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AIBU?

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Original poster

My toddler is friendlier then others and it annoys me when others are not

216 replies

Lozzak21 · 15/04/2022 20:27

My ds has just turned 2 and is always full of smiles going up to other kids saying 'hi I'm xx' and trying to interact with toys and games etc at play groups or the park and I just feel like like other kids his age aren't as friendly as him and it's sometimes not very reciprocal. He is a such a sweet little boy and there would be no obvious reason why other kids aren't as friendly back.
He's about to start pre school so just hoping his joyful, happy, confident little self is embraced there.
Anyone else felt this way? Or is it normal at this age for other kids to be a bit 'off' with kids they don't know.

OP posts:
ToryWantsBorisOut · 15/04/2022 22:26

My son was exactly like this up to about the age of 6. Today he informed me that he didn't want to do an activity I knew he'd really enjoy because there would be other kids there he didn't know and that he might have to talk to them. (He's still lovely though)

Giraffesandbottoms · 15/04/2022 22:27

@Wheelz46

The amount of people who ignore is far greater than the amount of people with mutism etc. it’s actually quite a high proportion of people! This isn’t really an issue now as my son is 3 and understands not to speak to strangers but when he was 2 during the pandemic bits where we came out of lockdown and he was pretty starved for interaction outside the home/we went for lots of walks etc it was very surprising and a bit sad.

And lol thanks for the biscuit @strrawberriesandcream , what an engaging and insightful response

EmeraldShamrock1 · 15/04/2022 22:28

Awh he'll find similar friends.

My DS was a grumpy unfriendly DC he'd no interest in anyone else until he was 6.

Giraffesandbottoms · 15/04/2022 22:30

@girlmom21

This is a good point, hadn’t thought of that

FizzyBiscuits · 15/04/2022 22:32

My kid couldn't talk at that age... he'd only learnt to walk a few months before!

strrawberriesandcream · 15/04/2022 22:33

[quote Giraffesandbottoms]@Wheelz46

The amount of people who ignore is far greater than the amount of people with mutism etc. it’s actually quite a high proportion of people! This isn’t really an issue now as my son is 3 and understands not to speak to strangers but when he was 2 during the pandemic bits where we came out of lockdown and he was pretty starved for interaction outside the home/we went for lots of walks etc it was very surprising and a bit sad.

And lol thanks for the biscuit @strrawberriesandcream , what an engaging and insightful response[/quote]
Very insightful of you to suggest that it's all to do with basic manners.

Clueless.

Justkidding55 · 15/04/2022 22:35

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

strrawberriesandcream · 15/04/2022 22:36

[quote Wheelz46]@Giraffesandbottoms so what about children or even adults who have selective mutism or non verbal or any other social anxiety that prevents them from responding.

My son certainly knows his manners and will use his please and thank yous at home but certain situations, he simply can't, to imply he is being rude is simple ignorance![/quote]
This

PurpleRainbowSun · 15/04/2022 22:41

I know how you feel as Ive been there with the friendly toddler being rejected (although he's now shy) but also you can't really take the behaviour of 2 year olds personally.

EmeraldShamrock1 · 15/04/2022 22:41

Early childcare providers will also also tell you DC don't really play together age 2/3 they play alongside unless it's a teacher lead activity.

If you're disappointed DS will mirror your responses, if you see the other DC isn't interested you step in and distract DS saves everyone's discomfort.

Milomonster · 15/04/2022 22:42

Very PFB and boasty.

My DS was the most anti-social and clingy child alive at 2. At 11, he is now a wonderfully confident, articulate, charming boy who can hold a conversation better than a lot of adults. Don’t write off kids who you perceive to be socially inferior. You seem to be lacking enormously in basic understanding of human differences. I hope your child doesn’t grow up to be self-centered.

WhoAre · 15/04/2022 22:42

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Milomonster · 15/04/2022 22:45

@WhoAre Grin best description of toddlers I’ve ever read!

Isitsixoclockalready · 15/04/2022 22:48

@Lozzak21

I really didn't mean to offend anyone. As someone pointed out I admit the title of this thread was poorly worded on my behalf. I was quite shy and experienced some bullying at school myself so perhaps these perceived rejections towards ds are stirring something unresolved in me. I am new to mumsnet. Lesson learnt.
I didn't read your post as boasty or anything like that - some of the responses have not been very nice imo. Don't worry, it is early stages for your son - I wouldn't think that he'd even be capable of taking it personally at his age if other children don't always want to play. I can totally understand you feeling protective but if he's as friendly and outgoing when he gets older then I'm sure that he won't struggle for friends.
Sh05 · 15/04/2022 22:49

My DD is 2 and a half, up until around 6 weeks ago she'd take anyone's hand, wave bye bye to me and start walking off which was terrifying for me, now she's super shy, which I think at this age is more normal.
I don't expect her to play with someone other than her siblings but she will copy and follow others who she doesn't know like at the park or similar.

