Page 5 | Onlyfans etc. Grim or not?

Rosebuud · 13/04/2022 23:02

In one of her videos she was saying that yes she is selling her body but so do others (models, body builders, actors, cleaners, surgeons etc) just in different ways, and others sell their minds (lawyers, accountants etc).

What an utterly ludicrous argument, it’s either demonstrating a total lack of intelligence or a deep seated shame of her life choices,. With those roles, you are paid to perform a job, with a skill. An expertise.

It is not remotely comparable to selling pictures of your tits or fanny for a tenner to any random perv who Fancies a look. To try to compare that with a lawyer, a model, an accountant , a surgeon, a cleaner, performing their job, is disturbing.

I’d have more respect if she just owned the fact she prostituted herself.

LolaStrange · 13/04/2022 23:09

@Ballcactus

Sex work is work. If you’re not a fan don’t consume it, much like anything else. But if you consume any mainstream porn that is way worse

It's not something that can just be ignored if you're not into it. Women are raped and murdered around the world every minute and we are objectified on OF. It affects us all.

mycatisannoying · 13/04/2022 23:20

Empowering, my arse.
YANBU.

ChaToilLeam · 13/04/2022 23:35

It is grim and awful and it is appalling that young women are being sold the lie that it is an easy and harmless way to make a few quid.

backtobusy · 14/04/2022 01:49

It is grim.

Sex work is work. Sending 5 year olds up chimneys was also work. Slave labor is also work.
Plenty of exploitative activity, which demeans and degrades is work. Being work doesn't make it okay.
There is no actual intrinsic moral virtue in work for works sake unless you are a very traditional Presbyterian.

milkyaqua · 14/04/2022 02:19

Beyond grim.

EllaVaNight · 14/04/2022 03:01

I just can't get my head around how people can be ok with things like this when you've no idea if they are being forced into it or not. How do you reconcile that in your mind? Doesn't it gnaw away at you?

I developed early and there are "porn" (rape) videos of me on the internet on adult sites from when I was just under 14. The shame I feel whenever I think of someone I know stumbling along it, I just can't describe it.

EllaVaNight · 14/04/2022 03:02

And the fact that there are people thinking "how empowering" fills me with disgust. It's humiliating.

Aussiegirl123456 · 14/04/2022 03:12

@EllaVaNight

I just can't get my head around how people can be ok with things like this when you've no idea if they are being forced into it or not. How do you reconcile that in your mind? Doesn't it gnaw away at you?

I developed early and there are "porn" (rape) videos of me on the internet on adult sites from when I was just under 14. The shame I feel whenever I think of someone I know stumbling along it, I just can't describe it.

Oh goodness, I’m so sorry to ready that and that you had to go through that. You didn’t deserve that and definitely don’t deserve to have those feelings of shame when you were taken advantage of. Unfortunately that will continue to happen for as long as there are women promoting sex work (that’s what this is) as glamorous or empowering.

Someone summed it up on the very first page. The patriarchy’s biggest achievement was to make women believe sex work / porn is empowering. It couldn’t be further from the truth and really all it does is an injustice for our own daughters. As long as women are prepared to sell their bodies for money, ALL women will always be seen as a commodity.

I never used to have this view. I used to believe women had the upper hand making money out of stupid men who’d spend their cash to see them naked or whatever. I always used to think these women were clever, powerful and in control. I’ve spent the last 8 years working in child protection, and from that I’ve made a harsh realisation that these women who do sell themselves contribute to a society which detriments females and has a huge knock on effect beyond themselves. ….But hey if they’re making good money that’s all that counts eh?

Pyewhacket · 14/04/2022 03:16

@Ncwinc

’The people who put the content on are as bad as the ones paying for it’

I disagree. It’s sleazy, grim and 100% driven by demand. My contempt is reserved for those who pay for it.

It’s 100% driven by the money they can make.

SenoraMiasma · 14/04/2022 03:36

I think an argument has been built up that either says you are pro women’s right to choose or are threatened by other women taking control of their lives and both of these positions are flawed imv.

I think a complex issue to do with defining women’s role and value in the workplace has been sidelined to who can make the most money in as short a time as possible without any regard for the consequences.

In such situations, I always wonder who really benefits. If you wanted to find a way to make women high earners whilst not affecting male jobs, increase the tax intake of contributors and lower the cost of paying for sex workers by flooding the market with desperate women then you couldn’t have come up with a better plan.

I hate this - how did we spectacularly fail someone with @EllaVaNight story?

