Page 4 | Do you wake sleeping teens or leave them be?

Meltinthemiddle · 2022-04-15T09:59:29+00:00

I have two teens and both sleep in past pm if you let them and I was exactly the same. Dh (ex military) thinks they should up, dressed and fed by as soon as we are up. I think they need their sleep and waking a sleeping teen is like like waking sleeping baby! I do however stir them just before 12 so that they can eat at lunch and aren't skipping meals. What do you do?

lonelynotalone · 15/04/2022 13:23

@Topseyt

I wouldn't have wanted mine to sleep much later than midday, so would probably have woken them then anyway.

11.30 - midday was roughly when they tended to surface at weekends though, sometimes earlier. Not an issue.

Why does your DH seem to think that they should be up at cock's fart?

Omg cock's fart! That's the best thing I've heard all day! I will definitely be using this!

I tend to let mine sleep on too if there is nothing planned. During term time she is so busy with school and sports that I let her catch up when she can. My DH also thinks it's lazy and they should be up and dressed. He's a farmer so I guess is used to that.

arethereanyleftatall · 15/04/2022 13:23

If you wake your child up not on a school day (even if it's noon), and presumably an alarm or whatever wakes them up for a school day, that means their body never ever gets a chance to sleep until it's naturally finished sleeping. I am not a scientist at all, but is that good for them? I remember reading somewhere that a natural body clock is more than 24 hours. So if you were in a cave with no watch or sun, amd tried to count the days, you're way under after a while.

Winedad · 15/04/2022 13:26

My parents were always on at me to be up as a teenager, then would just be mardy with me all morning. They were both ex military funnily enough. I very much believe in letting people sleep.

FunnysInLaJardin · 15/04/2022 13:29

I leave my 16yo and if he's not up by midday will go and see if I can wake him and tell him what time it is.

He is up at 7am every school day and so its nice for him to stay in bed when he can.

My 12yo though is naturally an early riser and is usually up by 8am.

I love a lie in and would naturally get up at 10am if I didn't have to go to work

familyissues12345 · 15/04/2022 13:30

I usually leave them unless there's something particular they need to get up for

Lizziekisss · 15/04/2022 13:30

I always let mine sleep. Can't see the point of forcing them awake - just because. It's different if they have something to, do or somewhere to be. Sleep is so so important, like decent food or exercise.

familyissues12345 · 15/04/2022 13:32

@Georgieporgie29

Well I would leave them to sleep but funnily enough my dh thinks they should be woken and he’s ex army too

It's interesting isn't it. One of DS1's friends (aged 18) has never been allowed to sleep in - unless unwell. He is expected to be up and showered by 9am at the latest. His Dad is an ex army child, and he's almost regimental in how he parents too.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 15/04/2022 13:36

Definitely let them sleep.

It's well documented that your body clock shifts as a teenager so it's natural/normal for them to want to sleep in later than adults.

Even as an adult I would be really pissed off if someone woke me up simply because they were awake and felt I should be too...

Favourodds · 15/04/2022 13:38

I don't have teenagers but just popping in as a sleepy, unregimented military family! My army husband would happily sleep until midday and his toddler care mornings are generally referred to as "lazy daddy time". And he is, broadly, extremely chaotic, disorganised and laid-back about life.

Maybe it only happens if their Dad was the sergeant major!

On topic - my mum always let me sleep until midday. Seemed fair.

LondonQueen · 15/04/2022 13:44

It's better to leave then to sleep, it's well documented that a change in circadian rhythm causes later sleep and wake times.

Seemssounfair · 15/04/2022 13:44

@iklboo

Let DS(16) sleep in the holidays. If we're going out anywhere I gently wake him up by stroking his arm / face. DH does the same. Then give him time to come round.

I would jump with fright and shout "what the fuck are you doing?" if I woke to anyone stroking my face 🤣

100problems · 15/04/2022 13:45

NEVER wake a sleeping teen.

kittensinthekitchen · 15/04/2022 13:45

13 yo has long standing issues with sleep, so generally gets to sleep as long as needed unless schedule dictates otherwise.
17 yo must be up and taken medication by a certain time (9 or 10am latest), and never goes back to bed afterwards, so I will wake if they are not up by around 9.30

Fizbosshoes · 15/04/2022 13:46

I don't know what would make my DC eye roll more - being woken up from teenage style sleep in general or being woken up by me "stroking his arm / face"

I wake both DC up by stroking their face/arm. DS likes it. DD hates it. She also hates DH method if waking her up which is calling her loudly and opening the blinds. She basically just hates being woken up. (Not unreasonable!)
DH usually wakes up by 6.30 whether it's a work day or not so I don't benefit by tweens/teens sleeping later.

When they were babies/toddlers I always looked forward to the day could wake them up and imagined it would be payback for the years of sleepless nights...but I actually I still don't like to wake them!

