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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours treat their garden like a living room

429 replies

Norgernert · 17/04/2022 17:57

I realise this could be entitlement / snobbery / nimbyism, hence looking for a genuine perspective on whether IABU.

We live in a quiet, semi-rural steading conversion, so a smallish cluster of houses in converted farm buildings. We’ve lived here for 20+ years, and it has always been blissfully quiet.

2 years ago the last working farm building was sold off to someone who converted it, and now they live there - young family in their late 20s with toddlers (we are in our 40s with teenagers).

The problem is, they are so very loud Sad

Their conversion forms a courtyard, and they just treat the courtyard as another room of the house. They usually have double doors open, TV or music on, shouting from one side to the other.

It carries right through the area. There is no getting away from it, even going for a walk in the previously quiet fields.

We have had some respite in the winter when it was cold, but they are back to normal today and I just know it will be like this until autumn.

Do we just need to suck it up and accept that we have been lucky until now?

OP posts:
Original poster
Norgernert · 17/04/2022 18:36

@Rosehugger

I bet you were noisy ten years ago.When you don't have small children, you forget how noisy they are.
I love the sound of the children! There are quite a few young families, including an AirBNB next door which often has toddlers. Nothing makes me smile more than seeing and hearing them tearing around laughing and splashing in muddy puddles. But that’s not what this is.

I don’t think I have explained this well. I might need to do a diagram. The way they have constructed their house with a courtyard is as if the roof/walls of the house has been taken off and all of their (considerable) noise is shared with the world.

OP posts:
LostLama · 17/04/2022 18:36

It just takes one lot of cretins.

I swear, so many people don’t know how to shut their gobs these days. Or talk in a voice that isn’t a shout/scream.

Children is not an excuse. Children don’t have to scream and shout all the time, including outside in their gardens (where neighbours can hear).

Feel for you OP.

If they are not responding to verbal requests, not sure what you can do. Unless you can afford a farm or large property in the middle of nowhere.

I would move.

Rosehugger · 17/04/2022 18:36

The countryside is deafening. Cows mooing, sheep baaing, ducks quacking, geese honking, birds singing full volume at 5am. Shush!

Pistepersistence · 17/04/2022 18:36

YANBU. I don’t ever play my music loudly. Volume 7 on Alexa and I worry about the neighbours! It’s common courtesy.

LostLama · 17/04/2022 18:37

Countryside noise can be charming. Nothing like music, tv or people shouting endlessly.

Northernsoullover · 17/04/2022 18:40

Why are people saying there is nothing she can do ? There is. If the TV is intrusive it can be assessed and possibly a noise abatement notice served if its found to be a stat nuisance. I feel like no one is listening to me 😂

Original poster
Norgernert · 17/04/2022 18:41

I am going to take the advice of speaking to the council Smile

OP posts:
MarieIVanArkleStinks · 17/04/2022 18:43

Some people just emit noise. It's as though they either can't help it, or take active pleasure in it. I suspect those who do this in their own homes carry it everywhere else they go. We all know what it's like to be sitting near them in the pub or restaurant, or have them behind you at the theatre or cinema. I pity the poor people who have to suffer them as neighbours.

I'm very noise averse so sympathise with you completely, OP. Unfortunately I have no constructive advice to offer. I've been in this position in the past and there was nothing I could do about it at all. We had one bedroom in that property that was unusable. The only solution was to move.

Hope they tread on lego!

BoredZelda · 17/04/2022 18:47

If you didn’t want to hear neighbours, you should have gone for fully rural.

BoredZelda · 17/04/2022 18:49

The way they have constructed their house with a courtyard is as if the roof/walls of the house has been taken off and all of their (considerable) noise is shared with the world.

I think most of us understand how a courtyard works.

LovePoppy · 17/04/2022 18:49

@HeckyPeck

I wonder if the YABUers are people who shout in their garden and have the TV/music blaring out.

Neighbours enjoying their garden is obviously fine, but they don't have to shout or have loud TV and music to do that!

For me, it’s that I know I can’t control how other people use their spaces.

I hate bonfires, but my neighbours have the right to have them.

