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AIBU?

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Original poster

My toddler is friendlier then others and it annoys me when others are not

216 replies

Lozzak21 · 15/04/2022 20:27

My ds has just turned 2 and is always full of smiles going up to other kids saying 'hi I'm xx' and trying to interact with toys and games etc at play groups or the park and I just feel like like other kids his age aren't as friendly as him and it's sometimes not very reciprocal. He is a such a sweet little boy and there would be no obvious reason why other kids aren't as friendly back.
He's about to start pre school so just hoping his joyful, happy, confident little self is embraced there.
Anyone else felt this way? Or is it normal at this age for other kids to be a bit 'off' with kids they don't know.

OP posts:
Sponge19 · 15/04/2022 21:28

Ha. You’re definitely wearing mummy goggles

PurpleNebula84 · 15/04/2022 21:29

STTE.
It's just ages- most kids at 2 aren't very sociable and mostly play independently alongside their peers.
You are also not doing anything wrong and it's lovely that your DS is trying to expand his social skills and is approaching other kids - encourage it, there's always a chance it's reciprocal.
It's not easy - my DD has been similar for a while and got really upset if kids didn't always want to play. She generally ended up playing with older kids.

TheMarzipanDildo · 15/04/2022 21:29

I didn’t really speak at 2, but my best friend could sing operatically, her mother told mine

We didn’t see much of each other after that (!)

Buttons294749 · 15/04/2022 21:30

Grin bless you OP you've made me smile. I honestly can't work out why my kids are so much more perfect than other people's either 🤣

Dickopf · 15/04/2022 21:30

My toddlers were better than yours, OP. In fact, they were better in every possible way than any toddlers ever born (especially PFB, who is now the most staggeringly amazing 21 yr old ever born, and woe betide anyone who can't see it).

Okaaaay · 15/04/2022 21:31

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to feel hurt when a child ignores your child’s lovely approach. I still hurt inside when my children wave and someone doesn’t wave back Smile. It’s just a feeling to be acknowledged. Obviously you need to recognise it as such, not act on it or start to project this into the future - their interactions between 2-4 change massively.

MaryShelley1818 · 15/04/2022 21:32

Your toddler is not "friendlier" than others. Being developmentally normal or shy or naturally cautious of strangers does not make a child not friendly.
As your child gets older they'll develop the skills needed to be able to be a little more subtle but as they're only 2, it's your job to do this.
My DS can be bossy, too confident and "in your face" He's kind and has lovely manners but everyone he meets he expects to be his new best friend and play with him. He's a happy, friendly little soul but that's overbearing for lots of other children. If a child doesn't want to play with him we teach him that's ok, to respect other children and learn when he should leave other kids alone. It's a work in progress.

Dramaticpenguin · 15/04/2022 21:33

Yep, as others have said, yours is very unusual. Normal behaviour is to look at other toddlers, maybe consider whether what they're holding looks better than what you've got and then try to take it, or just ignore totally and possibly climb over them like they're not there. Or maybe just push them over to see what happens.

I run a childcare business and have three boys of my own, they're not usually friendly til at least 2.5 and not actually friends til 3 x

MissChanandlerBong80 · 15/04/2022 21:34

Quite advanced to be introducing himself to strangers using the first person when he’s just turned two.

Anyway. Your toddler is inferior to my toddler.

Marvel23 · 15/04/2022 21:36

My ds was like that and he still word vomits all over everyone at 7years old. I have to remind him to let others speak (and listen). He has ADHD but once the other children at school got used to how full on he can be and his excitment settled he made lots of friends.

Chihuahuapower · 15/04/2022 21:36

My DC who has just turned 2 wouldn't reply to your child. Not because she isn't friendly: she hasn't got the language to reciprocate such a greeting.

waterboats · 15/04/2022 21:37

Op It's actually quite amusing thinking about you getting irritated with random toddlers because they are unable to interact with your son in a way you deem beneficial to him, especially when what you are hoping for is not realistic for any age group, let alone for toddlers!

squishymamma · 15/04/2022 21:37

Definitely using mummy goggles Easter Grin

I remember once when DS1 was about 18 months old, we were at a playground and he tried to give a toy to a little girl who looked terrified. Her older sister glared at DS1 and dragged her off, and I was heartbroken for poor DS1 who had just suffered such a rejection. He obviously didn't give a stuff and carried on playing. But it sat with me for ages...

