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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My toddler is friendlier then others and it annoys me when others are not

216 replies

Lozzak21 · 15/04/2022 20:27

My ds has just turned 2 and is always full of smiles going up to other kids saying 'hi I'm xx' and trying to interact with toys and games etc at play groups or the park and I just feel like like other kids his age aren't as friendly as him and it's sometimes not very reciprocal. He is a such a sweet little boy and there would be no obvious reason why other kids aren't as friendly back.
He's about to start pre school so just hoping his joyful, happy, confident little self is embraced there.
Anyone else felt this way? Or is it normal at this age for other kids to be a bit 'off' with kids they don't know.

OP posts:
Traumdeuter · 15/04/2022 20:57

As other posters have said, that’s developmentally normal. I went to a “party” at nursery this afternoon featuring a group of 2-3 year olds - the younger ones, including my DS, just tottered around doing their own thing, no interest in the games and crafts for more than a few seconds. DS is 2 and a bit and will sometimes acknowledge other children who come right up to him, or who try to offer/take a toy or something, but he doesn’t speak to them. Never stops chatting to me though.

EllaVaNight · 15/04/2022 20:58

YABVU to be annoyed at toddlers for not being exactly the same as your child. Very strange to expect them to be. Also they are still developing and haven't yet refined their social and language skills.

These kids are wayyyyy too much for my shy DD, she looks so awkward when a “spirited” child launches themselves at her / follows her around soft play / gives her a hug

Respect the boundaries pls people You're the same as the OP though in not realising toddlers aren't fully developed yet (some may never be able to achieve "standard social/language skills). Most can't "respect boundaries", toddlers think the world revolves around them!

ButtockUp · 15/04/2022 20:59

Just wait.

SpaceFarce · 15/04/2022 21:01

Grin This is so sweetly PFB!

Steelesauce · 15/04/2022 21:02

@organictangerine well, if they want to make a goady post, expect a bitchy reply Grin it is mumsnet after all!

NotQuiteUsual · 15/04/2022 21:02

I mean my DD at 2 couldn't speak and just pointed at any child who approached whilst screaming making intense eye contact.

She didnt owe any child her friendship and good for her maintaining social distancing at the height of covid despite her age.

Ludo19 · 15/04/2022 21:03

I think he sounds cute OP. I love chatty kids but then I'm an adult. Maybe a bit unreasonable to expect all 2yr olds to reciprocate in the same way. But your wee boy sounds lovely and I think it's pretty disgusting some posters on here branding a toddler annoying, big mouth etc etc etc.

BobHadBitchTits · 15/04/2022 21:03

A humble brag and a dig at other kids in one post? Bravo.

eachtigertires · 15/04/2022 21:03

YABU. They’re toddlers. Mine is only 17 months now but she’s going through a sociable phase. She can’t speak yet but she’ll offer a handful of rocks or similar to almost any random child or adult with a smile. A couple of months ago she would scream at anyone who so much as looked at her and be absolutely inconsolable. Sometimes she likes to chase older kids. Sometimes that’s ok and sometimes they don’t want to be chased so she has to be removed. One kids sociable is another kids annoying.

HRTQueen · 15/04/2022 21:04

Other peoples kids are often a disappointment and far inferior to your own

Grin how very true that did make me laugh

Don’t worry op he will be fine other little children are just as wonderful to their mummy but as you know they are not as wonderful as your little boy

MyCatIsAJerk · 15/04/2022 21:04

When I was five, on the very first day of school ever, I was drawn like a magnet to a very shy little girl who was staring at her shoes. She found it impossible to look up.
I was very outgoing and friendly.
We’re still best friends sixty years later.
People are different, @Lozzak21 — that doesn’t make them better or worse — it makes them different.

WhateverIdo · 15/04/2022 21:06

Just turned 2? My kid won't tell you his name, he will however name all the paw patrol... Chase, masul,cocky, wubble, kye and um.....

