Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Onlyfans etc. Grim or not?

154 replies

Ithinkitsadoughnut · 13/04/2022 16:38

Separate discussion where I said I think those sort of sites are awful. Sad and tawdry. The people who put the content on are as bad as the ones paying for it. I think it's an unpopular opinion on MN.
So aibu - it's all fair and good
Ainbu - it's grim

OP posts:
Pennox · 13/04/2022 18:13

Are you her accountant? How do you know how much tax she paid? Until someone shows me actual evidence of women making lots of money on OnlyFans its exactly the same as me saying I'm a multi-billionaire on here or women saying they bought a Range Rover they bought with what they made selling terrible overpriced gunk in MLM pyramid schemes. I don't believe it. Even the Bella Thornes et al that are famous and supposedly making millions of dollars - maybe at the beginning but how can that be now when there is so much free porn out there and £20 an hour sex cams. There's no way that's a sustainable business model.

DrBlackbird · 13/04/2022 18:23

The greatest trick the patriarchy ever played, is getting women to believe that porn is empowering

Put it this way, which sex predominantly pays to watch and which sex predominantly takes their clothes off and performs sex acts

^^ Both of these.

So many discussions with my DD on why I don’t see pole dancing/OF/lap dancing/sex work as bloody empowerment for women. We’re having this conversation because the message being disseminated by the ‘progressive’ left on SM is that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with any of it. To suggest otherwise is being a judgemental Tory.

How convenient for the sex that likes to use these services. How damaging to the sex performing these services when they don’t find themselves being empowered.

NeverChange · 13/04/2022 18:24

I have really mixed feelings on it. Generally I think it is faily grim but I know someone who makes a decent amount of it from her feet, specifically targeted at those with a foot fetish. Apparently no nudiety or sex at all. Stockings on, stockings off, hells, massaging toes etc. As far as she is concerned, if fools are happy to pay for each she's happy to take the money. Have tiny feet & good legs myself & often wondered but not seriously enough to give it a go.

In the other side of, there have always been women who have had to restore to prostitution unfortunately to feed kids etc. Surely, it's safer for them to use it than actually meet people in person. Is it not safe?

I don't know, I couldn't do but don't judge those who do. There's a big difference between those who do it and won't suffer esteem or mental issues later because of it and those who won't.

Rosebuud · 13/04/2022 18:27

The Average woman isn’t making much, there are too many on there now. If anyone is making so much they pay a couple of hundred in tax they are either lying, famous, or doing something incredibly grim and extreme indeed.

It’s so sad. The whole “I will,show anyone my tits, arse and Fanny for twenty quid”.

It’s no less degrading or seedy becayse it’s on line, and not sitting in a working mens club offering creepy blokes to line up and pay a few quid to have a look.

DrBlackbird · 13/04/2022 18:28

I also think it’s equally damaging for the sex that pays for all the obvious reasons…

Pennox · 13/04/2022 18:28

Wasn't safe for this poor girl

www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/webcam-girl-died-asphyxia-after-17260710

Northernsoullover · 13/04/2022 18:30

@Pennox

Are you her accountant? How do you know how much tax she paid? Until someone shows me actual evidence of women making lots of money on OnlyFans its exactly the same as me saying I'm a multi-billionaire on here or women saying they bought a Range Rover they bought with what they made selling terrible overpriced gunk in MLM pyramid schemes. I don't believe it. Even the Bella Thornes et al that are famous and supposedly making millions of dollars - maybe at the beginning but how can that be now when there is so much free porn out there and £20 an hour sex cams. There's no way that's a sustainable business model.
I assume that's directed at me? She's running a limited company so it's there for all to see!
planetme · 13/04/2022 18:31

Grim

Florenz · 13/04/2022 18:31

I don't see a problem with it. It's not empowering at all but neither is stacking shelves or working in a call centre or many other types of work.

portionplate · 13/04/2022 18:32

@Pennox that's shocking & the fact he did nothing

ComtesseDeSpair · 13/04/2022 18:48

@Florenz

I don't see a problem with it. It's not empowering at all but neither is stacking shelves or working in a call centre or many other types of work.
Agree. I know a lot of women who work or have worked in the sex industry in some way or another at some time, as have I many years ago. I don’t think any of us have ever claimed it was empowering or enjoyable, I think the idea that many women in the industry think that is trope; but all felt it a much better option than working long hours for minimum wage in a shop or restaurant.
TheAntiGardener · 13/04/2022 18:49

To suggest otherwise is being a judgemental Tory.

Ha. Because the Tories as a group are famously uninterested in the seamier side of life. This reminds me of a woman I knew in local politics who was very pro sex work and once remarked in admiring tones that the leader of the Tories in our local counsel had approached her at an event to express his enthusiasm for the cause. As though there was some unexpected common ground and perhaps there was a progressive lurking in there. I was a little more cynical.

RealBecca · 13/04/2022 18:49

I'm sure some people make loads but none is paying £100 for something vanilla, never mind £1000s.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 13/04/2022 18:58

@Florenz

I don't see a problem with it. It's not empowering at all but neither is stacking shelves or working in a call centre or many other types of work.
This really. It's also degrading to work your arse off for minimum wage, in a different way.
Libertaire · 13/04/2022 19:02

I take a ‘live and let live’ approach. If women (and some men) can make good money showing off their bodies on OF, good luck to them. If men (almost exclusively) are prepared to pay good money to see a pair of boobs, more fool them.

SquidwardsBigBlowhole · 13/04/2022 19:09

This would make sense if you came from a 'sex work is degrading and women are victims' stance.

But saying that the ones putting out content are just as bad- how? Because they're eroding the moral standing society? Your SO might be enticed?

LexMitior · 13/04/2022 19:13

Grim

DoubleShotEspresso · 13/04/2022 19:22

Grim= digital prostitution

TheVanguardSix · 13/04/2022 19:31

Grim because it perpetuates the well-worn path of objectification and fetishisation under the guise of 'empowerment' and 'independence'.
I think one could follow the useful rule of thumb: If Katie Price is on it, you don't want to be.

Alonelonelylonersbadidea · 13/04/2022 19:34

I discovered my then 17 year old niece has an Onlyfans. She subsidises her university studies with it. My sister I assume has no idea, awful.

Rainbowqueeen · 13/04/2022 19:36

Grim

There’s nothing to stop users taking screenshots and publishing them elsewhere.
It’s used against women when they try to get more mainstream work.
In a few years people are going to realise how damaging it is.

Blossomtoes · 13/04/2022 19:40

@Florenz

I don't see a problem with it. It's not empowering at all but neither is stacking shelves or working in a call centre or many other types of work.
I agree with you.
Ahgoonyegirlye · 13/04/2022 19:41

It’s grim and I would be incredibly disappointed if my kids did that rather than have the ambition to have any other job. Don’t care how much money they earned.

LexMitior · 13/04/2022 19:42

@TheVanguardSix

Grim because it perpetuates the well-worn path of objectification and fetishisation under the guise of 'empowerment' and 'independence'. I think one could follow the useful rule of thumb: If Katie Price is on it, you don't want to be.
I think a good test is - would I want anyone I care about to do this? If not, GRIM.
Ahgoonyegirlye · 13/04/2022 19:42

I don’t think the people putting pics and videos up arr as bad as the men paying for it though.
The same way I find men using sex workers foul rather than the sex workers themselves.