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Original poster

To cringe when I think back to my wedding day build up

205 replies

Reflectiveshine322 · 16/04/2022 06:43

My friend is soon to be married. Dear God I am so so bored of the endless wedding day chat, its mind numbingly boring. I am feigning interest, asking questions etc. Don't get me wrong, I am interested and looking forward to the day but there's a point where the fine details don't interest me and it's just too much.

Its made me think back to my own wedding day. I got so caught up in the excitement of it, the big build up, all the little things that for some reason become hugely important. I've realised that no one else genuinely would have given a crap about the colour of the chair covers or what flowers I had (other than my DH and my mum). I cringe at the whole thing now and wish I could nip back in time, have a low key affair booked a few months in advance. I wasn't a bridezilla but it was all so OTT, I remember playing my bridesmaids our first dance song in the car and having a cry over it. I bet they were secretly pissing themselves laughing 🙈

Does anyone else cringe over their pre wedding behaviour? I'm not even sure many people like weddings. I think close family and friends weddings are generally good fun but I've been to so many where it's such a long day, you're hungry, lots of waiting around, boring speeches, so much polite small talk with people you don't even really know, terrible dancing with distant family members, spending a small fortune on the outfit/accommodation/gift.

OP posts:
Lindy2 · 16/04/2022 08:59

We had a medium sized wedding. It was a fabulous day and I don't regret anything. I did try to keep the costs down by doing lots myself such as the table centres, hand made invitations, vases of flowers around the venue and balloons etc. It was fun and nice but exhausting and time consuming.

I think some of the small lockdown weddings have been the most romantic and personal.

SirGawain · 16/04/2022 09:00

Nan’s ashes sat on the top table.
Grim!

Tulipblacksmith · 16/04/2022 09:06

No, saw through all the bull and eloped so no one knew absolutely anything.

Loved my day.

Very happily married.

I guess if you indulged in the pre wedding chat you’ll just have to get on with it until the wedding is over.

Bigboysmademedoit · 16/04/2022 09:06

Already had our kids so couldn’t justify the cost so quick visit to Vegas - brilliant time and mortgage free by 45!

feedyourheed · 16/04/2022 09:07

I cringe about my actual wedding. About how thoughtless I was in arranging it (expensive hotel away from home, no food apart from canapes until 7pm etc. etc). I also got very drunk and can't remember much past dinner time.

I felt people didn't enjoy it, exacerbated by poor relations with the in laws before it even started. The whole thing was just cringe and I am glad I am divorced as it seems to cement the notion that the whole thing was a mistake from the start.

DarkShade · 16/04/2022 09:08

Also to the add the other perspective: I am planning my wedding now and feel very over the whole thing. DP and I have kids, have been together years and years. We are a family already. My wedding will be nice but I don't have the new bride giddy enthusiasm of a new life. I know the life I'm getting because I'm already living it. And I like it! It's a good life, had I got married 15 years ago I would have been right to be excited about it. But now it's just my normal.

So I wish I had photos of me looking really excited and fresh faced in a beautiful dress.

Monsterpage · 16/04/2022 09:09

@pinkunicorns54

One of my friends politely told me during the wedding 'this is the biggest most important thing in your life, but not everyone else's' gave me perspective and I still think about that mantra with a lot of aspects of my life 🤣
Snap. I didn’t go mad over my wedding at all but I do remember getting irate when the wedding planner hadn’t responded to me about something (it was an overseas wedding so needed a wedding planner to sort out local arrangements). My Mum said the very same sort of thing to me - in a very nice way. Was a useful point well made.
Imsittinginthekitchensink · 16/04/2022 09:10

"No-one cares other than DH and my mum" - my husband to be pointed out he didn't care either - he said he wanted to marry me, but had no interest in the minutiae of the day. I've never been to a wedding I enjoyed, my own was tiny and inflicted upon only those who would have been pissed off had we eloped.

Norgie · 16/04/2022 09:10

I just gave my mum a list of what I wanted and let her arrange it all.
In my home country, you have to get married in a registry office, even if you're getting married in church, so we have two weddings.
To be fair to my mum, she did a fantastic job and I never really spoke about it.
My dad never spoke about the bill which my mum gave him either. I think he was overcome with emotion 😂
I'm still happily married to my idiot.

Original poster
Reflectiveshine322 · 16/04/2022 09:13

DSawyer enjoy your day, I think you've definitely got the right idea!

OP posts:
godmum56 · 16/04/2022 09:13

we all have things in our past that we cringe over now. Laugh and let it go.

Tulipblacksmith · 16/04/2022 09:14

@DarkShade

Your wedding photos will be beautiful in other ways though, anyway I’m sure the photos will be nice. Having your kids in them is also a beautiful thing.

