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Original poster

Do you wake sleeping teens or leave them be?

182 replies

Meltinthemiddle · 15/04/2022 10:59

I have two teens and both sleep in past pm if you let them and I was exactly the same. Dh (ex military) thinks they should up, dressed and fed by as soon as we are up. I think they need their sleep and waking a sleeping teen is like like waking sleeping baby! I do however stir them just before 12 so that they can eat at lunch and aren't skipping meals. What do you do?

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 15/04/2022 11:38

It probably does depend on how it will affect their own bedtime. Mine are that knackered from life and growing that they'll wake up at 2pm (following 16 hours in bed) and still go to bed at 10pm that night.
It actually makes me quite sad that when I wake her at 7am for school, her body is still a good 5 hours away from if I left her to wake up naturally.

crimsonlake · 15/04/2022 11:42

Always let mine sleep. My sister in law always woke her teens up and I could never understand why there was a great need to get them up, control I expect.

Fizbosshoes · 15/04/2022 11:44

My DH is not ex army but always moaning they "should" be up and dressed by for example 10am. But I'm of the opinion both are good at getting up and getting ready for school and getting themselves to sports/hobbies. If they want to sleep later I'm OK with that. If I woke them up they would be a) grumpy and b) probably just scrolling tiktok which is no more productive than sleeping anyway. I wake DS (12) if I'm going out as he doesn't like to wake when neither of us are there.

Beautiful3 · 15/04/2022 11:44

I let mine lie in until lunch time. Because its the holidays and their bodies need the extra sleep, to grow.

LabiaMinoraPissusFlapus · 15/04/2022 11:47

I tend to leave mine til about 12.30. My mum used to insist on me being up by 10 even when I was so tired. She said I was lazy. And she often doesn't get dressed all day and has always been like that! I am still annoyed about that!

Flutterby106 · 15/04/2022 11:50

I remember my mum shouting at me and calling me lazy when I was a teenager, because I didn't get up until 2 in the afternoon. I was just tired.

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 15/04/2022 11:51

School holidays he sleeps as long as he wants. However as he's a young teen I do take his phone at 10/11 latest (when I go to bed) so he's not up al night

chipsnmayo · 15/04/2022 11:52

Midday is where I would draw the line.

DD is epileptic, most weekends when she was 14 / 15 I would have to wake her up before 10 so she could take her bloody medication with her breakfast, by the time she was 16 her body clock had trained to be up before 10. Believe letting her sleep in would have made my life easier, she was always pretty good in getting up (and often I would have breakfast already made for her so I can let her sleep in as along as possible) but I always felt bad having to wake her up.

Deadringer · 15/04/2022 11:54

Don't poke the bears. I am on my 5th teen and I leave them be. Hasn't stopped any of them developing into hard working, high achieving, well rounded adults.

Topseyt · 15/04/2022 11:55

I wouldn't have wanted mine to sleep much later than midday, so would probably have woken them then anyway.

11.30 - midday was roughly when they tended to surface at weekends though, sometimes earlier. Not an issue.

Why does your DH seem to think that they should be up at cock's fart?

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 15/04/2022 11:56

I wake mine by 10. Maintaining usual sleep patterns is important in supporting their mental health

So is getting enough sleep, and teenagers circadian rhythms move forward so they Ned to sleep later. I bet they love being woken up.

Wingedharpy · 15/04/2022 11:56

I'm still a teenager sleep-wise, though my birth certificate would beg to differ.
Some of us are larks and some of us are owls, and we probably need a mix of both to make the world go round.

iklboo · 15/04/2022 11:58

Let DS(16) sleep in the holidays. If we're going out anywhere I gently wake him up by stroking his arm / face. DH does the same. Then give him time to come round.

kissmelittleass · 15/04/2022 12:00

Leave them be I've learnt it's better to leave them alone it's not doing me any harm and it makes for a easier relationship they only resent you for it which leads to arguments!!

Blanketpolicy · 15/04/2022 12:04

Over school holidays, ds gets into a cycle of sleeping in and not being able to sleep at night if I leave him to it. It gets to the point he is up until 4/5am unable to sleep, which he hates, and sleeping into the afternoon which is ridiculous.

If he isn't stirring by 10/11 I'll give him a nudge.

SirChenjins · 15/04/2022 12:07

I leave them to sleep in - it’s their holidays and I would be pissed off if someone else decided on a waking time for me if I didn’t need to be up. Third teenager here - pick your battles is my motto.

GetOffTheTableMabel · 15/04/2022 12:12

I deliver a cup of tea at midday if they have yet to wake-up. They’re both quite happy with this. I even do it to DD1 who is 21 when she’s home from uni. I think it’s quite hard for anyone to drop off to sleep and sleep well if they’ve been awake for less than 12 hours. Waking them at midday seem to stop them slipping into a sleep pattern that is really late and hard to correct when it’s time for school/life.
It also means they’ve just skipped breakfast but can eat a decent lunch and dinner with the rest of the family.

VeganGod · 15/04/2022 12:13

Let them sleep. My two got up at 2pm and 4pm yesterday. When they’re at school/college, they have to be up at 6.30am and the eldest works part time as well so when they can sleep, why shouldn’t they. They’ll be up earlier tomorrow and Sunday as we have plans.

My parents and my partners parents used to make us get up in the school holidays by 9/10am, even when we had part time jobs in the evening, not getting home til gone midnight. Horrible bastards that they were. I find telling someone when they can and can’t sleep, once there not little kids anymore, really controlling.

Barney60 · 15/04/2022 12:15

i woke mine up if not up by 11am.
I do feel even as teens they need a regular sleep pattern.

JurasicPerks · 15/04/2022 12:15

I'm fantasizing about the day my teen sleeps past 6.30. I might wake him a couple of times as pay back for the past 13 years, but I've never woken him yet, and wont be planning in changing my habits.
At what magical age is this sleeping to a reasonable time going to happen?

JessCat75 · 15/04/2022 12:18

I leave mine to sleep in on the holidays and weekends, they are up at 7 on school days so deserve their lie ins if they don't need to be up for anything.

Chaoslatte · 15/04/2022 12:19

@MinorWomensWhiplash1

Let them sleep. It’s well described now that teenagers have a shift in their circadian rhythm and move towards later sleep and wake times. Tell your DH it’s physiology, not laziness!
This. Teens have different sleep needs to adults. Let them sleep!
VeryMuchFlaggingMinty · 15/04/2022 12:19

I would leave mine to sleep (DD17) but tbh she's usually up and out the door before I'm awake Blush.

She more of an afternoon nap kinda girl Smile.

opinionminion · 15/04/2022 12:21

Gosh let them sleep the fall out of a still tired teen isn't worth the grief !

kimfox · 15/04/2022 12:22

I let them sleep but do tend to wake them about 11 if not up by then just because the school day is such an early start & I feel like they will struggle to much when they go back if I allow full immersion in the teenage night owl body clock!

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