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Original poster

Friends mean about my new house

350 replies

Mellowyellow222 · 17/04/2022 18:38

I invited a group of women I went to school with to my new house for lunch and some afternoon drinks.

I have been reacting to invite them because I moved to a nearby city which is a thirty minute drive from our home town where they all live.

I am so proud of my new home - it has a lovely large garden and is very close to a beautiful park.

When I have been invited to see friends new homes I have been genuinely pleased for them and complimentary. I am really hurt today that all I got was negative comments.

A few friends who brought their husbands openly discussed how much I paid for the house and even went on the internet to show each other what you can but in our home town for that money. I heard one laughing and saying they saw her coming.

The comments were all negative, comparing it to our home town (which is lovely) and saying I was crazy. I do t think anyone said congratulations- there were some neat rap comments like the garden is much bigger than I thought but really it was just a bit mean spirited.

I am single and worked so hard to get this. I live it and sometimes have to pinch myself that it is actually mine. I used to walk along this street and fantasise about living here.

I know it’s just a house to them - and I know they all have lovely homes themselves. But why couldn’t they even fake it? They just kept telling me how great our home town is - and comments like oh I couldn’t live in an attached house. One even asked me if her car was safe in my driveway!!!!

So I guess my question is am I being unreasonable to expect my friends to pretend they like my new house!

OP posts:
GiBlues · 17/04/2022 22:12

Get some new friends to go with your lovely new house OP.
What a bunch of mean pricks, they’re certainly no friends.

lisaandalan · 17/04/2022 22:13

I think they've lost sight of things because they're not on their own paying for things, husbands probably pay for most things, or at least half each. Some of them might not even work for things at all x

Apatosaurus20 · 17/04/2022 22:25

They sound horrible legacy friends.

Congratulations on your new house, I hope you relish and delight in it!

(Ps I’m more than happy to come round for lunch and gush about how lovely it is 😁)

Original poster
Mellowyellow222 · 17/04/2022 22:28

😂😂 thank you @Apatosaurus20.

This thread has really helped. Even the very few people who suggested that I might not have perfect were quite kind about it!

Much to reflect on. And I think I need to shake off my hang ups from my teen years.

OP posts:
summersun29 · 17/04/2022 22:29

They're jealous, end of.

ChampagneJustBecause · 17/04/2022 22:30

Drop ‘um - and invite us lot round as your new friends, it sounds amazing x

echt · 17/04/2022 22:32

My money if only you being coming across as smug and show off to people you don’t even like. And they know it

Irrelevant. There is only one way to behave when being invited into someone's home, especially a new one: How lovely.

Hertsgirl10 · 17/04/2022 22:34

Urgh they sound awful!!

Why are they obsessed with the home town so much? Sounds like they’re annoyed you managed to break free from the home town and didn’t get a rash unlike them that leave it and have a break out!

Fuck them they’re not nice people.

alwaysmovingforwards · 17/04/2022 22:35

Op, your friends sound like right dicks.

Jobseeker19 · 17/04/2022 22:37

Friends from school hold you back.
I have seen it with my OH. They want to keep you down and will constantly compare.

Robinni · 17/04/2022 22:38

So sorry they have been horrible.

They are jealous B%#

HollowTalk · 17/04/2022 22:42

Ignore people who say that you shouldn't have been happy with your home when they were there. The whole point of inviting people is to show how lovely your house is and I'm sure they've done exactly the same - real friends would love to see you so happy.

You've mentioned your weight a few times. Might now be the time to ditch the friends and spend the money you would've spent on visiting and buying them presents on a personal trainer for yourself? Invest in yourself an hour and to get that shower. They are still in the playground and you have moved on.

SleepingStandingUp · 17/04/2022 22:49

OP if you were my friend and you'd worked your way up the housing ladder to buy a 4 bed by yourself, you could brag all you liked because i'd be proud of you!
you only bought the house so I don't see where being "proud" comes in yeah, cos buying a four bed house on your own if just what i do every other Sunday. Lots of people will never get on the housing ladder, even in a couple. @Mellowyellow222 deserves to be proud that her hard work has brought her such a lovely house

Dundonian · 17/04/2022 22:54

They're jealous. Plain and simple. And nasty. I guess they've shown their true colours.