Now at just over 2 years old he goes around grabbing toys off his "friends" and point blank ignores kids he doesn't know, unless they're about to go on the slide and he's decided he wants to go on the slide - then they get shoved to one side (obviously we're working on this). All sympathy I had for him is well gone Grin

Marynotsocontrary · 15/04/2022 21:37

I don't think it's unreasonable to feel anxious if a child responds coolly to your DC's efforts at friendliness. It's normal to worry about them being hurt and to want them to get on socially. I think you've maybe just worded this poorly OP...to speak of being annoyed at two year olds for their poor social skills is a bit over the top.

tiredanddangerous · 15/04/2022 21:37

Yup your kid is better than everyone else's kid op. Fuck me.

FlibbertyGiblets · 15/04/2022 21:39

Some children with poor attachment can appear very confident and friendly.

roseberrycherry · 15/04/2022 21:41

I'd worry if that was my child op.

Giraffesandbottoms · 15/04/2022 21:41

@AlbaGirl8

My DD (almost 3) is hilarious, outgoing and has had great speech and language ability since about 18 months, she knows to say please and thank you and pardon me etc - that sounds pretty normal to me!

FloraPostePosts · 15/04/2022 21:42

@Giraffesandbottoms

Depending on the day, my child will either be beautifully social and wonderful, or make a horrible face and quite possibly say loudly “I don’t want to play with you”. That’s parenting!

What annoys me a lot more is if my child politely says hello to an adult and the adult ignores them like a miserable bastard 😃 it’s hard to explain to a 2/3 year old that some people are just dicks

Not sure it’s a good idea to encourage toddlers to go up to strangers and start a conversation…

I might smile, but I wouldn’t be likely to respond. I find that at that age their debating skills are still somewhat lacking, they tend not to use the whole range of rhetorical devices, and they have very poor grasp of litotes.

SadMum12345 · 15/04/2022 21:43

Mine was the same but there was defo a stage where he was thrilled others came up to him but he honestly didn't know how to respond, he'd just look at me and smile a huge smile. It will be easier as they get older. Also, I find it he's with someone a little older they often fill the gaps and kind of teach him how to interact x

pupcakes · 15/04/2022 21:45

@Organictangerine

We all feel this way about our kids, OP. It’s called mummy goggles.
Haha, this! Love it when the first comment is THE BEST!

PFB is a thing. Smile

AlbaGirl8 · 15/04/2022 21:46

@Giraffesandbottoms I know this 🙄 that’s what I was saying. I’m not boasting (trust me I’m not - didn’t crawl at all, didn’t climb well, isn’t potty trained yet, 3 next week. All children develop at their own rate). I just meant she could speak well and clearly from a young age, and she now has good manners, but in regards to OP post it doesn’t mean she’d show them particularly in park towards a stranger. That’s all.

Giraffesandbottoms · 15/04/2022 21:48

@FloraPostePosts

Not sure it’s a good idea to encourage toddlers to go up to strangers and start a conversation

Who said encouraging? When you’re in a cafe in a queue and they just say “good morning!” To someone and get totally ignored…of course I explained stranger danger etc but it’s quite a tricky concept for a 2 year old 😬 and does make some adults look so miserable

Hangthetowels · 15/04/2022 21:49

Sorry, definitely mummy goggles. Hilarious!

Isahlo · 15/04/2022 21:50

Not only are these children tiny
They’ve lived their entire lives in a restricted version of society
I work with pregnant women and new mums, and have an upper respiratory condition and my best friends son who we spend a lot of time with has muscular dystrophy and gets very poorly when ill. that means I’ve had to be really careful around covid and as a part of that my daughter hasn’t socialised much.
People don’t have to want or like your kid