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Original poster

Do you wake sleeping teens or leave them be?

182 replies

Meltinthemiddle · 15/04/2022 10:59

I have two teens and both sleep in past pm if you let them and I was exactly the same. Dh (ex military) thinks they should up, dressed and fed by as soon as we are up. I think they need their sleep and waking a sleeping teen is like like waking sleeping baby! I do however stir them just before 12 so that they can eat at lunch and aren't skipping meals. What do you do?

OP posts:
OnlyTheBravest · 15/04/2022 17:09

During holidays, as long as they are not needed for anything. Mine will start to surface anywhere between 12pm - 2pm but are up to the early hours instead. They are busy term time with after school activities and homework, so I have no issues with them structuring their own day. They even have their phones overnight!

Only rule is not to wake either their Dad or I up. As we are still working and need a full night's sleep.

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 15/04/2022 17:53

If someone wants to spend their downtime sleeping or napping, why is that any less legitimate than someone who spends theirs rock-climbing, hiking or knitting jumpers for homeless kittens?

@fairylightsandwaxmelts I want to knit some jumpers for homeless kittens! In fact that might be the one thing that I would give up a nap for Wink

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 15/04/2022 18:09

@WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles

If someone wants to spend their downtime sleeping or napping, why is that any less legitimate than someone who spends theirs rock-climbing, hiking or knitting jumpers for homeless kittens?

@fairylightsandwaxmelts I want to knit some jumpers for homeless kittens! In fact that might be the one thing that I would give up a nap for Wink

You can genuinely knit jumpers for penguins Grin

penguinfoundation.org.au/get-involved/penguin-jumpers

ohthejoys · 15/04/2022 18:25

I’m a “get them up” mum! I think a routine is important for their natural rhythm! It helps slot with mental health and physical health! I really try to get them to walk in daylight every day too just for 20 minutes!! Otherwise I find they’re up half the night and that’s when all those worries and self doubts sneak in!!

Giraffesandbottoms · 15/04/2022 18:30

It’s so mean to wake them up unless they have something they need to actually be up for. This is what being a teenager is for/about. They want to sleep - let them! Agree with a PP waking them up early is a control thing. They have school
To get up for then soon enough will have jobs.

WildFlowerBees · 15/04/2022 18:32

I'm always up around 5.30am can't understand how people are able to sleep so long, we used to let dsd sleep otherwise she'd be really grumpy plus we could just get stuff done.

BanjoKnickers · 15/04/2022 21:43

I'm always up around 5.30am can't understand how people are able to sleep so long

It's mutual Grin

Tumbleweed101 · 15/04/2022 21:50

If it's holidays and we have no plans they can sleep as long as they want. Teens have a different sleep cycle to children and adults.

MrsPnut · 15/04/2022 21:59

My DD has a paper round which has to be completed by 8:30 no matter the day. She gets up at 5:45 during the week in term time and 7:00 at the weekends and holidays.
She does sometimes go back to bed during the holidays but she needs the sleep.
She plays sport, does her homework, revises and joins us for some social stuff so I’m not worried.

MondeoFan · 15/04/2022 22:02

Wake them about 11.30am if no plans that day. My one is capable of getting up if needed, or quite happy to sleep in. I think teens need their sleep

Titsywoo · 15/04/2022 22:04

I let them sleep. They wake up early during school time with no issues but in the holidays/on weekends they are asleep and awake when it suits them. DD17 works part time so often gets up early on weekend days anyway but she has lots of online friends who live abroad and they are online playing games much later so she can stay up till 2am when it suits her without worrying I'll be dragging her out of bed at 7am! I trust my teens and generally they make sensible decisions!

Cuphalffullor · 15/04/2022 22:08

Turn the hoover on or bang around by 11 unless there’s a good reason, eg party night before, and then I’d wake for lunch.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 15/04/2022 22:17

@Cuphalffullor

Turn the hoover on or bang around by 11 unless there’s a good reason, eg party night before, and then I’d wake for lunch.
See, I find this behaviour so passive aggressive.

If you want them to be up by a certain time - why can't you just communicate with them rather than slam around like a toddler having a tantrum?

KnackeredNurse · 15/04/2022 22:18

This thread is reassuring. My mum used to wake me at 8am weekends and school holidays, else I'd be "wasting the day".