Thepeopleversuswork · 15/04/2022 13:49

I’m really going against the grain here and mine isn’t a teen yet and still wakes up at 7am…

But I find the idea of sleeping in until past noon so depressing. Such a huge waste of life. I’m a bit phobic about mega long lie/ins; sleeping later than 9 feels incredibly unnatural and I hate being in a house where all the adults sleep in.

Not sure how I am going to deal with this with my DD when it happens. I’m not sure I really buy all this circadian rhythm stuff either. I think a bit of a lie in fine but past 12 noon I couldn’t handle.

2anddone · 15/04/2022 13:53

I leave to sleep but after 10am I won't creep around the house...so will hoover, run washing machine right under their bedroom, have tv on etc. If we are going out I will tell them when they go to bed that if I haven't seen them by x time I will wake them. Usually by 10.30 they are up anyway.

RagzRebooted · 15/04/2022 13:54

Having left mine to it, they were all up around midday today. DD(12) had period pain, so got up for painkillers (but did moan about being tired!) and then made herself lunch. DS1(15) was up and making lunch, then did some chores. DS2(14) got up because he wants to go out, so had some lunch and has disappeared.
Their bedtime is closer to 11pm in the holidays once they've all got ready for bed and had a chat (routine starts at 10pm).

Most of last week I was off work and didn't wake naturally until gone 10am, but I didn't go to sleep until at least 1am.

C25kBecky · 15/04/2022 13:55

@Blanketpolicy

Over school holidays, ds gets into a cycle of sleeping in and not being able to sleep at night if I leave him to it. It gets to the point he is up until 4/5am unable to sleep, which he hates, and sleeping into the afternoon which is ridiculous.

If he isn't stirring by 10/11 I'll give him a nudge.

Why is it ridiculous if they don't have somewhere to be?

Why does it matter to you what time they get up?

VeryMuchFlaggingMinty · 15/04/2022 13:55

@Thepeopleversuswork

It might not happen. My DD has always been a morning person, I have literally never had to get her up and she's nearly 18.

She's usually up about 6.30am, dressed and off to the gym before I've dragged myself out of bed and starting making coffee with my eyes still shut!

Clearly gets it from XH.

Fizbosshoes · 15/04/2022 13:56

But I find the idea of sleeping in until past noon so depressing. Such a huge waste of life. I’m a bit phobic about mega long lie/ins; sleeping later than 9 feels incredibly unnatural and I hate being in a house where all the adults sleep in.

I don't think its wasteful if there's nothing specific you need to do before noon. If my teen got up earlier she wouldn't do anything particularly productive, and would probably just be on her phone and huffy because she was tired. Today she went out with a friend at noon so she got up around 11.20.

RagzRebooted · 15/04/2022 13:57

Two of mine had fairly early starts 3 days this week as they had a holiday activity club (forest school), but it's aimed at teens and doesn't start until 10:30am! DS2 did miss the 3rd day as he'd stayed at a friend's the night before and they didn't get much sleep, he came come by 9am but DH leg him go back to bed and then couldn't get him out again! His loss, as he missed the most fun activities but he'd thought he would be fine - he forgets how much sleep he needs!

CircusBaby · 15/04/2022 14:01

Toddler makes the house noisy from 7am but still the teens sleep. My DS in particular has always been bombproof, even as a baby he could sleep through nappy changes, clothes changes, I could dress him, stick him in the pram, go out, come back, take him out and put him in his cot. Still asleep. He'd sleep through an earthquake that boy. He'd barely even register me stroking his arm to wake him up. I need to do full on curtains open wake me up before you go go playing through a loud speaker to get him up during holiday time. And yet he's up and out when he does have plans/college without so much as a nudge 😂

The girls tend to wake up of their own accord around 11 anyway, but they still stay in bed until they're hungry.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 15/04/2022 14:03

@Thepeopleversuswork

I’m really going against the grain here and mine isn’t a teen yet and still wakes up at 7am…

But I find the idea of sleeping in until past noon so depressing. Such a huge waste of life. I’m a bit phobic about mega long lie/ins; sleeping later than 9 feels incredibly unnatural and I hate being in a house where all the adults sleep in.

Not sure how I am going to deal with this with my DD when it happens. I’m not sure I really buy all this circadian rhythm stuff either. I think a bit of a lie in fine but past 12 noon I couldn’t handle.

What a load of judgemental bollocks.

If people want to sleep in until midday, why exactly do you think it's any of your business?

Thepeopleversuswork · 15/04/2022 14:13

@fairylightsandwaxmelts

Well if it’s my kid it’s my business.

WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles · 15/04/2022 14:13

The correlation between the army and the DHs waking their DCs early is making me laugh a bit - who do these men think they are, Christopher Plummer? Maybe their DCs have their own whistle calls too

All the "better things to do" makes me laugh too - there are few things better than sleep