NewYorkCityDreamer · 15/04/2022 22:49

@Giraffesandbottoms
I’m not sure I’d speak to your child if they spoke to me. I used to… until I was in ASDA once and a little boy in a trolley said “Hello pink coat lady” and I replied something along the lines of “Hello! Aren’t your Spider-Man wellies snazzy?” And the parent replied with “don’t you speak to my child you fucking creep” Hmm I’m autistic and I’m 23, I was 21 at the time and standing a good metre away and he spoke to me!! It put me right off though as I don’t want to be shouted at again. I’d never have randomly spoken to a child but he spoke to me!

oakleaffy · 15/04/2022 22:51

@Didiplanthis

Also I'm 48 and if someone comes up beaming saying 'Hi I'm X'... I still want to run and hide in a cupboard .
😂🆘🆘🆘🆘🆘😳👍
DemoralisedNow · 15/04/2022 22:56

I think I get where you're coming from, OP. My toddler is really outgoing and always so hopeful about making friends, so I do always feel a bit sad for her that other toddlers often don't feel the same way. That doesn't say anything about the other kids, they don't have to play with her if they don't want to. But it is a bit sad to see the disappointment.

CPL593H · 15/04/2022 22:58

@Lozzak21

I really didn't mean to offend anyone. As someone pointed out I admit the title of this thread was poorly worded on my behalf. I was quite shy and experienced some bullying at school myself so perhaps these perceived rejections towards ds are stirring something unresolved in me. I am new to mumsnet. Lesson learnt.
It possibly is that, @Lozzak21. Try to remember that they are very tiny, all different and they aren't bullying him. He sounds outgoing and will soon make some friends, I'm sure.
oakleaffy · 15/04/2022 23:00

@Rachie1973

Our 2 year old talks to everyone, literally everyone. She asks names, where they’re going, etc etc.

It’s not cute though, it’s a sad fact that because she came through the care system, and was moved around several times she’s looking for love and stability.

She’s more attached to us now, having been with us for a while. She is the unusual one though, most 2 year olds don’t ‘play’ with other kids. They play alongside due to their social skills not comprehending ‘friends’ yet.

Poor little girl.. Attachment Disorder? That “over friendliness” is so telling. Superficial friendliness stemming from deeply unsettling formative years :(
Footlooseandfree · 15/04/2022 23:04

Wow. Yabu.

Babyvenusplant · 15/04/2022 23:31

[quote NewYorkCityDreamer]@Giraffesandbottoms
I’m not sure I’d speak to your child if they spoke to me. I used to… until I was in ASDA once and a little boy in a trolley said “Hello pink coat lady” and I replied something along the lines of “Hello! Aren’t your Spider-Man wellies snazzy?” And the parent replied with “don’t you speak to my child you fucking creep” Hmm I’m autistic and I’m 23, I was 21 at the time and standing a good metre away and he spoke to me!! It put me right off though as I don’t want to be shouted at again. I’d never have randomly spoken to a child but he spoke to me![/quote]
That's awful! I'm sure most parents wouldn't speak to you like that, I certainly wouldn't

Bornsloppy · 15/04/2022 23:31

I really like the standoffish DGAF attitude my two have. They've got better things to do than chat to other toddlers, like attempting to break out of the park while I'm not looking.

Abouttimemum · 15/04/2022 23:40

I just hosted a party for my 3-year-old with all his nursery pals, and all 25 of them just ran around playing on their own bar the end when they danced and sang some songs. I think it’s quite unusual for a 2-year-old to be so sociable.

I’m in my 40s and I still hate interacting mind 😂

Teenagehorrorbag · 15/04/2022 23:55

Ha ha - they are all different. I do think your DS is unusually 'sociable' from what you've said. A relative recently sent a video of their baby at a playground, and in the background you can hear the three year old sister saying her name over and over again. Apparently another child was annoying her by just calling her 'girl'! Grin. They really won't have reliable social skills for years.....