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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Onlyfans etc. Grim or not?

154 replies

Ithinkitsadoughnut · 13/04/2022 16:38

Separate discussion where I said I think those sort of sites are awful. Sad and tawdry. The people who put the content on are as bad as the ones paying for it. I think it's an unpopular opinion on MN.
So aibu - it's all fair and good
Ainbu - it's grim

OP posts:
RedRuby152 · 13/04/2022 16:43

I think the prevalence of Only Fans and the like is grim just because of the massive nature of it, but it's the world we live in and it seems better than conventional porn where the "performers" have little control over the process or distribution and it seems more ethical in that I feel less of those on Only Fans will be trafficked or coerced.

So whilst not a fan, it's probably a better alternative. hypocritically though I wouldn't be happy to see someone I was with subscribing to someone's page

Maternitynamechange · 13/04/2022 16:46

Grim pseudo-feminist bollocks.

Ncwinc · 13/04/2022 16:46

’The people who put the content on are as bad as the ones paying for it’

I disagree. It’s sleazy, grim and 100% driven by demand. My contempt is reserved for those who pay for it.

TibetanTerrah · 13/04/2022 16:49

I think it's dangerous in that it makes the insta-life appear achievable for everyone and for very little work. Oh I can make £££ just my posting a few pics. It's eroding the work ethic and ambition of an entire generation imo for a lifestyle dream that isn't realistic.

YellowPlant · 13/04/2022 16:50

I’m aware this is nonsensical but I would definitely judge someone for using/paying for it but I wouldn’t judge someone for putting out content/making money from it.

AndAsIfByMagic · 13/04/2022 16:51

You have only to look at the type who has one - Katona and Price. Nuff said. Grim as hell.

SierpinskiSquare · 13/04/2022 16:52

I think it's really grim but I suppose it's a teeny bit better than some other sex work.

Ithinkitsadoughnut · 13/04/2022 16:54

Will give it a while longer, but I may have been wrong! I expected everyone to tell me how wrong I am and it's sooo empowering and nothing to be ashamed of!

OP posts:
beattieedny · 13/04/2022 16:54

It's awful. Commodification of sex, especially of women.

LondonQueen · 13/04/2022 16:54

Grim, glorified sex work.

DorothyZbornakIsAQueen · 13/04/2022 16:54

@Maternitynamechange

Grim pseudo-feminist bollocks.
Totally agree. It's women getting paid for getting their tits and fanny out, for male titillation.

The greatest trick the patriarchy ever played, is getting women to believe that porn is empowering.

Lockheart · 13/04/2022 16:57

You realise OnlyFans also hosts artists, musicians, writers, trainers etc? Like patreon. It's just a subscription service.

The number of users creating pornographic material went through the roof in recent years.

Nothing disgusting about the website itself. It's become synonymous with pornography but it really shouldn't be.

SilverHairedCat · 13/04/2022 16:58

It's no more than pornography, and I really really worry about younger women and girls being exploited for money on there.

It can seem all well and good, especially when the local bloody papers are lauding women who are doing it.

www.cornwalllive.com/news/uk-world-news/only-fans-star-ditches-day-6944953

Pennox · 13/04/2022 16:59

totally grim - this entirely:

"The greatest trick the patriarchy ever played, is getting women to believe that porn is empowering."

I know a couple of women trying to make money on only fans. They aren't making much. They are terribly damaged, vulnerable women who have been treated well in life. I feel sorry for them. It's just another form of prostitution.

Pennox · 13/04/2022 16:59

NOT been treated well

Ithinkitsadoughnut · 13/04/2022 17:00

I am pleased to be wrong!

OP posts:
Skiptheheartsandflowers · 13/04/2022 17:01

Grim. I remember the threads in recent months where posters with teenage daughters knew school friends who were on there to make spending money. Awful.

SlashBeef · 13/04/2022 17:02

Really grim but people will argue its empowering or some other nonsense 🙄

Pennox · 13/04/2022 17:04

Remember OP that the few desperate or very young women on MN that are doing onlyfans will eventually find any thread on it and then have a vested interest to big it up and try and make it seem fine. Most women will find it grim, no matter what replies you eventually get on here (some of which will be from men remember)

ScholesPanda · 13/04/2022 17:06

I'm pretty open minded, but I hate the way it's being sold as a way to make easy money, particularly to young women and to people who are struggling. I'm quite sure it's easy to get sucked further and further in, chasing subscribers, and end up going completely beyond what you would originally have been comfortable with. So yes, seems exploitative and grim in that sense.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 13/04/2022 17:11

If a woman wants to sell pictures of herself and post them online behind a paywall (or not!), she should be able to do that. It's her body and people shouldn't tell her what she should or shouldn't be able to do with it.

However, the platform opens up a huge opportunity for people to force women into situations they wouldn't choose to be in. It's way too easy to lie on the internet and claim that everyone on their is on their willingly. But what proof do we have of that? How can we ever know for sure that the person on our screens in not being forced into that situation? It's the same as online porn. The thing in itself isn't the problem (to me), but it's the not knowing that is more problematic.

Supporting the whole industry is supporting the worst case scenario.

SareBear87 · 13/04/2022 17:13

I think the artists, musicians and crafters would disagree at it being grim. Admittedly they are in the minority but it's a platform, people will search and subscribe to their own tastes

Whatsnewpussyhat · 13/04/2022 17:14

Put it this way, which sex predominantly pays to watch and which sex predominantly takes their clothes off and performs sex acts.

The men then convince the girls that sex work is 'empowering' whilst they enjoy exploiting them.

There was a thread the other day that a Uni is producing sex work guides for (almost always female) students that they intend to monetise. Making the uni no better than a pimp encouraging prostitution. The lads can go work in Wetherspoons while the girls get their tits out.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 13/04/2022 17:16

@ScholesPanda

I'm pretty open minded, but I hate the way it's being sold as a way to make easy money, particularly to young women and to people who are struggling. I'm quite sure it's easy to get sucked further and further in, chasing subscribers, and end up going completely beyond what you would originally have been comfortable with. So yes, seems exploitative and grim in that sense.
Years ago I remember posting on a different forum about being skint (by skint I meant having to choose between food, heat or rent) and I was advised by multiple women to 'just sell my knickers online'. I'd never heard of this at the time and honestly, I was desperate so I looked into it. I didn't do it in the end (and I'm thankful now!) but it seemed like such an easy way to make money. Just buy some packs of cheapy knickers and socks, wear them and sell them online. Sounds simple but the more I looked into it the more I found people took things further and further. I even joined an online community about how to get started and there were people who said it simply started with selling the odd pair of knickers but soon they were selling any and everything including clumps of hair, farting into jars, breastmilk smeared onto hanky's and god only knows what else.

It's very easy to see how people can get sucked into doing more than they would be comfortable doing.

Pennox · 13/04/2022 17:18

@SareBear87

I think the artists, musicians and crafters would disagree at it being grim. Admittedly they are in the minority but it's a platform, people will search and subscribe to their own tastes
if I was an artist, musician or crafter touting my wares I would be off that platform in a shot (there are lots of others) as, rightly or wrongly, it is entirely associated with prostitution now.