Neighbours treat their garden like a living room

[Norgernert]

I realise this could be entitlement / snobbery / nimbyism, hence looking for a genuine perspective on whether IABU.

We live in a quiet, semi-rural steading conversion, so a smallish cluster of houses in converted farm buildings. We’ve lived here for 20+ years, and it has always been blissfully quiet.

2 years ago the last working farm building was sold off to someone who converted it, and now they live there - young family in their late 20s with toddlers (we are in our 40s with teenagers).

The problem is, they are so very loud

Their conversion forms a courtyard, and they just treat the courtyard as another room of the house. They usually have double doors open, TV or music on, shouting from one side to the other.

It carries right through the area. There is no getting away from it, even going for a walk in the previously quiet fields.

We have had some respite in the winter when it was cold, but they are back to normal today and I just know it will be like this until autumn.

Do we just need to suck it up and accept that we have been lucky until now?

Have you tried asking them to keep the volume down a bit. Just say you can hear it over the sound of your own tv. It may not have occurred to them.

I don't think there is much you can do about them liking to be outside, but you could certainly mention that their Tv/music is very loud and could they perhaps turn it down when their doors are open.

Of course YANBU. There are ways to use your garden without making a racket every time the weather is decent. I feel for you.

@Bellringer

Council told me if next door have tv or music on and I can hear it over mine it's too loud

Must have been their first day on the job...

It does sound as if they are rather loud and it would probably do my head in too if it’s all the time. Unfortunately there’s not much you can do about it as it’s their property. You could have a little word and ask them to keep it down, but if they refuse there’s not much you can do.

I think you’d be reasonable to ask them to turn the tv down if you can hear it that well but other aspects you should file under “suck it up”

Play very loud opera?

It does seem that nobody really has any garden etiquette these days. I don't want to hear your conversation, I don't want listen to your music. And I will afford you the same luxury. It's really not difficult. YANBU, but I suspect you'll have to learnt to blur it out.

Talking and normal toddler loudness = fine
Music and TV in the garden = not fine, unnecessary and unreasonable

Yanbu.

I hate selfish entitled people who have no consideration for others..

YABU to expect not to live their lives and enjoy their garden. But I do understand - we had a new ape of a man move in after 16years of tranquility - and it was kids screaming over his music all day, all summer. And ours was only a holiday home - we sold it.

I bet you were noisy ten years ago.When you don't have small children, you forget how noisy they are.

@Tothepoint99 you are wrong actually. If you can hear other TV and music through your walls it may well be a statutory nuisance.

@Tothepoint99
Did you mean to be so rude?

Several of us have spoken to them. He said sorry but doesn’t do anything. She just laughs.

I don’t want to move, I loved it here before they came . Besides, if we moved there would be no guarantee it wouldn’t be the same somewhere else.

I just can’t fathom the attitude of someone who acts like that. How can they sit out there watching TV full blast knowing full well how many people they are disturbing? Do you think they get some kind of perverse kick out of it?

We’ve had plenty of neighbours who have e.g. had the radio on doing their gardening, but that tends to be a reasonable volume.

(They are not close by in a courtyard outside our house, they are about 40m away on the other side of the steading.)

I think this is quite tricky and difficult to say without actually seeing it. I'd compare it to something like living in flats where the noise of individual families can impact others.

On the one hand, shared outdoor space means that you have to put up with other people, including ones with small children who can be loud or active.

On the other hand, I think that kind of living also means it's important to think about how your noise affects others. Like, do you put your tv or stereo speakers against the wall that backs on to another family's bedroom? It's not really good form if you can avoid it and if you can't you really should be cognizant of the noise.

In a shared outdoor space I think it's important to be aware of leaving it tidy, and in a state that others can use it as well. And don't feel they are intruding if they are the ones who use it less frequently.

The playing and kid based loudness outdoors I think you need to bear, if the times are reasonable. But people leaving their doors open with the loud tv on to me indicates they aren't really thinking about how they affect others nearby.

Ring the council on Tuesday.

@Norgernert

Several of us have spoken to them. He said sorry but doesn’t do anything. She just laughs.

I don’t want to move, I loved it here before they came . Besides, if we moved there would be no guarantee it wouldn’t be the same somewhere else.

I just can’t fathom the attitude of someone who acts like that. How can they sit out there watching TV full blast knowing full well how many people they are disturbing? Do you think they get some kind of perverse kick out of it?

We’ve had plenty of neighbours who have e.g. had the radio on doing their gardening, but that tends to be a reasonable volume.

(They are not close by in a courtyard outside our house, they are about 40m away on the other side of the steading.)

Some people are just selfish and don't consider anyone else. I'd say regular noise- children playing, adults chatting etc and music occasionally is reasonable, but loud music and TV constantly sounds really bloody annoying.

What you’re describing sounds like a family using their property in way they’re perfectly entitled to do. A garden is an extension of the living room for a lot of people.

My next door neighbours have four children and patio doors and the summer of course it’s noisy. When their doors are open because it’s hot, TV/music naturally drifts out. The kids are noisy because they are kids enjoying themselves. And obviously if they have people round on a warm day they’re spending afternoons chatting and having a laugh while the kids play, or maybe the adults are sitting inside by the open doors keeping an eye on the kids playing outside.

Obviously this can create a lot of noise, but it would never occur to me that they were doing anything wrong. We don’t have kids and we just use our garden for chilling out quietly, but there’s no reason they should be forced to use their space in the way we use ours.

A neighbour’s son gets his motorbike out every fine day and revs the engine for 15 minutes before driving slowly away. On his return he lets the engine run for another 10 minutes before switching it.

My piss is well and truly boiled.

when you live out in the country for some peace, and people like that move in, it's absolutely shit. I hope they get bored and move. People who make a lot of noise outside in a situation like this are attention seeking and bored. Let's hope they move somewhere else.

I fear there is little you can do but I feel for you as I love peace and quiet and I would be cheesed off. My partner, like loads of people says people are entitled to live their life in their own property without having to be quiet but I hate noisy neighbours and am very aware of the impact I have on others.
As I said there is little you can do, though dense hedging between the properties is quite effective at dampening noise.

Maybe silently seethe and plan to sell over the winter when they are quieter. You could first 'befriend' them to find out if they are planning to make it their home for life or just do it up and move on. If you are only late 40s then that is a long time you are going to be annoyed with them. Any complaints would need to be declared. Teenagers is a natural moving point too so you can easily find a natural reason to move.

YANBU. They’re selfish and haven’t given a thought to how their noise affects the neighbours. There’s a lot of it about unfortunately.