My toddler is friendlier then others and it annoys me when others are not

[Lozzak21]

My ds has just turned 2 and is always full of smiles going up to other kids saying 'hi I'm xx' and trying to interact with toys and games etc at play groups or the park and I just feel like like other kids his age aren't as friendly as him and it's sometimes not very reciprocal. He is a such a sweet little boy and there would be no obvious reason why other kids aren't as friendly back.
He's about to start pre school so just hoping his joyful, happy, confident little self is embraced there.
Anyone else felt this way? Or is it normal at this age for other kids to be a bit 'off' with kids they don't know.

Oh dear op. Oh dear.

My 3 and a half year old still wouldn't respond to that.... 🤨.

You big dafty. My kids were super shy at that age and you’d have upset me if I read that back then, blaming toddlers for not being ‘friendly’. They’re perfectly sociable now but back then they only really chatted to people they knew. Kids at nursery, yes, kids in the park, no.

They’re all different. You can enjoy having a happy confident little child, but don’t get annoyed at others for still figuring the world out!

Depending on the day, my child will either be beautifully social and wonderful, or make a horrible face and quite possibly say loudly “I don’t want to play with you”. That’s parenting!

What annoys me a lot more is if my child politely says hello to an adult and the adult ignores them like a miserable bastard 😃 it’s hard to explain to a 2/3 year old that some people are just dicks

YABVU. At 2 many kids struggle to share, can be clingy, possessive and unpredictable. The majority can't play with another child and will play alongside others and may struggle to do that amicably.

Some are more laid back and friendly. Others are cautious , shy and happiest playing on their own
Just as people of all ages are too. It's unfair to be irritated by other children's personalities. Just because other kids aren't like yours doesn't make them inferior in any way.

Toddlers are individuals, with their own needs, likes, personalities.
Just like adults. We don’t expect all adults to be the same.

They’re also still developing. At 2 there is still a lot of individual play.

Sounds like you’re taking the behaviour of toddlers personally. The fact so many toddlers respond this way surely shows it’s fairly normal toddler behaviour.

Toddlers are all different at 3 my oldest wantedcto be friends with everyone,my youngest is 12 and has severe non verbal autism he has always wanted to play on his own and always got frightened by other children

I think you just need to accept that your toddler is perfect, a bit like Mary Poppins and others are not

2 year olds are totally egocentric. They have no concept of the world apart from their own wants and needs

Kids develop at different stages and in their own time. This has to be your first child.

Today's 2 year olds were lockdown babies. I know that my DGD has taken time to get used to being around strangers and other toddlers. She's getting there now, and so will the other two year olds like her.

One day you'll have reason not to be so smug, so you might need to grow some empathy and understanding.

My five year old hates strange children approaching her in her in parks etc. she has plenty of friends and is very happy and sociable at school but she usually just wants to play with her sister at the park or crack on on her own. As long as she wasn’t rude, which she isn’t, I wouldn’t be thrilled with other parents judging this.

Why would you even post this? My toddler is soooooo perfect and God forbidany other toddler be different...

My 2 year old has lots of friends at nursery and communicates well. She wouldn't respond well to a stranger approaching her in the park though - adult or child.

I have no concerns about her communication or interactions. I'm possibly quite glad she doesn't go up to children she doesn't know, to be honest.

Op, my kids are like yours. My first in particular was super friendly and talkative at that age. But most kids were shy and just learning to put sentences together. So he gravitated towards older kids but they didn't want to play with a baby (he's also very short so...). I didn't and don't blame the other kids.. They were just different. I just make sure he understands people are different and to try and gauge when to back off and that no one is at fault

@Toomuchtrouble4me

My DOB was too friendly, he’d want to hug and kiss other children and he was a bit overpowering. He got a lot of rejection. The next was a miserable little madam who’d cry if you looked at her, she rejected the smilers. They are 22 and 24 now and happy we’ll balanced adults with good social skills. Don’t sweat it.

I'm so glad I read this. My son is exactly like yours was and it worries me. Fingers crossed for it not having a detrimental effect on him later on.

I had this in reverse once. In a children's bookshop with dc2, who was just pottering around. She went over to another little girl and just stood near her, making eye contact. The mummy got very upset and said "BACK OFF, BACK OFF" and then said to me (in a very worried, concerned tone) she was worried that my child was over familiar and didn't give other children space. This was my third child so I didn't give a fig I was much more relaxed and gave the mum the MN tilted head nod.

My oldest was an absolute demon but mostly polite. However even now kids from her nursery say hello in the street and she goes mum they are not my friend I can’t even remember their name 🤦‍♀️😂 my youngest though is an absolute sweetheart and will probably be the victim of harsh kids avoiding him. It’s just a roll of the dice.

Phyllis you're back!!!

In reality though, use your inside...ahem I mean internal voice for this stuff, that way you won't alienate other normals.

Mine have all been little sods as toddlers.

My youngest is 20 months and has a face like she’s chewing a wasp most days.

She’s not that into other children.

@PivotPivotPivottt sending you a hug and a hand hold. My dd was diagnosed with selective mutism and it is heartbreaking to watch them struggle. Mine is 10 now and doing so much better. We got lots of help from the school and with time and patience from everyone involved in her life she is a different girl.

@Organictangerine

We all feel this way about our kids, OP. It’s called mummy goggles.

Yup I feel intense feelings if other children don't treat my children nicely especially when mine are being sweet and kind.

It's nothing against the other children really and my children aren't perfect, but it's the mother bear instinct.

@KERALA1

Other peoples kids are often a disappointment and far inferior to your own. Organic is right its mummy goggles.

This. My daughter stood back and watched even as a young baby / toddler. I couldn’t understand it - but she watches intently and their interactions and then chooses who to play with. She has the best bullshitter/ nasty/ control freak/ manipulative person radar on the planet. She susses them out pretty quickly, with those that enter her social group she waits pleasant but waits and holds back.

Recently a girl entered her social group, highly controlling, manipulative - she saw her for what she was and waited. When the girl picked on her she held her ground softly but assertively. When she picks in others she doesn’t stir the pot but enables others to see what she is doing and hold their ground.

Doesn’t make her any less sociable but she does choose her friends wisely and her words.

She always says I just what they do and what they say - you can I love you to someone as you are hurting them.

Sociable is great but mummy goggles are very real!

@mubarak86

I had this in reverse once. In a children's bookshop with dc2, who was just pottering around. She went over to another little girl and just stood near her, making eye contact. The mummy got very upset and said "BACK OFF, BACK OFF" and then said to me (in a very worried, concerned tone) she was worried that my child was over familiar and didn't give other children space. This was my third child so I didn't give a fig I was much more relaxed and gave the mum the MN tilted head nod.

My DD (almost 3) is hilarious, outgoing and has had great speech and language ability since about 18 months, she knows to say please and thank you and pardon me etc - not meant to sound boasty, she’s been slow in gross motor skills, potty training etc - but she is soooo different in public! Only now am I starting to see her come out her shell and play with/ interact intentionally with kids she meets in the park or at soft play. Even at nursery, where she’s been going since 10months old, she has taken a long long time to speak and fully join in when there. There is NOTHING wrong with this, she’s just developing her social skills and working out where and who she feels comfortable around. I would be really upset to think that someone else considered her rude or impolite etc at such a young age, because she didn’t say hello back to your child at a park! I don’t say hello to every person I meet in a day. YABVU!