My toddler is friendlier then others and it annoys me when others are not

[Lozzak21]

My ds has just turned 2 and is always full of smiles going up to other kids saying 'hi I'm xx' and trying to interact with toys and games etc at play groups or the park and I just feel like like other kids his age aren't as friendly as him and it's sometimes not very reciprocal. He is a such a sweet little boy and there would be no obvious reason why other kids aren't as friendly back.
He's about to start pre school so just hoping his joyful, happy, confident little self is embraced there.
Anyone else felt this way? Or is it normal at this age for other kids to be a bit 'off' with kids they don't know.

@MissChanandlerBong80

Quite advanced to be introducing himself to strangers using the first person when he’s just turned two.

Anyway. Your toddler is inferior to my toddler.

Nah, DS used to march up to other toddlers at that age and announce “I Peter Jenkins” (not his real name, obvs).

He then had no idea what to do next, and neither did the child he’d approached, so it always fell rather flat. But the introduction part I can well believe.

It annoys you that other toddlers may be shy or may have additional needs or may find your toddler annoying? YABVVVU

@oakleaffy

Poor little girl..
Attachment Disorder?
That “over friendliness” is so telling.
Superficial friendliness stemming from deeply unsettling formative years sad

Yup. It really is sad. It comes across as bright, inquisitive and outgoing, but that masks what’s going on underneath and how she tests us all the time. She needs to make sure we love her regardless of what she does. Of course, we do.

People say ‘oh she should model! She’s so pretty and outgoing’. And she really is, but she needs to stay folded within people that love her because she is her right now.

Her sister I’ve had since birth and she has a normal ‘parent’ child bond with me. The difference is heartbreaking.

[quote NewYorkCityDreamer]@Giraffesandbottoms
I’m not sure I’d speak to your child if they spoke to me. I used to… until I was in ASDA once and a little boy in a trolley said “Hello pink coat lady” and I replied something along the lines of “Hello! Aren’t your Spider-Man wellies snazzy?” And the parent replied with “don’t you speak to my child you fucking creep” I’m autistic and I’m 23, I was 21 at the time and standing a good metre away and he spoke to me!! It put me right off though as I don’t want to be shouted at again. I’d never have randomly spoken to a child but he spoke to me![/quote]
That's awful - no normal people would object to you responding to their child after he spoke to you first. You did exactly what anyone would and the parent must have been truly peculiar!

Many people talk to small kids even if they didn't engage first - and I suppose there are occasionally circumstances where a parent might find that awkward (though very few).

My DS is autistic and I understand it can be hard enough to learn what is and isn't OK sometimes - but totally confusing when someone acts like that parent! But trust me - we would all have done the same as you and would all have felt as put off afterwards. Please don't let it stop you being friendly in a similar situation another time.

The same toddlers that have been locked up in a pandemic for the past 2 years, some in flats with single parents no siblings, yeh sorry my kids social skin aren't more developed

Take it as a compliment to your own parenting skills, and don't worry about it. The shy kids, most of them, will come around in the next year or so.

@Overthebow

Maybe they are annoyed with your kid being over-friendly?

Anybody who is annoyed at a 2yo for being over friendly is a dick of the highest order

[quote Rachie1973]@oakleaffy

Poor little girl..
Attachment Disorder?
That “over friendliness” is so telling.
Superficial friendliness stemming from deeply unsettling formative years sad

Yup. It really is sad. It comes across as bright, inquisitive and outgoing, but that masks what’s going on underneath and how she tests us all the time. She needs to make sure we love her regardless of what she does. Of course, we do.

People say ‘oh she should model! She’s so pretty and outgoing’. And she really is, but she needs to stay folded within people that love her because she is her right now.

Her sister I’ve had since birth and she has a normal ‘parent’ child bond with me. The difference is heartbreaking.[/quote]
My friend adopted a little girl with this-
She’d been through the mill , many foster homes before being adopted at 4.
Friend is a paragon of patience, but it was a long, hard road.
The biggest gift any child can have are stable , loving, secure early years.
It just sets a child up with a good foundation.

AD is at least more known about now, and hopefully more is in place to support traumatised children and their adoptive parents.

Best wishes to you and your Daughter.

@Rachie1973
Edit:It is a hard road.
The stability of her Sibling who was with you from birth is no surprise.

@Didiplanthis

Also I'm 48 and if someone comes up beaming saying 'Hi I'm X'... I still want to run and hide in a cupboard .

Same.

@threecupsofteaminimum

The same toddlers that have been locked up in a pandemic for the past 2 years, some in flats with single parents no siblings, yeh sorry my kids social skin aren't more developed

Absolutely this!

