My toddler is friendlier then others and it annoys me when others are not

[Lozzak21]

My ds has just turned 2 and is always full of smiles going up to other kids saying 'hi I'm xx' and trying to interact with toys and games etc at play groups or the park and I just feel like like other kids his age aren't as friendly as him and it's sometimes not very reciprocal. He is a such a sweet little boy and there would be no obvious reason why other kids aren't as friendly back.
He's about to start pre school so just hoping his joyful, happy, confident little self is embraced there.
Anyone else felt this way? Or is it normal at this age for other kids to be a bit 'off' with kids they don't know.

I really didn't mean to offend anyone.
As someone pointed out I admit the title of this thread was poorly worded on my behalf.
I was quite shy and experienced some bullying at school myself so perhaps these perceived rejections towards ds are stirring something unresolved in me.
I am new to mumsnet. Lesson learnt.

@ReadyToMoveIt gosh I hear you. My daughter is 8, non verbal. I would have loved to have the problem of her being too friendly and social me but sadly it never happened.

OP sorry and all but you do need to get a grip, be glad your child is developmentally on track and able to communicate. He will make lots of friends, you can't expect everyone to be the same.

Unfriendly is a little harsh given you won't know the circumstances of any child that yours interact with.

My youngest has selective mutism and doesn't interact with his peers, it certainly doesn't make him unfriendly.

Although the children in his class are more than chatty, I am so thankful the children see him for who he is and never exclude him. Perhaps you could teach your child that not everyone likes to use their voice!

FYI I am sure your little one is lovely and it's sweet that he wants to chatter to others but before judging, please remember not everyone is the same.

@Herewegoagain84

Two year olds don’t play together - they haven’t reached that developmental stage. The other toddlers are being normal.

@Herewegoagain84 her toddler does, he’s more advanced socially than all the others she’s encountered. The other toddlers are being rude to him also. Hopefully the standard of toddlers at preschool will be much higher

[quote Giraffesandbottoms]@FloraPostePosts

Not sure it’s a good idea to encourage toddlers to go up to strangers and start a conversation

Who said encouraging? When you’re in a cafe in a queue and they just say “good morning!” To someone and get totally ignored…of course I explained stranger danger etc but it’s quite a tricky concept for a 2 year old 😬 and does make some adults look so miserable[/quote]
Not every adult likes children, finds them cute, or knows how to interact with them. It’s not compulsory.

Not everyone has the bandwidth available to make nice with somebody else’s child. It does no harm to learn that other people have lives too and that toddlers aren’t, despite what they think (and, too often, their parents too), the centre of the universe.

That ‘miserable’ adult might be thinking about the hospital visit to a dying relative they have to make that afternoon, or whether their test results will come back clear, or if they have forgotten to lock the front door, or planning their questions for a job interview, or trying to remember what was on the shopping list they’ve so helpfully left behind.

You might have caught them off guard, and they are pained by having to interact with small children, after years of failed fertility treatment (hello, yes).

I know it sounds awful, but your child is nowhere near as important to a random stranger as they are to you.

I wouldn't say my 2yo is super friendly and sociable however when he sees kids playing with a football or something he will want to go up to them and join in. Usually older kids. And almost every time they've kind of moved away from him or just not wanted to engage so I can see what you mean. Just today in the park, as a reverse, he was playing with a toy and this little girl, a few years older, came to play with it too. I However her mum came straight over, didn't even acknowledge the two of us and forced her daughter away. I said it was fine, dc can share it, but she didn't even look at me and asked her daughter to leave. Not in a hostile way but like we were invisible. Perhaps she felt she didn't want to impose but it really was fine as I said. So I guess it can come from parents too. That they aren't 'allowed' to play with strange children their parents don't know. I do find people can be unwelcoming. But then maybe that's the culture? In my husbands home country it's the total opposite. Actually during the peak of covid etc we went to the park and a little boy actually came over and kissed him as he was so cute! so opposite end of the spectrum lol

@Marynotsocontrary

This spunds like you're criticising other toddlers for being shy, OP.

Was going to say this too. My little boy is extremely shy.

My son is autistic.

He finds it very painfully difficult to socialise.

He's loving and friendly and kind. But he finds it very hard no matter how perfect and friendly other kids might be.

Hope this helps stop you judging other kids by your own kids standards.

@Organictangerine

We all feel this way about our kids, OP. It’s called mummy goggles.

Agree. I can imagine a mumsnet thread 'a pushy oarent kept trying to get my toddler tonplay with hers!'

