to school with to my new house for lunch and some afternoon drinks.

I have been reacting to invite them because I moved to a nearby city which is a thirty minute drive from our home town where they all live.

I am so proud of my new home - it has a lovely large garden and is very close to a beautiful park.

When I have been invited to see friends new homes I have been genuinely pleased for them and complimentary. I am really hurt today that all I got was negative comments.

A few friends who brought their husbands openly discussed how much I paid for the house and even went on the internet to show each other what you can but in our home town for that money. I heard one laughing and saying they saw her coming.

The comments were all negative, comparing it to our home town (which is lovely) and saying I was crazy. I do t think anyone said congratulations- there were some neat rap comments like the garden is much bigger than I thought but really it was just a bit mean spirited.

I am single and worked so hard to get this. I live it and sometimes have to pinch myself that it is actually mine. I used to walk along this street and fantasise about living here.

I know it’s just a house to them - and I know they all have lovely homes themselves. But why couldn’t they even fake it? They just kept telling me how great our home town is - and comments like oh I couldn’t live in an attached house. One even asked me if her car was safe in my driveway!!!!

So I guess my question is am I being unreasonable to expect my friends to pretend they like my new house!

OP posts:
August1980 · 18/04/2022 18:54

Congrats on your new home Op. i am sorry your friends didn’t appreciate your hard work/achievement.
Be proud OP of your home irrespective of how much it cost and where it is..Everyone on here knows it is no easy feat to buy/afford a home..well done ✔️ and enjoy your sanctuary 🥰

drawacircleroundit · 18/04/2022 19:00

Their individual self-esteem levels must be through the floor for them to gang up on you like this, OP, and I feel so sorry for you.
Their comments are all about them feeling the need to be top dog. They can't enjoy anyone else's happiness because theirs is then thrown momentarily in the shade. It's playground behaviour.
In the future, watch and see if this pack behaviour is delivered to anyone else trying to be happy. If it is, they are toxic and you need to make new friends which you will, because you sound great.
Their comments are not about your house - they are the result of them trying to protect their own fragile self-esteems.

Moll2020 · 18/04/2022 19:01

Now you’ve moved, it’s time to make new friends. You don’t need them and their negativity and jealousy in your life - life is too short. Congratulations on your new home.

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 18/04/2022 19:05

My guess is they feel jealous and threatened by the fact that you're an independent, successful woman.

They are not your friends -sorry.

CountryMouse22 · 18/04/2022 19:13

Jealousy with a capital 'J'

Allinadayswork80 · 18/04/2022 19:14

@midsomermurderess

Odd friends. People on this site have odd friends.
This 100%!

Sound like a bunch of bitches, envious that you’ve made the move away from your home town and managed to buy your place all on your own. Well done for that. Enjoy it. Enjoy your other real friends. Leave the others to their nasty hometown mentality.

Juststopamoment · 18/04/2022 19:18

They are not your friends and they are also jealous that you’ve done this on your own. Congratulations on your new house!

Jellicoe · 18/04/2022 19:21

Congratulations on being on the housing ladder! Just focus on making it it uniquely yours

fetchacloth · 18/04/2022 19:27

Congratulations on your new home OP 💐🍷
I really don't think that true friends would have behaved like these people though. True friends would have been really pleased for you - they seem jealous to me.

Insanelysilver · 18/04/2022 19:35

Don’t ask them back. Clearly they are not able to be happy for you for some reason.
They are as Jealous as fck !

catwomando · 18/04/2022 19:39

@Mellowyellow222 I found that when I
Moved from a small town to the city our friends just didn't get it.

We sold a lovely house and bought a wrecked flat for twice the house price. Frankly it was the best thing we ever did and the small town friends are now acquaintances.

They hated the traffic, the pollution, the on road parking, the busyness. I loved all of the access to the galleries, theatres, london parks, the open minded people, the access to the city for work. All the things to compensate.