FangsForTheMemory · 17/04/2022 22:55

Envy, at a guess. I had this with my last place: my then bestie went on and on and on about how 'lucky' I was. I was 'lucky' apparently to be living on a bus route, but I chose to be there. Also 'lucky' to have a garden but I spent ages looking for somewhere with a garden. It wasn't luck: I had a huge and expensive mortgage, I'd spent a long time waiting for the right property to come up, and I worked in a series of steady and unrewarding jobs so that I could buy somewhere.

On the other hand when I moved to my present house, one of my friends was dismissive of it because it isn't fancy enough for her taste. My attitude is 'tough shit: it's me living here, not you'. Your home is what you make of it.

StScholastica · 17/04/2022 22:57

What a horrible experience, I think you really need to go low communication with this lot. If I was your mother I wouldn't want to hear about how the childhood bullies of my children were getting on either. Bugger that.

Do we have to have all this misogyny though?
Bitches
Twats
Cunts
Really?
And as for calling them witches Sad
I know quite a few witches and I guarantee that no witch would act like this crew.

tkwal · 17/04/2022 22:58

Jealousy is a terrible thing. I think a lot of it was because you have achieved so much on your own. The thing about the men with the cars is typical, they can be very precious about their boy toys, not to mention territorial. You obviously moved to a more desirable area so please try to forget their negativity and enjoy the fruits of your labour. Congratulations 🎊

TheBigDilemma · 17/04/2022 23:10

Op, you may be the underling in that group so the moment you do better than they think you should, they put you down to ensure they remain up.

Find other friends that can celebrate with you when you are happy. This group will make sure you are unhappy just to show you who is in charge.

kimfox · 17/04/2022 23:12

We moved away from a big city to a smaller city and so many of our local friends were very much "why on Earth would you want to do that?!" About it.

My feeling was they took it personally, like the subtext to our moving was that didn't think where they live was good enough and we were somehow passing judgement on them! Madness, clearly, but it's amazing how many people seemed to think that way!

I think your friends are just "insulted", have taken it as a rejection of them and their choices, and it's rocked their little bubble. What if you give someone else ideas and they also take the plunge to move away from home?! You've rocked the status quo and all that (rude) chatter was them testing out the water & reassuring each other none of them will be so reckless!

Enjoy your new place, and congratulate yourself on not being so ridiculously insecure!

SarahBellam · 17/04/2022 23:15

They’re rude and jealous, and they’re trying to put you back on your box because they’re annoyed that you can’t be the scapegoat anymore. Fuck’em, life’s too short for shite friends.

TheBigDilemma · 17/04/2022 23:20

This reminds me of some “friends”. I absolutely loved their new house and made a sincere fuss about it because I honestly thought it was great, even if it was smaller than ours.

2 years down the line we managed to find the house of our dreams, we put an offer as soon as we saw it. We were going to met them that night and when we rang them we said we were celebrating as we had found our new house they immediately cancelled. Not only did they decline for months to see it, they spent all those months talking about interests going up and stupid people over committing and not being able to afford their mortgages. Incidentally, we had never overcommitted, we had a very small mortgage but in their small minds it was easier for them to assume we were living beyond our means.

Oh, and don’t start me on when DS arrived a year after their little one… that.was.carnage…

For your own good, find better friends. It won’t be difficult. Flowers

LetitiaLeghorn · 17/04/2022 23:23

I don't think you're being unreasonable and I think they were mean-spirited but is it a thing to congratulate people on buying a house? I've always found positives to say and I send a happy new home card, but I've never given congratulations to anyone for buying a house, nor have I ever received any.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 17/04/2022 23:24

Real friends would be happy for you
I feel like they're trying to drag you down as they envy your new life and achievements
Enjoy your new home, and don't give them a second invitation

TootsAtOwls · 17/04/2022 23:24

@echt

My money if only you being coming across as smug and show off to people you don’t even like. And they know it

Irrelevant. There is only one way to behave when being invited into someone's home, especially a new one: How lovely.

Exactly. Even of you HAD been boasting (and I don't think you were) surely any well mandated person would limit themselves to a bit of eye-rolling. Not insulting your home and taking the piss out of the price you paid.

And that's how you know these "friends" area just horrible people

TootsAtOwls · 17/04/2022 23:25

Well mannered

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