Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours treat their garden like a living room

429 replies

Norgernert · 17/04/2022 17:57

I realise this could be entitlement / snobbery / nimbyism, hence looking for a genuine perspective on whether IABU.

We live in a quiet, semi-rural steading conversion, so a smallish cluster of houses in converted farm buildings. We’ve lived here for 20+ years, and it has always been blissfully quiet.

2 years ago the last working farm building was sold off to someone who converted it, and now they live there - young family in their late 20s with toddlers (we are in our 40s with teenagers).

The problem is, they are so very loud Sad

Their conversion forms a courtyard, and they just treat the courtyard as another room of the house. They usually have double doors open, TV or music on, shouting from one side to the other.

It carries right through the area. There is no getting away from it, even going for a walk in the previously quiet fields.

We have had some respite in the winter when it was cold, but they are back to normal today and I just know it will be like this until autumn.

Do we just need to suck it up and accept that we have been lucky until now?

OP posts:
MsFogi · 17/04/2022 19:05

I think it is fine for them to treat their garden as an extension of the house - it is. However, it is not okay to play music in the garden at a level the neighbours can hear it, that stops the neighbours enjoying their own garden and I think anyone considerate would try to talk in the garden at a volume that didn't carry to the neighbouring houses.

Notcontent · 17/04/2022 19:06

I really feel for you OP. The thing is that some people think their rights to enjoy their house or garden trump the rights of others. I live in a row of terrace houses with houses very close behind our row, so our small gardens are basically court yards. Nearly everyone is very considerate because if everyone had loud tv with doors open etc then life would become unbearable.

SScoobiedoo · 17/04/2022 19:09

What might happen is as the DCs get older they are glued to their screens and won't be interested in screaming outside.
I'm surprised 2 adults can make that much noise. But as I said DCs will get older and things will change.
Also DCs will have hobbies when older so will be ferried about at weekends so less noise.

Lunificent · 17/04/2022 19:11

I think you need to move house, as sad as that will be for you. They won’t become quieter and you need to live somewhere where you don’t have to feel as if your living in their house with them (noise wise).

BakedTattie · 17/04/2022 19:13

The only way round this is to be the nosier neighbour.

Blast that music.

SilverGlitterBaubles · 17/04/2022 19:14

Neighbours kids playing outside is just something people have to put up with but loud music or tv outside is inconsiderate and annoying.

Original poster
Norgernert · 17/04/2022 19:14

@BoredZelda several people had assumed it was a shared space, or directly outside my house, or that the houses were particularly close together.

@catfunk No, my TV is on at a normal volume downstairs. I am upstairs (with interior doors open) and can hear the neighbours TV much more loudly than the one downstairs.

A question for those voting YABU (the majority!) - do you make this kind of noise? What is your reasoning? Does it not bother you that you are subjecting other people to your noise? Is it that other peoples noise doesn’t bother you and so you assume yours won’t bother them?

OP posts:
Northernsoullover · 17/04/2022 19:15

@LovePoppy bonfires you can certainly have them but you can't just light a fire as often as you like. You can only burn garden waste too like leaves and trimmings. If neighbours are having very frequent bonfires and interfering with the enjoyment of your home again this might amount to a statutory nuisance. If they are burning household waste (which happens) then that is also a no no.

movemyshed · 17/04/2022 19:16

If you didn’t want to hear neighbours, you should have gone for fully rural

Ridiculous. Like a pp I live in a terrace with tiny gardens. Children have grown up here and we sit out when weather allows, but nobody plays loud music or shouts and yells.

Thank goodness some people still have manners and consideration for others.

Lunificent · 17/04/2022 19:16

I think the YABU people have not understood that the volume you’re subjected to is exceptionally loud.
I think they think you’re objecting to people living their lives normally, which you’re not.

oakleaffy · 17/04/2022 19:16

@Norgernert
That is a huge downside with bifold doors - on their property-
One is party to other’s lives.

A friend who lives rurally - detached house for quietness sakes- is thinking of moving if planning goes ahead for field next door.

Don’t know what you can do, apart from move…
People are getting noisier for sure.

takemetomars · 17/04/2022 19:16

@Norgernert

Happy to accept if I am being unreasonable, but to put it in perspective I am inside with the windows closed, my kids downstairs watching TV, and I can hear the neighbours and their TV louder than what’s inside my own house.

I guess I just would never have done this. It wouldn’t have occurred to me to impinge on other people’s privacy / calmness / mental space this much.

We had this. One family ruining everyone's peace. A party every weekend winter or summer, summer in the garden every day with multiple friends, radio blaring. It was unbearable. We moved (after 5 years of hell)
70isaLimitNotaTarget · 17/04/2022 19:17

I've got neighbours who play music loud
Kids football duff duff duff non bloody stop into the fence
Kar-e-okee with whooping Hmm

They started one of their annoying family parties , I thought "Fuck This" and got DH to mow the lawn .
Ok not peaceful for me but it drowned out their noise.

OP , punish them with a good handfull of assorted bird seed and mealworms thrown into their garden very early morning. The resultant bird shit will have them frantically cleaning their garden furniture a while .
Birds - act of God , innit ? Nature .

