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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours treat their garden like a living room

429 replies

Norgernert · 17/04/2022 17:57

I realise this could be entitlement / snobbery / nimbyism, hence looking for a genuine perspective on whether IABU.

We live in a quiet, semi-rural steading conversion, so a smallish cluster of houses in converted farm buildings. We’ve lived here for 20+ years, and it has always been blissfully quiet.

2 years ago the last working farm building was sold off to someone who converted it, and now they live there - young family in their late 20s with toddlers (we are in our 40s with teenagers).

The problem is, they are so very loud Sad

Their conversion forms a courtyard, and they just treat the courtyard as another room of the house. They usually have double doors open, TV or music on, shouting from one side to the other.

It carries right through the area. There is no getting away from it, even going for a walk in the previously quiet fields.

We have had some respite in the winter when it was cold, but they are back to normal today and I just know it will be like this until autumn.

Do we just need to suck it up and accept that we have been lucky until now?

OP posts:
Mrsmch123 · 17/04/2022 20:09

Wonder if my neighbours hate me..... I always have my double doors open and play music. We have family over on nice days chatting and enjoying the sun.

Horst · 17/04/2022 20:13

Oh no there is no need for shouting or squeaky loud children.

However are you sure hearing Peppa isn’t because they are so loud but because everyone else is so quiet?

In our old house I could always here the house of the left never the house on the right. The right also claimed they could never here us but we are not loud anyway. Now the new tenant in our old house can hear the left not the right but the right can also here then now as they where used to our level of loud which was not heard at all.

It could also be the shape or layout of the property rather than the volume itself again.

By all means speak to the council if you feel it could be deemed too loud but if it turns out it’s just loud due to certain angles and the sounds moving but normal in their home I doubt you can do much and tbh again people don’t have to be silent in their gardens. Land is a premium price for all.

h0tXberns · 17/04/2022 20:14

My vote is YANBU. I sold and moved out of my last lovely house due to nightmare neighbours ruining it, similar to yours. Now I have a neighbour with an aggressive dog as well as annoying music blaring through open windows on sunny days. but supposedly they are moving. Gritting teeth for now but if the next people are as bad I will want to move again.

Can anyone explain/ draw a steading arrangement? Have tried a Google, not v helpful.

Imlovinglife · 17/04/2022 20:14

"Why are you friends with people like this?"

She probably likes to go round and watch Gladiator with the sound bouncing round the garden like she is actually in the coliseum.

Maximus! Maximus!

Original poster
Norgernert · 17/04/2022 20:14

@Mrsmch123

Wonder if my neighbours hate me..... I always have my double doors open and play music. We have family over on nice days chatting and enjoying the sun.
Fully depends on how loud the music is, and how loud you are. Why don’t you ask them? Smile. I quite enjoy hearing people out and about at a normal and reasonable volume
OP posts:
Inklingpot · 17/04/2022 20:16

@Clymene Why are you friends with people like this?

Erm… because we like them? What an odd question. Just because I don’t really go for their outdoor living room and think they’re loud buggers doesn’t make me want to not be friends with them.

Shmithecat2 · 17/04/2022 20:17

@Clymene of course I don't think that. But it's not to be guaranteed.

Stripyhoglets1 · 17/04/2022 20:19

If you can hear it that loud from the distance you say it is, it has the potential to be a statutory nuisance.

Keep asking them to turn it down, get the other neighbours to do the same. You all need to keep diaries and contact the council nouse team for advise.

You expect to hear the noise of other people outside, but what you describe sounds excessively loud and persistent.

oakleaffy · 17/04/2022 20:20

@fizzypop100

Nothing you can do OP but it is really annoying yes. Our neighbours have 2 small children are are always in the garden. Constant "mummy, daddy" and the parents performance parenting. I wish they would just go out sometimes
Children’s noise , especially on a trampoline or pool can be very loud. Shrieking and maniacal giggling that is likely to turn to tears any second. Barky dogs also are very annoying- as is alcohol- amped voices. People talking over one another and guffawing. Ugh.
Fluffymule · 17/04/2022 20:21

It is difficult with neighbours, particularly when people have differing opinions and tolerance levels on noise.

My last neighbours would always go outside onto their patio to make and take phone calls so they didn’t disturb each other watching tv or whatever indoors.

However they were both very loud speakers, more so talking into the phone, and seemed to have a ridiculous number of people to talk with each day.

The worst was when one of them was going through problems with their workplace, which went on for almost a year, and would discuss it - sometimes angrily, sometimes tearfully - at length to friends and family at loud volume for hours. I could hear every word.

Because the story and ongoing updates had to be repeated to each caller in turn it meant I heard the same thing over and over each day. It was painful! Mostly annoying, but also made me feel like I was doing wrong by hearing their private business, even though it wasn’t by choice and I couldn’t escape from it.