Even as an adult mid 20s+, she came to stay with me for a few months. I worked nights. She would deliberately slam doors and bang on walls at 9-10am. When I asked her to stop, she said "but it's morning and you should be up". I'd only got to bed 2hrs previously!!

Tee20x · 15/04/2022 22:19

Never understand stuff like this. Surely you just leave them to sleep unless there's a particular reason they need to be up?

Imagine yourself wanting to have an early night but someone keeping you awake "just because" or it's the evening so you "should be awake".

HairyMuttttt · 15/04/2022 22:21

I wake mine around 10 or 10.30 so that their body clock doesn’t get thrown out too much

Kite22 · 15/04/2022 22:22

I can’t see how waking up at 2pm is compatible with, for example, achieving good exam results or holding down a job

I have 3 dc. 2 have graduated and the other is still at university (currently working towards a 1st).
One of my dc works in the emergency services - earlys, lates, and nights. They sleep the opposite times, oddly enough. It is a "good job", but they don't get up at 8am or 9am any day.

One is now in a 9-5 "good" graduate job and gets up just fine. As a teen, she could sleep in until 3pm if she didn't need to be anywhere. The youngest works a night shift 9pm until 5am or 6am, so sleeps in until about 3pm or 4pm 3 days a week, whilst also studying (and doing well at her studies).

I also am not totally convinced that this “science” that dictates that they need to spend 24 hours a day in bed is credible.

Nobody has said anybody needs to spend 24 hours in bed Confused

No one thinks twice about doing that for a baby or adult that needs rest.

Exactly. If a person remains asleep, it is because their body needs sleep. Why on earth would you deprive them of that ?

whatdodos · 15/04/2022 22:23

I don't have teenagers (yet) but I always wished my mum would let me sleep in in the weekends. I was never allowed in bed past 9am no matter the day of the week time of the year! Even now as an adult if I ever stay with her I feel so pressured to be up and dressed by a certain time were as at my house my toddler and I happily laze in our pyjamas until lunch sometimes! Basically, let them sleep Grin

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 15/04/2022 22:23

@Tee20x

Never understand stuff like this. Surely you just leave them to sleep unless there's a particular reason they need to be up?

Imagine yourself wanting to have an early night but someone keeping you awake "just because" or it's the evening so you "should be awake".

Exactly. It just smacks of being hugely controlling for no reason at all

If someone tried to passively aggressively wake me up by vacuuming and banging about I would be tempted to stay in bed even longer than I'd planned to just to piss them off, to be honest Grin

Cuphalffullor · 15/04/2022 22:24

@fairylightsandwaxmelts Fortunately have a great relationship with both my sons so it’s a bit of a joke in our house. But I know I’m lucky.

mejon · 15/04/2022 22:26

I wish! DD1 is 15 and is up before 6am almost every day - whether school day or holidays. She actually had a lie-in today until 6.30 but was awake earlier. DD2 is 11 but she's usually up by 8am at the latest in the holidays. I'm convinced they're not mine as I'd happily sleep in until late morning given half a chance Grin.

Changingmynameyetagain · 15/04/2022 22:36

I have 2 teens and a pre teen and I let them sleep as late as they want, but they all generally surface around lunchtime for food and sustenance.
They have to be up early on Saturday morning for a sports lesson so they only really sleep in on a Sunday morning anyway.
During the holidays I rarely plan anything in the morning so they can sleep in, everyone knows you don’t wake a sleeping teen!

Luredbyapomegranate · 15/04/2022 22:53

Noonish. Up for lunch certainly.

Teens have different sleep patterns, which your DH needs to understand. One theory is they need to separate from the tribe to grow up.

Itstheprinciple · 16/04/2022 08:37

Let them sleep! DD has always reverted to a late sleep pattern when not in the school routine ever since she was about 8 or 9. She takes after her dad. She struggles to get to sleep early. Sleep is such an important part of growth and development.

Coribosh · 16/04/2022 11:09

I can't believe someone actually said that sleeping was a hobby 😂😂 thank you though, I thought my life was boring until I read that! 😅

My teens would feel very hard done by reading this thread! They have to get up every-single-morning (whiney voice) to sort their ponies out unless one gives the other one a lie in!

They've always had animals (their choice) that they've had to get up early for so there's no staying up til 2am/sleeping in til 2pm in this house!