This does sound like normal toddlers being toddlers but on top of that these children have lost up to 18 months of social skills development and opportunities to interact with children their own age.

I don't live in the UK but my now nearly 3 year old wasn't allowed out of our flat from 8 months old to over a year old. And even then it took longer for toddler groups etc to return and nurseries to reopen. He cried when he saw grandparents after 6 months of only seeing me and DH. I assume children with no siblings and non key worker parents were similar in the UK. Has the OP forgotten how long playgrounds were actually locked up for? I have also heard lots of parents say 'you can't share toys' or even antibac wiping them before sharing which takes a lot of the spontinaity out of social interactions.

Honestly the other children will get there. My own DS has become much more social now he goes to nursery and probably would say hi (he has been known to go up to children and say 'hi little boy' and give a hug while the double masked parents looked on horrified) but that's after a lot of opportunities to practice and fail and also being nearly 3 rather than just turned 2.

YABU to be "annoyed" that other children aren't the same as yours!

Yes mine was like this and sadly the school took a dislike to it. She now has difficulty making friends and rather shy. bloody hate that school.

My oldest was like Yours op but my other two kids were like the other children . Me and dh used to be offended on dds behalf by kids not being friendly back until we had our other two who we had to prompt to reply to other kids coming up to them . Oldest is actually a lot less socially aware than the other two and I think slightly got it wrong with bounding up to other kids. My other two that were a bit more stand offish are better socially and read situations well with people . Not a dig at your kid at all op . I think it's a bit like when you go on a course and there's a loud person - not everyone likes this and many like to be more in the background

All children are different at all ages. Please stop being annoyed at the behaviour of others as this comment makes you seem superior and judgmental.

@WhoAre

They're basically still fucking potato's at two OP. Chill out.

No they're not. Why do so many people on Mumsnet make out that anyone under the age of 5 is basically not a person yet and shouldn't be treated as such.

@WhoAre definitely not potatoes at 2! My toddler already has a huge amount of personality and I love seeing kids that age as they have such strong reactions and emotions!

OP don’t project your own insecurities onto your child, don’t make your issues his.

His rebuff by other toddlers isn’t a personal attack on him, some kids don’t want to interact for the many reasons that have been explained unthread. Just don’t let him pester other kids, nothing worse than trying to play with your child and little jimmy won’t leave you alone, sometimes you need to read the room and parent accordingly.

Just a warning now, school is going to be big disappointment to you OP. Huge.

@Alonelonelylonersbadidea

Phyllis you're back!!!

In reality though, use your inside...ahem I mean internal voice for this stuff, that way you won't alienate other normals.

Oh, I miss Phyllis and the Christ child!

I think it's normal and a sign of healthy development that young children aren't super friendly with strangers. My almost 2 year old son takes a while to warm up. The world would be boring if we were all the same, I personally find over friendly children a bit annoying as I have to keep an eye on them too.

Also an over friendly child means I have to make awkward shallow small talk with the parent which I can't be bothered with

I really didn't mean to offend anyone.
As someone pointed out I admit the title of this thread was poorly worded on my behalf.
I was quite shy and experienced some bullying at school myself so perhaps these perceived rejections towards ds are stirring something unresolved in me.
I am new to mumsnet. Lesson learnt.

I really think some MNers need to be a bit gentler with new posters displaying a case of PFB syndrome . I usually like the MN robust "ODFO" type replies to knobhead posters, but excited PFB parents don't fall into this category. Show me someone who hasn't had a PFB moment at some point, and I'll show you a liar. Also, new mothers can be at risk of PND and people being cunts to them on what is meant to be a parenting site where women support each other doesn't help. It also puts women off MN which is a shame as MNers can be helpful and supportive in lots of circumstances.

I'm sure there is a "PFB moments" thread in Classics which I can't link to as I'm on the app but maybe someone else can, or @Lozzak21 if you search the Classics topics you may find it.

I have multiple DC and actually can't really be arsed with toddlers (love PP's "potato" comment) but I don't see the need to go around threads bursting bubbles of proud parents who love their DC and are proud of them. I find it quite endearing. Hope you stick around @Lozzak21

What's the most PFB embarrassing moment you've had? http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/4337478-what-s-the-most-pfb-embarrassing-moment-you-ve-had

I think I've managed to do it. @Lozzak21 please read as it may cheer you up. It's an interesting contrast to this thread, clearly MNers were funnier and more self aware in 2016 I may or may not have been on that thread

You're right WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles. Hope you're okay Lozzak21.