He may also bite you if you piss him off... Hats off to you 🤷

ShirleyPhallus · 15/04/2022 21:06

@EllaVaNight

YABVU to be annoyed at toddlers for not being exactly the same as your child. Very strange to expect them to be. Also they are still developing and haven't yet refined their social and language skills.

These kids are wayyyyy too much for my shy DD, she looks so awkward when a “spirited” child launches themselves at her / follows her around soft play / gives her a hug

Respect the boundaries pls people You're the same as the OP though in not realising toddlers aren't fully developed yet (some may never be able to achieve "standard social/language skills). Most can't "respect boundaries", toddlers think the world revolves around them!

Cannot roll my eyes hard enough at this

My “respect the boundaries” comment was aimed at the OP, not at the toddlers who have no idea

Caspianberg · 15/04/2022 21:06

Mine can’t even say his Name yet, let alone ‘Hi, my name is x’

His new thing is going up to people and just saying ‘chase’, then expecting them to run after him.

YoBeaches · 15/04/2022 21:07

They all develop social skills differently. Yours for example may not have yet brought security into their thinking and so is friendly with everyone until such a point they learn stranger danger.

Luredbyapomegranate · 15/04/2022 21:07

@Organictangerine

We all feel this way about our kids, OP. It’s called mummy goggles.
Grin
Organictangerine · 15/04/2022 21:07

[quote Steelesauce]@organictangerine well, if they want to make a goady post, expect a bitchy reply Grin it is mumsnet after all![/quote]
I don’t think it was goady, just a bit PFB! So many awful stories about kids being abused in the news lately, if OP’s crime is loving her kid so much she believes he’s the sweetest most socially advanced little boy ever, I can’t get too worked up about it 🤷🏼‍♀️

Those of you inferring her son is annoying/hobby etc just because his mum wrote a cringey thread, shame on you.

LifeIsHardAlways · 15/04/2022 21:08

Be glad your son is as he is and don’t judge others 🤷🏻‍♀️My son has autism and nonverbal, to people that don’t know him they think he’s rude, in your case you’d think he’s wilfully ignoring your son. My little boy can’t help it, you don’t know what other children have going on with them

Organictangerine · 15/04/2022 21:08

*gobby 🙄

MrsSkylerWhite · 15/04/2022 21:08

The obvious reason is that toddlers are individuals, just as children and adults are. Not all are extrovert.

You’ve really no business in being annoyed with them. He’ll meet a like-minded soul one day and they’ll click.

Luredbyapomegranate · 15/04/2022 21:09

@MyCatIsAJerk

When I was five, on the very first day of school ever, I was drawn like a magnet to a very shy little girl who was staring at her shoes. She found it impossible to look up. I was very outgoing and friendly. We’re still best friends sixty years later. People are different, *@Lozzak21 — that doesn’t make them better or worse — it makes them different.*
@MyCatIsAJerk

That is lovely to hear!

Toomuchtrouble4me · 15/04/2022 21:09

My DOB was too friendly, he’d want to hug and kiss other children and he was a bit overpowering. He got a lot of rejection. The next was a miserable little madam who’d cry if you looked at her, she rejected the smilers. They are 22 and 24 now and happy we’ll balanced adults with good social skills.
Don’t sweat it.

Qwill · 15/04/2022 21:10

“Mummy goggles” sums up everything!! I have the most perfect little babies and I’m always astounded why when they reach to touch a stranger with their grubby little lunch hands why people recoil - they just to make new friends!! Oh wait, that’s me - don’t touch me with your little tomatoey fingers and stop yelling when I try and clean them. Such wonderful darlings!! 😂

lightand · 15/04/2022 21:12

Since the op has not come back....
You can tell this is a first time mum.

LividLaVidaLoca · 15/04/2022 21:12

Mine doesn’t like other kids he doesn’t know anywhere near him.

Sits atop the Little Tyke slide in soft play shouting “MY slide! MY slide!” if anyone comes within ten feet.

Don’t think they’d get on. I’m working on it.