Neighbours treat their garden like a living room

[Norgernert]

I realise this could be entitlement / snobbery / nimbyism, hence looking for a genuine perspective on whether IABU.

We live in a quiet, semi-rural steading conversion, so a smallish cluster of houses in converted farm buildings. We’ve lived here for 20+ years, and it has always been blissfully quiet.

2 years ago the last working farm building was sold off to someone who converted it, and now they live there - young family in their late 20s with toddlers (we are in our 40s with teenagers).

The problem is, they are so very loud

Their conversion forms a courtyard, and they just treat the courtyard as another room of the house. They usually have double doors open, TV or music on, shouting from one side to the other.

It carries right through the area. There is no getting away from it, even going for a walk in the previously quiet fields.

We have had some respite in the winter when it was cold, but they are back to normal today and I just know it will be like this until autumn.

Do we just need to suck it up and accept that we have been lucky until now?

OP - the children won’t be toddlers forever: they’ll go to school etc.
I presume all the noise stops when the children go to bed?
Not that that’s much comfort but it sounds like sense to directly ask them to turn the tv down- there’s no need for that. They’d probably turn their own volume down too!

The Uk is so strange about people using their yards based on these threads

Why bother having any outside space if you must all be silent and live by random neighbours rules of what is acceptable?

Yanbu at all but unless they are tennants in which case you can complain to their landlord, i don’t think there is much you can do.

If they own, you could still speak to the council as a certain amount of noise Is an environmental health issue. No harm in trying.

I don't want to hear your conversation,

That can be a bit difficult! None of my neighbours are particularly loud but we can all hear each other when we are in our gardens. I also have to raise my voice sometimes as DH is partially deaf, what am I supposed to do, not speak to him?

Music played so loud you can hear it - yanbu and should say something
Using their property as something to live in not quietly look at - yabu

LovePoppy

No-one is suggesting silence.

I sympathise, given that I live in a very rural property in the middle of 17 acres - but have a right of way running through the middle, right next to my house. When one neighbour's kids were younger, there was nothing but noise and the added aggravation of them careering around on motorbikes as they got older, which terrified me as I have a lot of cats & dogs. However, one just has to suck it up: you can't dictate to your new neighbours how or when they use their own property any more than I was able to stop the little shits annoying me, so I voted YABU.

Unfortunately YABU but I would hate to live near them.

@movemyshed

LovePoppy

No-one is suggesting silence.

You’re right

But all conversations and use of outside space must not be heard by neighbours.

And god help you if you mow the lawn at an inconvenient time to those around you.

You’d better not even think about having a pool/hot tub/trampoline or you are anti social.

Let’s not forget the terror that is children who are making children noises.

@Norgernert

Happy to accept if I am being unreasonable, but to put it in perspective I am inside with the windows closed, my kids downstairs watching TV, and I can hear the neighbours and their TV louder than what’s inside my own house.

I guess I just would never have done this. It wouldn’t have occurred to me to impinge on other people’s privacy / calmness / mental space this much.

I think there are two schools of thought. I'm with you on this and don't like to pollute other people's space with noise. I think upbringing has a lot to do with this.

Other people just have no consideration and just do what they want to do, regardless of the effect they may have on others. Also the same time to get angry and defensive when their behaviour is pointed out to them.

@LovePoppy

The Uk is so strange about people using their yards based on these threads

Why bother having any outside space if you must all be silent and live by random neighbours rules of what is acceptable?

nobody is saying everybody has to be silent but noise is an issue. Are you saying that in your country you cannot enjoy being outside without yelling and loud music? OP have a look on your council's website and see what they will do about noisy neighbours. I think that some of them are not aware of how much annoyance they are causing. During lockdown we had new folk move in backing onto my garden. They have got 4 dogs and at first it was crazy, Their dogs would fence run and bark and growl whenever I went out into my garden. I have also got dogs (old ones) who were very upset by this. I was out in the garden one day looking after my own dogs and one of the new neighbours called over and said "Oh we don't mind if your dogs bark back" I said "yes but I do" and she laughed and said "oh sorry" I suspect that the either side neighbours had a word or complained because after the first few weeks they stopped letting the dogs be out there unsupervised and would take then in if they kicked off.

Same thing happening here. YANBU. It’s rude when neighbours do that. My opinion anyway! We have a young couple moved near us and they have toddlers. The patio doors are open, music on and it goes on all day! In the nice weather, I mean.
I don’t mind the sound of the children. That’s nice to hear children play and having fun - it’s their dad! He is sooo loud with his booming voice! They have no consideration for anyone working nights - which I used to.
I have just had my house valued and will be selling up soon!