TheAntiGardener · 17/04/2022 18:51

@Northernsoullover - I hear you and have been through the anti social neighbours thing with my council. It was largely resolved and the council were great, actually. Problem is it needs to be declared when you sell - so it’s not without risks. If the issue is not resolved you’re stick with the problem AND you make it harder to move. I do now want to move (several years on) and, knowing how hard and stressful moving is in general, the thought of having to declare this puts me off. I wouldn’t advise it lightly.

My problem was not loud tv, BTW, so not familiar with his that would be treated.

GatoradeMeBitch · 17/04/2022 18:52

So it's a square building with an open courtyard right in the middle? They probably don't realize they can be heard.

Washermother33 · 17/04/2022 18:53

We have neighbours who are like this when their adult children are staying - constant shrieking laughter and playing of cricket / table tennis for hours on end - I’ve no idea why everything is so hilarious . I’m just glad we didn’t live here when all the kids were at home

Roselilly36 · 17/04/2022 18:54

I can’t stand other people’s music, I would ever play music in the garden, it is just really inconsiderate, when you can listen via Bluetooth headphones etc. Hopefully, as they are parents to toddlers, late summer night noise shouldn’t be expected. Good luck, I hope the situation improves.

CuddlyCactus · 17/04/2022 18:56

YANBU
This would really annoy me too OP but I am quite noise sensitive. Children playing/shouting and normal family noise there's not much you can do about. But if you can hear their TV or music which is inside their house when you're 40m away inside your house then it's loud!

Speaking to them about it, inviting them to hear the noise of their tv in your house and contacting council is really all you can do.

The proximity of housing in steadings puts me off them. We looked at a steadings development a few yrs ago and the houses and setting were lovely. But we felt if we were going to be in the country we didn't want to be in such close proximity to neighbours as usually the layout of them means one noisy household could ruin it for everyone

Hertsgirl10 · 17/04/2022 18:58

@Aniita

Loud voices I don't mind. But there is a special place in hell for those who subject the surrounding gardens with music on a sunny day.
@Aniita

This is quite on the dramatic side 😂

chisanunian · 17/04/2022 18:59

@maddy68

They are t doing anything wrong. They are living in their property ?
They are doing something wrong. They are shouting and blaring out their music, with no consideration for their neighbours.
WildFlowerBees · 17/04/2022 18:59

YANBU it really doesn't take much to realise that noise carries and to keep the noise down. I understand young kids making noise but no excuse for adults to be shouting. Hell is other people!

SeasonFinale · 17/04/2022 19:00

Daytime noise of a TV or music is unlikely to be above the decibels that would constitute a noise nuisance.

NumberTheory · 17/04/2022 19:01

There might be something you can do about the TV and any other amplified sound if it’s actually really, really loud and it’s not just that you’re used to things being really, really quiet. But I doubt there’s much you can do about the shouting to each other.

I understand that it sucks when you get neighbours who have different standards to your own and it changes the feel of a place, but most of the time you just have to suck it up.

Jeannie88 · 17/04/2022 19:02

After having quiet and respectful neighbours this would indeed be annoying. Some families are so loud, to them it's probably normal or they don't realise/care. YANBU! It is unfair to have music and TV blasting outside, weekend eves fine, but every day is too much. X

catfunk · 17/04/2022 19:02

So when you're in your house with your tv on and windows closed you can hear their tv louder than your own???
Is your volume button broken? Confused

Horst · 17/04/2022 19:04

Yabu. We recently moved and because of larger plots more people use their gardens as extra rooms and I cannot blame when one bit. It’s a sun trap all day the gardens are large, many have whole garden rooms, outside movie screens, 12ft minimum pools up or hot tubs. Lots of sculptured trees with warm white leds on at night it has a real home feel to the area.

We have a pool, greenhouse and mainly the rest is set to nature and growing food.

Old area quiet but that’s because only because nobody had space to do anything and if their was noise it was yobs and druggies.

PrincessPaws · 17/04/2022 19:05

They are t doing anything wrong. They are living in their property ?

You can still be an inconsiderate fuckwit while living in your property! Whoever started the 'living room outdoors'/'outdoor cinema' stuff on Instagram and in magazines should be hung, drawn and quartered in my book. They have taken 'inconsiderate bastard neighbour' to a whole new level