Many fresh faced brides can’t stand their husband after kids! This is not the case for you.

Moonface123 · 16/04/2022 09:17

My wedding day was on Xmas Eve, and it was incredibly relaxed. Register office then quiet celebration at a nearby hotel. Took about 30 mins to organise, and l have no regrets.

Theeyeballsinthefuckingsky · 16/04/2022 09:17

I really enjoyed planning my wedding OP so don’t be hard on yourself. I just thought about everything I’d like as a guest & went from there. I don’t remember being massively stressed about it - I just gave mysejf plenty of time to get things organised. In the great scheme of life, far worse things that being a bit boring about your wedding planning

upperdown · 16/04/2022 09:20

I really cringe when I think back to mine, such a lot of pomp and fuss. Especially as it only lasted two years before he had an affair. Embarrassing!

Still it was 20 years ago, it was exciting at the time and I had a lovely day. I blame confetti.com, the forums whipped us all up and made it seem normal to go to such lengths Smile

PersephonePomegranate · 16/04/2022 09:23

Arh forget it! It's gone now and console yourself that you're not the only one and it could have been a lot worse!

I must admit, I don't really like most weddings though. I find them cringey.

BigCheeseSandwich · 16/04/2022 09:28

I totally missed the wedding gene so had no interest in any of it.

But I’ve been excited for friends, and put up with some mild Bridezilla stuff because it was important to them. I don’t think you should feel bad about getting swept up in the excitement.

I did laugh about crying over the first dance song though, sorry OP!

Myadhdusername · 16/04/2022 09:30

This is really funny OP Grin

Moglie · 16/04/2022 09:30

@Reflectiveshine322 I’m glad you had a lovely day and I agree, just love the excited bride you were.
I’m sure even though you’re bored with your friend’s obsession you still love HER! I expect your friends were the same as me, we just treated it as temporary insanity and welcomed them back on the other side……

I bought exactly one wedding mag, collapsed with stress at the inadequacy it raised and told DH it was all off. He read it, laughed at the OTTness of it and cut out the handy guide to the paperwork which was a great help at the registrar appt!

pictish · 16/04/2022 09:31

@Neverendingdust

Wedding planning- eugh the very words make me feel a bit sick to be honest. Chair covers, LOVE lights, sweets in jars on tables, our special day written on everything, Nan’s ashes sat on the top table.

God weddings are just hideous.

This has made me laugh. Grin
dropoutdoreen · 16/04/2022 09:36

This is why i have never enjoyed being a bridesmaid

The expectations of the bride. Like they're the only person in the world. Always tainted the enjoyment of the day. Felt like a chore

Dillidilly · 16/04/2022 09:45

We got married nearly 30 years ago, and I can remember how thrilled and excited I was to make the wedding favours from a kit bought from an ad in the back of a bridal magazine! Circles of pale pink and ivory tulle, sugared almonds and a teeny paper rose bud ❤ I also hand wrote place cards that again I was over the moon to find in Smiths because they had a really pretty design that matched my colours lol
No mood boards, but I felt very cutting edge when I splurged on a hardback Wedding Note Book, with that well-known print on the front of a Victorian bride lifting her veil. I thought it was so, so beautiful...

And that was it, really. Fast forward to my daughters wedding and I couldn't believe the sheer choice of all the lovlies.

Wee tear for my past, excited, innocent self!

MrsMoastyToasty · 16/04/2022 09:47

I remember going into a wedding dress shop to look at dresses and being asked "Are you having a theme to your wedding?". I just looked at the woman and said "No, I'm not having a theme. I'm having a wedding ". I was obviously the bride who didn't want everything matchy matchy. (This was
in the 90s ).

RosesAndHellebores · 16/04/2022 09:49

We got married in 1991! I still think it was one of the most wonderful days of my life. It wasn't over the top, just 100 guests traditionally done. Favors hadn't been invented, unless you were Italian!

You provide plenty of alcohol and good food and act as a host to your guests. There is very little else to it.

Most of our planning went into the music for the service.

DS gets married at the end of summer. We spent last week with him and his girlfriend. It's all pretty low key and being done very traditionally. I don't think ds would have head space for a Bridezilla.

FairyLightPups · 16/04/2022 09:49

Hahaha yes I agree! DP and I are getting married next year. We planned it (booked all the 'big' things) in a week. We're having 18 guests, a simple ceremony in a beauty spot, a dinner and a nice playlist playing from some speakers. We might buy some rainbow bunting and take our fairy lights over but that's about it. Can't be arsed with a bigger fuss, it's just a bit mortifying tbh!