Some people are oblivious to their impact on other people and some just don’t care. Unfortunately with neighbours, unless you are able to buy/rent a property with enough grounds around it, it really is a lottery.

needmorethanthis · 17/04/2022 20:23

YANBU
If their TV is so loud that you can hear it inside your property with the windows closed then that’s too loud. Speak to the noise enforcement people at the council about how to monitor the level. If it was me I’d get a device that measured the noise level (decibels?) to see if it was breaking the law. Then I’d approach them and say “hi, hope you don’t mind and this is a bit embarrassing but thought I’d let you know that because you’ve got your doors open all the time we can hear all of your conversations” if they care about their own privacy then they might keep their doors shut.

justfiveminutes · 17/04/2022 20:24

Maybe they just don't fully understand what it is like to be disturbed by a neighbour's excessive noise.

I think I would help them to understand by making excessive noise at times that would be very unwelcome to a young family. If you can rope the neighbours in too that would be even better. They'd fully understand the implications of tv sound carrying if you played Saw or similar into the small hours of the morning, death metal at dawn, lawnmowers all out at 7am on their lie-in day etc

Superbabe64 · 17/04/2022 20:24

We also live in a lovely street with all our gardens going on to a river. We all use our gardens as extensions of our houses with seating areas, large patio doors etc. We have grown up kids but I love hearing next doors kids out playing. I am a shouter and swearer so we regularly apologise to each other about the music, noise etc we all make.
Think you need to take chill pill or close all your doors and windows and sit inside.

florianfortescue · 17/04/2022 20:27

YANBU. This would make me want to move.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 17/04/2022 20:27

"Enunciation, not raised voices!” ( What deaf relatives say) plus having the deaf person look at you helps.
Most people with hearing loss detest being shouted at.

Thank you for the advice but I think I know how to speak to my own husband, I've known him long enough. And where did I say I shout at him? Confused

Clymene · 17/04/2022 20:28

[quote Inklingpot]**@Clymene* Why are you friends with people like this?*

Erm… because we like them? What an odd question. Just because I don’t really go for their outdoor living room and think they’re loud buggers doesn’t make me want to not be friends with them.[/quote]
Why is it an odd question? I'm friends with people who share similar values. I don't have any friends who get into fights or drop litter or think racism is a laugh.

Your friends are inconsiderate selfish arseholes. It just seems really odd to think "phew, glad I don't live next to them' rather than 'do I really want to be friends with inconsiderate selfish arseholes?'.

Gonnagetgoing · 17/04/2022 20:31

I can’t stand loud people or people whose voices are almost trying too hard to be loud.

New neighbours moved in next to me a few months back and they’re so bloody loud. Factor in terraced housing and it’s hell. Parents came round one night last week and we were watching something on TV and they both said, how can you deal with that?! Loads of screeching, laughter, whooping so much so we couldn’t hear the TV. And i had neighbours with kids twice before these who are 2 women in their 40s - one is American though and I think she is loud. Having said the previous neighbour was also an American woman and she was quiet!

I’d suggest as someone has here contacting council re unreasonable noise. They should buy a detached house if they want to make loads of noise.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 17/04/2022 20:32

I think its bloody selfish personally. If you live near other people you have a duty to be considerate. Enjoyment of your own home does not mean destroying everyone else's enjoyment of their homes.
My neighbours destroyed my happy life in my forever home and almost gave me a breakdown. I had to move and I'm not happy in my current home so I'm moving again.
It was an idyllic house on a national park and I'll never find such a lovely house again.
People have the manners and behaviour of pigs these days.

Original poster
Norgernert · 17/04/2022 20:34

Diagram for @h0tXberns

OP posts:
BoredZelda · 17/04/2022 20:35

Ridiculous. Like a pp I live in a terrace with tiny gardens. Children have grown up here and we sit out when weather allows, but nobody plays loud music or shouts and yells.

Not ridiculous. I live in a new build estate, plenty of neighbours make plenty of noise, barking dogs, kids screaming, music etc. It can be irritating but goes with the territory of living near people.

Northernsoullover · 17/04/2022 20:36

@Superbabe64

We also live in a lovely street with all our gardens going on to a river. We all use our gardens as extensions of our houses with seating areas, large patio doors etc. We have grown up kids but I love hearing next doors kids out playing. I am a shouter and swearer so we regularly apologise to each other about the music, noise etc we all make. Think you need to take chill pill or close all your doors and windows and sit inside.
This thread has been a real eye opener as to why people behave this way. What gives YOU the right to disturb other people? Why should they go indoors? You sound charming with your shouting and swearing. I swear like a sailor too but wouldn't subject my neighbours to it.
godmum56 · 17/04/2022 20:36

@Superbabe64

We also live in a lovely street with all our gardens going on to a river. We all use our gardens as extensions of our houses with seating areas, large patio doors etc. We have grown up kids but I love hearing next doors kids out playing. I am a shouter and swearer so we regularly apologise to each other about the music, noise etc we all make. Think you need to take chill pill or close all your doors and windows and sit inside.
oh I bet you are a GEM to live next to.
SpottyPantsNextDoor · 17/04/2022 20:36

We need a diagram please

godmum56 · 17/04/2022 20:36

@Norgernert

Diagram for *@h0tXberns*
no diagram
Benjispruce4 · 17/04/2022 20:38

We were in the train tombs other day and a family got in and sat about 5 rows ahead of us. In better there were groups chats but all we could hear were this family. I heard all about the problems one was having at work, her daughter’s school issues, which restaurant they were going to in London. Some people have very loud voices and I’m always so surprised that they don’t care who hears their business.