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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH has given DD all of her easter chocolate over the last week

216 replies

afizzysweet · 17/04/2022 08:41

I bought some small easter eggs and little mini egg things about a month ago for DD to do an easter egg hunt today. When I bought them, I said to DH these are for DD, don't eat them and don't give them to her because they are for easter. Put them in the cupboard under the stairs in an easter bucket thing so it was very clear.

Came downstairs today to find none of it is there. Asked DH and he said he's given it to her over the last week because he doesn't want her "eating it in one go".

AIBU for being really annoyed? I was really clear and was looking forward to doing this for her and had told her the easter bunny would be bringing her eggs and hiding them, so she knows we were meant to be doing this. All of the shops are shut today so I can't get any more.

DH has said that I'm over reacting for nothing, am ruining everyone's morning, should go back to sleep and f** off in general.

I will add he isn't usually a complete asshole.

OP posts:
hassletassle · 17/04/2022 10:39

What a fucking stupid, useless arsehole. I hate men sometimes ! Most of them time actually.

ValerieCupcake · 17/04/2022 10:42

@SophieSoSo

What a fucking horrible thing to do to your daughter.

I am certain that this is not the first time he’s been such a selfish twat, is it?

My dad was a twat just like your husband. He stole money out of my piggy bank when I was a child. I hated him all my life. I bet there are more instances of him being like this if you think about it. He is a rat.
MrsBrodie · 17/04/2022 10:43

Glad it's sorted now, OP. Enjoy your coffee & chocolate!

ValerieCupcake · 17/04/2022 10:44

@afizzysweet

Lots of eggs left in the local shop and I have one too for me. Hooray! Now just off to get my coffee.

This is one occasion and he is genuinely a great bloke. He was defensive because I went nuts this morning. When he realised I wad getting ready to go out he started getting ready and said he'd go but I said I wanted to and I'd prefer for you to get dd ready.

We have a long, good relationship, I do appreciate everyone's concerns but that won't be jeopardised by Easter chocolate. At least he's learnt for next year.

A great bloke does not tell his wife and the mother of his child to f-off on Easter morning.

Sorry but he's a twat.

ExplodingElephants · 17/04/2022 10:44

Why couldn’t they have been spread out over next week? Plonker!

LBFseBrom · 17/04/2022 10:48

He sounds rather childish, the least he could have done was replace the Easter eggs. However, if you are in the UK the Co-op is open today and they will still have mini eggs. I presume you have a Co-op near to you, most people do (I have two). Small handy shops, like Nisa and Londis, will also be open, Sunday hours, so all is not lost.

I'd be cross at having such a selfish man child for a husband.

Nietzschethehiker · 17/04/2022 10:48

Please dont get me wrong this would cause a big issue in relationship but I can just about see it as a one off (just.....its close)

We very nearly had the same sort of issue years ago. Dp had never had things like Easter eggs or hunts (or Xmas fun etc) he had zero concept of the magic of childhood because he had never had it. He also detests overindulgence in food (again he grew up hungry ).

However after one or two incidents (low level , comments to me) I sat him down and explained how it needed to qork with dc (bear in mind they aren't biologically his and he didn't have any before).

The first Easter he talked about the waste of Easter etc and suggested they got one small creme egg. He couldn't help himself , he instinctively reduces everything.

I set clear boundaries and clear rules. There was no faffing being diplomatic, not fussing about pandering to him. If he pulled any fast ones and impacted dc he would be gone, it's not ever for children to pay for adults issues.

To be fair now , 6 years later he delivered early mini eggs under their pillows qithout being asked last night, planned to take them out so I could spread the bunny love and plays along magnificently. Mainly because he sees the joy. He gets it. We don't go overboard. Poundshop eggs and one Easter egg each thats it.

Dp would absolutely go to hell and back for dc but this sort of stuff he couldn't understand until he saw the joy, to prevent anything going wrong before he understood that I set crystal clear boundaries. Calmly have a conversation that he doesn't need to understand it but this is an immovable rule and he doesn't fuck it up again (sorry pp who's horrified at the language but we are in fact adults so can say what we like)

Dp is a very good man and a very good adult figure for dc , one screw up wouldn't have made him awful.

That said he would never in a million years have eaten them himself. That absolutely is a dick move.

Fixyourself · 17/04/2022 10:49

It’s actually better for your teeth to eat a load in one go rather than spreading it out! What a dick!

KnowingMeKnowingYouAhaaaa · 17/04/2022 10:50

If she's only 3 just move the day and go to the shop and get some tomorrow, she has no idea what day it is. So young they really won't realise. Eating the Easter chocolate before Easter isn't ideal, but it does sound like you are more upset you couldn't do the hunt for yourself, I highly doubt your 3 year old knows what an Easter egg hunt is to look forward to it.

