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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours treat their garden like a living room

429 replies

Norgernert · 17/04/2022 17:57

I realise this could be entitlement / snobbery / nimbyism, hence looking for a genuine perspective on whether IABU.

We live in a quiet, semi-rural steading conversion, so a smallish cluster of houses in converted farm buildings. We’ve lived here for 20+ years, and it has always been blissfully quiet.

2 years ago the last working farm building was sold off to someone who converted it, and now they live there - young family in their late 20s with toddlers (we are in our 40s with teenagers).

The problem is, they are so very loud Sad

Their conversion forms a courtyard, and they just treat the courtyard as another room of the house. They usually have double doors open, TV or music on, shouting from one side to the other.

It carries right through the area. There is no getting away from it, even going for a walk in the previously quiet fields.

We have had some respite in the winter when it was cold, but they are back to normal today and I just know it will be like this until autumn.

Do we just need to suck it up and accept that we have been lucky until now?

OP posts:
maddy68 · 17/04/2022 17:58

They are t doing anything wrong. They are living in their property ?

ImInStealthMode · 17/04/2022 17:58

I think YABU unless they're out there late at night. We don't have a garden as we live in a flat, the very second we do have one I plan to use it as much as possible.

AchillesPoirot · 17/04/2022 17:59

I don’t think there’s much you can do. Sorry.

Aniita · 17/04/2022 18:01

Loud voices I don't mind. But there is a special place in hell for those who subject the surrounding gardens with music on a sunny day.

romdowa · 17/04/2022 18:01

You should definitely ask them to stop using their own property, how absolutely vile of them🙄🙄🙄

mudgetastic · 17/04/2022 18:04

But you could ask if they could avoid spreading onto your property- politely say if loud noise is carrying

Or play your music even louder

Original poster
Norgernert · 17/04/2022 18:06

Happy to accept if I am being unreasonable, but to put it in perspective I am inside with the windows closed, my kids downstairs watching TV, and I can hear the neighbours and their TV louder than what’s inside my own house.

I guess I just would never have done this. It wouldn’t have occurred to me to impinge on other people’s privacy / calmness / mental space this much.

OP posts:
Suzi888 · 17/04/2022 18:07

YANBU
Sounds like a nightmare…

Suzi888 · 17/04/2022 18:08

Meant to add, but you’ll have to suck it up unfortunately.

Mindymomo · 17/04/2022 18:08

I sympathise, my neighbour has 4 married daughters who visit regularly with their families and are so loud, they don’t talk to each other, they shout and their children argue and scream. She is looking to move, so hopefully we get a nice quiet family soon.

Thestagshead · 17/04/2022 18:09

@Norgernert

Happy to accept if I am being unreasonable, but to put it in perspective I am inside with the windows closed, my kids downstairs watching TV, and I can hear the neighbours and their TV louder than what’s inside my own house.

I guess I just would never have done this. It wouldn’t have occurred to me to impinge on other people’s privacy / calmness / mental space this much.

Which translates as “happy to accept if I’m being unreasonable, but I’m fucking not. Here. Let me big it up to prove it”

😂

Ilikewinter · 17/04/2022 18:11

YANBU, I hate noisy inconsiderate neighbours

Mummy1608 · 17/04/2022 18:12

Yanbu for being annoyed but there's nothing you can do except move.

We've got an amazing set up here - next door is someone's second home (he's usually abroad so it sits empty) and the other side is a quiet couple in their 60s.

Move house!

HeckyPeck · 17/04/2022 18:14

I wonder if the YABUers are people who shout in their garden and have the TV/music blaring out.

Neighbours enjoying their garden is obviously fine, but they don't have to shout or have loud TV and music to do that!

ExplodingElephants · 17/04/2022 18:15

It sucks and I genuinely sympathise but sadly YABU. This is purely because it’s their property and they can use it how they feel. You’d be equally annoyed if they told you how you could/couldn’t behave on your own land.

CurbsideProphet · 17/04/2022 18:15

I sympathise as our next door neighbours and their small children are the noisiest people in the row - inside their house and outside. However I remind myself that they are nice people and at least they don't have a dog barking 24/7.

etulosba · 17/04/2022 18:15

When we were looking for a house, we gave those “steading” type developments a very wide berth. We wouldn’t have fitted in living in such close proximity with other people.

Bellringer · 17/04/2022 18:15

Council told me if next door have tv or music on and I can hear it over mine it's too loud

Beckstar0 · 17/04/2022 18:15

Yanbu - they know they live in a quiet area and it doesn’t take a cunting rocket scientist to realise that the locals might want to keep it that way. They are being incredible selfish. I’d send them an anonymous letter telling them they’re annoying all of their neighbours.

myyellowcar · 17/04/2022 18:16

YANBU but you won’t get anywhere with ignorant idiots like them. Just hope they move soon.

Fordian · 17/04/2022 18:16

My sympathies. Neighbour noise can be a real stressor; remember ASBOs? They were created in part to address things like noise in recognition of it being anti-social.

Northernsoullover · 17/04/2022 18:17

Actually there is something you can do. This may fall under unreasonable noise. Contact your local council environmental health team and have a chat. You should be able to use your home without intrusion.

ExplodingElephants · 17/04/2022 18:18

@HeckyPeck

I wonder if the YABUers are people who shout in their garden and have the TV/music blaring out.

Neighbours enjoying their garden is obviously fine, but they don't have to shout or have loud TV and music to do that!

Not necessarily. I voted YABU and we were the quietest neighbours ever in our previous property (terraced so very close together) We mostly just stayed in due to the noise of our rowdy neighbours but even when we did go out we chilled out and chatted quietly. Loving our detached place now so we don’t have to worry about noise, even though we still wouldn’t play loud music.
QuebecBagnet · 17/04/2022 18:18

I have the same issue and hate it. Music in the garden on sunny days.

They have now built a very expensive and permanent “car port” on the back of the house. So roof and sides, but open facing the garden. Sofas in there. They’re about to wire in heaters to the walls so they can use it later in the evening/all year. They have no volume control and are about 10ft from my bedroom window bellowing at each other. Wish we could move.

2pinkginsplease · 17/04/2022 18:18

We are experiencing the same but feel we have had an easy time. We had an elderly gentleman as a neighbour who we hardly saw and was very quiet but he died and it’s a young family who have moved in. They aren’t doing anything wrong but are just a lot noisier than our old neighbour, they have a noisy trampoline and paddling pool is out, the kids shout and scream and they have parties every chance they can. It’s all part and parcel of having neighbours. You just have to suck it up.