HEadvice · 17/04/2022 19:18

So many inconsiderate people. Our neighbours were like this. 4 grown up children, 2 large dogs. They had independent funds so none of them went to work. They were sat outside dawn til dusk bitching at / about each other and I felt I could never sit outside as it got to the point where they just irritated me so much. They weren’t the brightest of cookies so sometimes things they said were quite funny but it was like hearing the Daily Mail comments read aloud. First one is funny then it just makes you 😡😡 Also BBQs, outdoor kitchen so constant cooking smells and then they turned half of the garden into a drive way so we had car noise too. It was like living next to a 24 hour takeaway and beer garden. I just don’t think it crossed their minds that people don’t want to listen to them. She also had a hideous whooping laugh that was just 😬😬😬 especially after a drink or two. Which was most days.
Thankfully- they moved to Cornwall. Can now enjoy my garden.
It felt good to type that out!

Original poster
Norgernert · 17/04/2022 19:18

Oh god, garden cinemas. You are right, it could be much worse! I can’t even imagine being so selfish as to impose that on my neighbours. Is that really something people do outside of Instagram?

OP posts:
Gagaandgag · 17/04/2022 19:18

I feel for you - I don’t think you are being unreasonable- Such a tricky situation - because approaching them would probably end up making it worse?

iseeyou1234 · 17/04/2022 19:19

I don’t quite understand the layout of your houses and how this impacts the noise you can hear, post a diagram if you can. In any case I think your neighbours are being unreasonable OP and I would speak to the council, as others have suggested.

Badger1970 · 17/04/2022 19:21

Our NDN's over the road built a lockdown bar in their front garden so they could entertain outside during Covid.

I reported it (planning breach) but the council have decided in their wisdom that it's "impractical" to pursue and the case has been closed with no further action. They've been out in it all day today - drinking, HAW HAW HAWing at full volume and their oversized bulldog has been barking all day to accompany it. It's got 2 sides so it's like an ampitheatre for his booming Dom Joly "I'm on the phone" voice Angry

I've sat in tears this afternoon, as we had to come inside and shut all the doors/windows to drown it out. Here comes our summer again Sad We've lived here 25 years and raised our family here. It's not fair.

saddowizca · 17/04/2022 19:21

I find this thread very interesting, with every gardening makeover show I see talking about entertaining in the garden, I always want to say, 'what about the neighbours'.
You have my sympathy op, my neighbours are very nice, but are very loud, it makes me want to live on a desert island.

PeachesToday · 17/04/2022 19:23

YANBU to be upset by it. I’m in a similar situation with one family who are incredibly loud. They only shout & constantly have Harry Styles on. They also beep the car horn a lot.

I’m happily moving soon :)

StoneofDestiny · 17/04/2022 19:23

The behaviour you are describing is not normal at all. It's inconsiderate, unnecessary and moronic. If several neighbours are complaining it sounds likely YANBU.
Can all neighbours act together in complaining?

LittleRedRidingHood187 · 17/04/2022 19:24

I was at my dad's yesterday and thought to myself I wonder if his neighbour will be out today making lots of noise

Within twenty minutes the jet wash was on. He jet washed his front drive from 9:00-6:00pm. Nine hours of constant jet washing

Unfortunately as the weather gets nicer people start getting very loud outside. We've noticed that in the winter the loud cars and motorbikes vanish but start to appear as soon as the sun is out not to mention the cretins playing loud music in cars and gardens. The autumn and winter met be cold but at least the scum stay inside

LovePoppy · 17/04/2022 19:28

[quote Northernsoullover]@LovePoppy bonfires you can certainly have them but you can't just light a fire as often as you like. You can only burn garden waste too like leaves and trimmings. If neighbours are having very frequent bonfires and interfering with the enjoyment of your home again this might amount to a statutory nuisance. If they are burning household waste (which happens) then that is also a no no.[/quote]
Where I live they can. They run their wood stove too.

Weekend pool parties. Music.

Their house, their lives.

You just get on with it

Neverendingdust · 17/04/2022 19:29

This would drive me insane. It’s fine being free to ‘live’ in your own property but when that’s at the expense of other peoples comfort then it’s unacceptable and should not be tolerated. When it’s movie time or kids bedtime, get the lawnmower out and do a thorough cut…

givethatbabyaname · 17/04/2022 19:31

You are feeling disrespected by your neighbours’ perceived lack of consideration for you, as well as irritated by the noise.

The neighbours are showing a lack of consideration that communal living benefits from, but they’re not obligated to be considerate (unless they’re breaking applicable laws or regulations). Their worst crime seems to be thoughtlessness, or a lack of care.

If you want complete privacy, you shouldn’t have bought a property where this might not be achievable. If you want exclusively considerate neighbours, well good luck to you.

We are all becoming less and less tolerant of others these days, I find. I certainly am! Life feels difficult enough as it is, sometimes. But, this is a family with young children who will grow up. They won’t always be like this, and your relationship with them, if you both stay, will evolve. It takes giving and taking and both sides, and that takes work and time. All relationships take work, at some point or another. This is life.