@FloraPostePosts

Of course my child isn’t as important to a stranger - but if I said good morning to a stranger I would also think it’s pretty rude if they ignored me. Children are people too. It’s nothing to do with finding children adorable etc and just basic manners. No matter what I’ve gone through I’ve been able to remember to say please and thank you etc and reply when someone is talking to me.

Same!!!! My little one goes up to others and says hello and they straight ignore her. Makes me want to cry but it'll get easier as they get older!! (I hope!)

@Lozzak21

I really didn't mean to offend anyone. As someone pointed out I admit the title of this thread was poorly worded on my behalf. I was quite shy and experienced some bullying at school myself so perhaps these perceived rejections towards ds are stirring something unresolved in me. I am new to mumsnet. Lesson learnt.

Easily done OP and I’m sorry you had a rough experience in school. Your DS sounds utterly lovely. Might be worth having a read around age appropriate behaviour and social development in 2 year olds - hopefully the very, very wide range of normal will put your mind at ease that it’s nothing personal.

@zeroinspiration

This is actually a very upsetting post. My child is 3.5 years old and all he can manage is a 'Hi' and not always. He has never introduced himself and he only started recently to use more words. He has speech and development delay. Be greatful your child can do that and perhaps be more compassionate that other kids aren't there yet and frankly they might never get there.

I am sorry to hear this but tbh I think the op is over exaggerating. On a forum full of parents, how many can honestly say, they know of a JUST turned two year old, to go up to a stranger, be able to initiate and play WITH a stranger and say hi my name is.......? All at once. Take everything with a pinch of salt on here

[quote Giraffesandbottoms]@FloraPostePosts

Of course my child isn’t as important to a stranger - but if I said good morning to a stranger I would also think it’s pretty rude if they ignored me. Children are people too. It’s nothing to do with finding children adorable etc and just basic manners. No matter what I’ve gone through I’ve been able to remember to say please and thank you etc and reply when someone is talking to me.[/quote]

@WeDontShutUpAboutBruno

Mary, that you?

Must be hard birthing the next messiah, but give us mere mortals a bit of a break.

🤣🤣🤣

[quote Giraffesandbottoms]@FloraPostePosts

Of course my child isn’t as important to a stranger - but if I said good morning to a stranger I would also think it’s pretty rude if they ignored me. Children are people too. It’s nothing to do with finding children adorable etc and just basic manners. No matter what I’ve gone through I’ve been able to remember to say please and thank you etc and reply when someone is talking to me.[/quote]
I don't like when young children try and interact with me because you can never gauge how their parents will respond to your responses.

Neither of mine could talk at that age!

@Giraffesandbottoms so what about children or even adults who have selective mutism or non verbal or any other social anxiety that prevents them from responding.

My son certainly knows his manners and will use his please and thank yous at home but certain situations, he simply can't, to imply he is being rude is simple ignorance!

@Giraffesandbottoms FYI regarding my previous post my child has selective mutism and would not respond to a stranger or peer speaking to him!

One of my kids was speech delayed. I remember her going up to a boy (when she was nearly 4 and could actually talk) and saying “hello!” And the boy visibly moved backwards. It was heartbreaking for me to see but it’s a lesson in social skills. Not everyone wants to say hello.

YABU and unbelievably precious but I think you’ve seen that now! Your child sounds lovely.😊

My eldest has always had a very outgoing, confident personality and as a toddler it was hard to watch how her peers would sometimes react to her, she was absolutely fine when she started nursery and has never had any problems making friends. Her little sister on the other hand is the complete opposite and doesn't want to interact with anyone - covid hasn't helped this at all - she is just naturally very shy and prefers to observe from a distance. She's slowly coming out of her shell and making some friends at the park, I'm 100% sure she will also be fine when she starts nursery. They all develop social skills at their own pace but it will come and your son won't be hindered at preschool.

My just turned 2 year old is completely incapable of saying her own name never mind stringing a sentence together, and if another child comes up to her she'd shout no and hide! And tbh I think that's perfectly normal other children are more of a hindrance to them at that age as they often have all the toys they one or are hogging the slide or the only swing

My toddler is the unfriendly one! He’s really cautious and wary of strangers and takes a while to warm up. It’s not rudeness, it’s nothing to do with the other child it’s about him and his comfort level with others in his personal space

Our 2 year old talks to everyone, literally everyone. She asks names, where they’re going, etc etc.

It’s not cute though, it’s a sad fact that because she came through the care system, and was moved around several times she’s looking for love and stability.

She’s more attached to us now, having been with us for a while. She is the unusual one though, most 2 year olds don’t ‘play’ with other kids. They play alongside due to their social skills not comprehending ‘friends’ yet.