Difficult one. We live in a private road within gates. Despite the properties being well spaced and with large drives there are covenants about parking, noise and fireworks. It helps that the lady who sold her Manor house for the development had a house built for her in the development. Although she is 93 none of us would dare break one of the covenants. It is absolute bliss.

YANBU you should always have consideration for neighbours. I never allowed my Dc to scream and shout in the garden, normal playing and laughing, yes. We never play loud music outside either, or light BBQ’s when washing is out in our neighbour’s garden without forwarning them.

Nothing you can do OP but it is really annoying yes. Our neighbours have 2 small children are are always in the garden. Constant "mummy, daddy" and the parents performance parenting. I wish they would just go out sometimes

@Badger1970

Our NDN's over the road built a lockdown bar in their front garden so they could entertain outside during Covid.

I reported it (planning breach) but the council have decided in their wisdom that it's "impractical" to pursue and the case has been closed with no further action. They've been out in it all day today - drinking, HAW HAW HAWing at full volume and their oversized bulldog has been barking all day to accompany it. It's got 2 sides so it's like an ampitheatre for his booming Dom Joly "I'm on the phone" voice

I've sat in tears this afternoon, as we had to come inside and shut all the doors/windows to drown it out. Here comes our summer again We've lived here 25 years and raised our family here. It's not fair.

@Badger1970 that sounds awful (and very similar) and I really feel for you.

In fact, you have made me realise that my noisy neighbours are also in breach of planning permission on a number of points.

I think a few people think I am just objecting to normal family noise. To put it into perspective, yesterday they were out. Bliss! I could hear (just about) the neighbours on the other side playing football and then having a barbecue with some other neighbours. Also vaguely aware other neighbour was gardening. All perfectly lovely. Just normal levels of noise of human interaction. I enjoyed knowing that there were other people out and about enjoying themselves.

Today I have been subjected at volume to any number of episodes of peppa pig and dora the explorer, as well as detailed discussions of male neighbours problems with his bowel movements, some of which I suspect was while he was actually on the toilet (Dom Joly voice is a very good way to explain it!).

@fizzypop100

Nothing you can do OP but it is really annoying yes. Our neighbours have 2 small children are are always in the garden. Constant "mummy, daddy" and the parents performance parenting. I wish they would just go out sometimes

Stop telling the OP there is nothing that can be done 😂 there may well be. I work in this field I know what I'm talking about.

@PinkSparklyPussyCat

I don't want to hear your conversation,

That can be a bit difficult! None of my neighbours are particularly loud but we can all hear each other when we are in our gardens. I also have to raise my voice sometimes as DH is partially deaf, what am I supposed to do, not speak to him?

”Enunciation, not raised voices!” ( What deaf relatives say) plus having the deaf person look at you helps. Most people with hearing loss detest being shouted at.

You can buy outdoor TVs. As more people get them, I expect there will be threads about them on here.

"They are sitting in their sex pond, blaring the TV and eating the last of the summer chicken. And they're not even wearing masks. How DARE they!?"

Some friends of ours have created an outdoor living room and the noise is horrific. I really feel for their neighbours. They will sit outside watching a film on a projector with Sonos speakers around the garden. They also have kids and dogs and they all BELLOW at each other constantly.

Much as I love them, I’d hate to live near them. It’s all very well to say people can use their property as they wish but that doesn’t excuse anyone from basic consideration for their neighbours.

Oh my god is that a thing?? So grateful for my elderly neighbours.

I don't think yabu at all. Everyone's entitled to enjoy their home but not when their enjoyment comes at some one else's expence.

My kids have all grown up now but I always made sure their noise was that excessive that other people couldn't enjoy their gardens. You have to be aware of the people around you. They have the right to live peacefully.

I did vote YABU. Although I do understand how annoying and obtrusive it can be. Its one of the reasons we bought a house with no neighbours for a good half mile each side.

@Inklingpot

Some friends of ours have created an outdoor living room and the noise is horrific. I really feel for their neighbours. They will sit outside watching a film on a projector with Sonos speakers around the garden. They also have kids and dogs and they all BELLOW at each other constantly.

Much as I love them, I’d hate to live near them. It’s all very well to say people can use their property as they wish but that doesn’t excuse anyone from basic consideration for their neighbours.

Why are you friends with people like this?

@Shmithecat2

I did vote YABU. Although I do understand how annoying and obtrusive it can be. Its one of the reasons we bought a house with no neighbours for a good half mile each side.

And do you not think anyone has a right to quiet enjoyment of their property unless they can afford a remote home?