Sometimes you move on and leave people behind. Embrace it. Ignore them and enjoy your life !

Scoobydoobydo · 18/04/2022 19:44

Nasty nasty nasty!
For a single woman to own her dream home is indeed a dream come true
The icing on your cake will be when you have some decent friends to share your dream

RachaelN · 18/04/2022 19:55

Massive congratulations on your house. You have worked hard for it. Enjoy every moment, well done. Oh and the friends can do one!

Blueink · 18/04/2022 20:02

Yikes they sound truly horrible and I would be glad to live further away from their small mindedness. It was generous of you to cater a party for them and consider it a goodbye to people who aren’t my friends.

ScottChegg · 18/04/2022 20:10

OP, it doesn't sound like they were EVER nice to you. Glad you've decided to move on, you're not the same person you were when you were 15 and it's horrible that they make you feel that way.

Imissmoominmama · 18/04/2022 20:13

Fuck me- you’re allowed to be proud- you got there on your own!

And, no matter what they think, they should have more class- congratulate you and enjoy the party you’ve put in for them.

Arseholes.

ThistleTits · 18/04/2022 20:13

@FairyCakeWings

That’s horrible OP, I’d be really upset.

I’m going to take a guess that some of the men were a bit intimidated that you’ve been able to do this on your own and still get to be in the city.

This ^

Congratulations and enjoy your new home.

Tusue · 18/04/2022 20:29

Well done you, a single hard working woman who has done this all by herself,got the good job,got the great house.
Deffo sounds like green eyed monsters not friends, maybe they are envious of your life altogether
. Enjoy your life,move on make new friends you deserve better.

pinkpantherpink · 18/04/2022 20:36

Don't sound like they're nice friends don't hang on to them just because you've known them for a while. You live your house. What they think really doesn't matter x

whittingtonmum · 18/04/2022 20:40

It sounds like no one in this friendship group actually enjoys each others company - just what they represent in each others heads: You for them: Sad looser to make fun of and feel good about themselves They for you: The cool kids you feel you have to prove something to. Sounds totally dysfunctional and you are all better off without each other and spend your spare time with actual friends you actually like.

Lostinmiddleage · 18/04/2022 21:05

I was going to say what you’ve said in a later post - I think they are a bit insulted that you prefer to live in a different area, they think it means who don’t like your home town. Maybe a bit of jealousy thrown in. Don’t take it to heart, it’s their ‘stuff’ not yours. You love the house and area, that’s all that matters. I agree they could have said nice things to you about it and saved their scathing comments for when they got home!

Shell4429 · 18/04/2022 21:15

I have a friend who bought a lovely house in a nearby large town and is very proud. I am pleased for them but I wouldn’t want to live in it. A house that size in our home town would have been out of their reach so they are more interested in the status of the house than where they live. I wouldn’t want to live in it but I told them it was a lovely house. I don’t get the obsession with property and possessions, being older with grown up kids it all seems so shallow. Maybe they thought you were showing off, and wanted to bring you down a peg or two, which is horrible but there’s nothing worse than people trying to impress you with affluence. Perhaps you came across as a bit smug? I don’t know, but it might be worth asking them why they didn’t like your house. I doubt they didn’t like it, just the way you flaunted it, possibly?

Flatwhitetostayin · 18/04/2022 21:15

Awww perhaps best to see this experience as some kind of closure on your old ill fitting friendships. A combination of how they view you, and how you view yourself when you're with them will mean that with them, there will always be an uneven balance of power.

I'm glad you have other friends. Friends that you like and they like you. Best concentrate on these from now on.

Your home sounds lovely and you have every right to feel bloody pleased with yourself for achieving it.

All the best. X

Gingercatsarethebest2017 · 18/04/2022 21:17

Congratulations on your new home!
Being able to walk to work sounds great.
Those ladies don’t sound like good friends tbh, jealous and small minded.

NattyNatashia · 18/04/2022 21:18

You need new friends.

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