1forAll74 · 14/04/2022 03:59

I watched a programme not so long ago, about Only Fans., and most of the women on there, and a couple of men, actually said that they like to be viewed being naked,or doing all the odd ball things that the punters ask them to do. they just said they liked exhibiting themselves sexually for others to view, and they got turned on by doing stuff.

twinklystar23 · 14/04/2022 04:20

Beyond grim, so concerned for young women, who enter into this under the sex work is work mantra. Does anyone know if there is even counter educational information making clear the short and long term consequences of such decisions?

EllaVaNight · 14/04/2022 04:39

I watched a programme not so long ago, about Only Fans., and most of the women on there, and a couple of men, actually said that they like to be viewed being naked,or doing all the odd ball things that the punters ask them to do. they just said they liked exhibiting themselves sexually for others to view, and they got turned on by doing stuff. if it's their choice to do it they will say they enjoy it as their "customers" may be watching so they're telling them what they think they want to hear. If they're being made to do it then they were probably forced to say it.

EllaVaNight · 14/04/2022 04:40

Aussiegirl123456 thank you

SenoraMiasma · 14/04/2022 07:19

@EllaVaNight

I’m very sorry to hear yr story, Ella. I really hope you are able to feel that that video is not you or who you are.

EdinaMonsoon · 14/04/2022 07:48

I may be wrong, but I’ve never heard anyone say that men taking their clothes off & performing degrading sex acts is “empowering”. It’s absolute BS.

I completely agree with posters who say that it’s not simply a case of ignoring it if it’s not your thing. We live in a world where women’s bodies are a commodity that anyone can buy. We cannot separate that concept from rape, misogyny & abuse.

Ballcactus · 14/04/2022 08:21

I absolutely agree that violence against women is prolific but you cannot blame the women on OF for that. Let’s start looking at the men? Why is there such scope for high earners on OF? And let’s separate the shame around pornography and sexual violence. The shame around sex consumption is deeply rooted in society and different to sexual violence. They do-exist in some cases of course like all things but these are different conversations we should be having.

CheesyColeslaw · 14/04/2022 08:35

I don't judge those who are on it but I absolutely do judge those who pay for sexual content. It's preferable to other porn as the women have more control but I'm uncomfortable with the idea of sex and women's bodies being seen as a commodity and something men have a right to buy.

Maternitynamechange · 14/04/2022 09:01

@Ballcactus How can we separate pornography from sexual violence when the whole industry is built around exactly that? A vast majority of porn shows coercive sex and violence. Arguably it’s not sex at all but the big monetary hijacking of intimacy to involve violence against women.

amijustparanoidorjuststoned · 14/04/2022 09:13

Look at it from another perspective. Take the example of Sarah Jayne Dunn, who was recently sacked from Hollyoaks after setting up an OF account.

She was contractually obliged to do a "sexy" underwear laden calendar shoot every year, with no extra pay, so that people could ogle her in her underwear.

She has chosen to take the power back and set up an OF so that she can get paid very handsomely for doing exactly the same thing as she was asked. Yet somehow, that is "wrong" and "shameful".

Why do you think this might be? Seems a little hypocritical. I think if you want to do OF, and nobody has a gun to your head... then crack on.

amijustparanoidorjuststoned · 14/04/2022 09:17

Also. to the people who judge other people for paying for sexual content, such as Only Fans - can you please explain why this bothers you so much?

NB: I don't mean those who watch "amateur" porn - any real chance of exploitation or lack of consent is a no go, obviously. But what is the problem with paying to see content which has been made consensually and "ethically"?

This isn't a goady question, by the way. I am curious to know what the problem is.

That isn't a goady question

thenewduchessoflapland · 14/04/2022 09:17

I think the grimmest thing about only fans is the amount of blokes there is with accounts on there paying for these photos and videos.

There isn't enough blokes living in their mums spare rooms out there to cover the fees that are paid on only fans meaning there's probably alot of men with secret accounts they hide

hangrylady · 14/04/2022 09:22

It's grim but I can see how women might be tempted. It's prostituting yourself but without the risk of being physically harmed or having to have actual sex. The lesser of two evils if you like. I wouldn't touch a man with a barge pole if he used these sites though.

mydogisthebest · 14/04/2022 09:22

@AndAsIfByMagic

You have only to look at the type who has one - Katona and Price. Nuff said. Grim as hell.

Makes me laugh to think of the sad sad men paying to see Katona's and Price's plastic boobs. Surely if you are going to pay to see them you would want real ones?