Happyher · 17/04/2022 10:51

Tell your DD the truth - that her DF has eaten/given her all the eggs for the Easter egg hunt so you aren’t able to do this for her. Let him own his deeds and think of another little treat for your DD to do with you

LBFseBrom · 17/04/2022 10:52

Oh I see you have sorted it, op. Well done.

I never did Easter egg hunts nor did I have them as a child, or anyone I knew. It does sound nice but where do you hide the eggs? I couldn't put them in the garden, we have foxes, rodents and lots of insects :-). Knowing me I'd probably lose and forget where I'd put them and they'd turn up five years later.

KnowingMeKnowingYouAhaaaa · 17/04/2022 10:52

@LBFseBrom, a 3 year old can't have mini eggs, they are a choking hazard for children under 5. I won't even let my 6 year old have them.

KosherDill · 17/04/2022 10:54

@NoSquirrels

Send him to a garage with a shop.

He might not usually be “a complete arsehole” but I bet he’s regularly a bit of an arsehole. You had to explicitly instruct him not to eat your young child’s Easter eggs. (So he has form?) He’s told you to fuck off. He doesn’t sound great to me.

I just can't even imagine a decent man or father doing this. With the feeble excuse that he didn't want her to eat all at once. What bullshit; he no doubt gobbled them himself.
Juniper68 · 17/04/2022 11:00

Swearing at you is awful. You're minimising.

StaplesCorner · 17/04/2022 11:02

I hate these threads why post OP? “DH has been a dickhead” MN “yeah he has” OP “no he’s a lovely dad and never does anything wrong!”

So you’re shrugging it off, you’ll put it right and he’s the hero.

KosherDill · 17/04/2022 11:02

Wait till he fancies some of her birthday and Christmas presents.

ilovepuppies2019 · 17/04/2022 11:04

Lovely, so your DH ate all of her chocolate, gave her a few little pieces for the story to hold up and then got angry with you? Yikes. No reasonable human being would decided that she should have all of the Easter chocolate before Easter day. You would give it on Easter Day and then space the eating out. He's done this to ruin your plans. Does he usually have so little respect for your ideas or take pleasure in ruing fun days? It's hard to believe that this is a one-off. I could not stay married to a man who would deliberately ruin my plans for fun with a little child, get angry at me and refuse to fix it.

Roselilly36 · 17/04/2022 11:07

Sounds just typical OP, hide them better next year, and don’t tell him where you have put them. Tesco express, small co-ops should hopefully have some, that you can hide for your DD.

PutinSmellsPassItOn · 17/04/2022 11:09

If you have a co op near by theyll be open.

Cocomarine · 17/04/2022 11:11

@Roselilly36

Sounds just typical OP, hide them better next year, and don’t tell him where you have put them. Tesco express, small co-ops should hopefully have some, that you can hide for your DD.
Seriously?!!!! Typical? How shit is your partner then? There’s nothing typical about this for most people - even OP says it isn’t typical for her husband. No way would I get into hiding my child’s treat from her father. If OP can’t trust him not to do it again after this year’s problem and discussion of that, then actually I genuinely do think that takes you into LTB territory - who wants to be with someone as selfish as that? It wouldn’t be one incident.

I cannot believe you’re proposing to keep a child’s chocolate “safe” by hiding it from their father.

Raise your bar, for God’s sake!!!!

SunshineCake1 · 17/04/2022 11:13

How could you have eaten all the mini eggs of he did ?

He's a twat.

AnotherEmma · 17/04/2022 11:14

@Cavagirl

Sorry OP, he doesn't sound like a great guy. It's not really about the easter eggs.

He's cocked up and for whatever reason - we can all speculate what really happened - the eggs are gone and you're a bit upset because you can't do the game you planned for DD.

Great Dad reaction: shit, I'm so sorry I realise - let me jump in the car and see if I can replace them!

Not Great Dad reaction: your feelings don't matter, fuck off, stop ruining the morning. You can try sending me out to get more but I won't, I'll just buy Freddos.

He's an arse, and his reaction to your upset is not good OP.

Really hope you find some eggs Flowers

This. Arsehole.
Patchbatch · 17/04/2022 11:15

DH has said that I'm over reacting for nothing, am ruining everyone's morning, should go back to sleep and f off in general.

Wow yes he sounds like a really great person, even if he's normally nice (hmmm) how disrespectful to talk to someone like that. He's also been purposefully deceitful about the eggs otherwise you would have seen her eating some at least once during the week- the principle rather than the eggs themselves is pretty grim. To clarify, he ate/did something with the eggs and then you have gone to the shop to replace it? Why didn't he?

KhansMambo · 17/04/2022 11:17

Has he actually apologised at any point? For the egg thing and for his reaction, this morning? For swearing at you?

If not, I’m not really understanding your repeated insistence on his greatness.

IDidntKnowItWasAParty · 17/04/2022 11:18

Well despite your updates, he doesnt sound very nice to me.