To think 8am to 6pm at nursery/school+wraparound is just too much

[magicsoosh]

Apparently Mon-Fri 8am to 6pm childcare is normal.. AIBU to think that's a lot? That's more hours than most full time jobs

@Meadmaiden

I’m in London too. I suppose it might be different as those I know with children (at work and nursery) have two incomes (i.e both parents pay for nursery) so it might balance it out. We do have flexible working, but that just means we can sometimes pick them up or drop them off a bit earlier or later. Unfortunately the job I do can’t really be done whilst looking after a baby, so flexible or not, I still need to work and have childcare whilst I’m doing it.

@Meadmaiden

Also, and I’m not sure if this makes a difference (I only mention it as you reference just the mums not working 5 days), but at our nursery it’s pretty much for all children that one parent drops off and the other picks up. So I think a lot of us work more than the usual 9-5, but work flexibly with our partners. For example I take our child in so start work later and my husband gets in early and finishes early to pick our child up.

[quote Qwill]@Meadmaiden

I’m in London too. I suppose it might be different as those I know with children (at work and nursery) have two incomes (i.e both parents pay for nursery) so it might balance it out. We do have flexible working, but that just means we can sometimes pick them up or drop them off a bit earlier or later. Unfortunately the job I do can’t really be done whilst looking after a baby, so flexible or not, I still need to work and have childcare whilst I’m doing it.[/quote]
Yes, all two income families here, but full time childcare still unaffordable. Also a lack of nursery spaces, so the nursery prefers to offer part time spaces to reach more families.

By flexible working I mean working 4 days a week or less. I do not work from home either, so most definitely need childcare, but don't work 5 days a week. I can't afford to!

Also loads of grandparents and other family members help out with childcare. The stay and plays reflect this.

@herethereandeverywhere why put sahm down when criticising the other way
Why do women do it to each other , your making out your a better mum than me because i chose to be a sahm when mine were little and mine will not respect me so much
Surely its up to each individual to do what works for them and there family and you bring your kids up to be respectful of different choices

It is a long day but children get used to it and if thats what someone needs/ wants to do thats fine
There are childminders for people who prefer a more similar to home approach
Others will prefer nursery and all that others , some a nanny
Some of is choose to be sahm or use family for childcare if lucky to have someone to help
None of those choices are wrong or right its just what works for you and your child/ family

Yet another goady thread by a "new" poster. :o

I’m not sure I would like to grow up believing myself to be if secondary importance to my mother’s career!

I grew up knowing, with certainty, that I came second to my mother's career as one of the top family lawyers in the profession at the time. I knew that the fact that she was a woman and successful was both wonderful and unusual at the time (70's/80's) and always felt proud and inspired by her. She gave all of her spare time to us and my parents used their relative wealth to ensure that we had constant opportunities, holidays abroad and an excellent education. I certainly aspire to do the same for my children.

[quote Organictangerine]@echt where?[/quote]
In the thread title.

Goady thread some parents have to work full time !! What other choice do they have?

Aw, OP, are you terribly disappointed that children of full time working parents grow up just as happy and well adjusted as children or stay at home or part time working parents? Teensy bit jealous that as well as having happy children, the parents both have work, incomes and pensions?
Sure sounds like it

Mine goes to childcare at 7.30 and I pick them up around 5.30. Unfortunately I have no choice as I need to work.

@FairyCatMother you say you've made the choice to go down to one wage. So your child gets no day trips, holidays, life experiences etc? What about when they're at school and can't do extra curricular groups and activities like their friends? There are negatives to both situations so I don't think you have anymore right to judge others do you?

@Neverreturntoathread

Yanbu. British kids have the worst mental health in Europe and this is part of why 😭

Evidence please. Real, reliable sources if you're going to quote this kind of bullshit on the internet.

[quote likemindedarseholes]@magicsoosh I don't think you wrote this to be judgemental. I think you have a young baby and you're considering your options. And yes when you've been on maternity the idea of putting your darling baby into 40 hours plus of childcare per week seems awful and you wonder how others do it. I've been there. You either make changes, or you do it and it gets easier. There's lots of remote working roles about, would that help you?[/quote]
I thought along these lines when I read the post

@Meadmaiden

I see. None of my friends (including me) have any grandparent support (most live quite far away, or abroad) so that might be another factor here. Also work colleagues and myself unfortunately don’t have the option of a 4 day week - I have tried!!

@Neverreturntoathread

Yanbu. British kids have the worst mental health in Europe and this is part of why 😭

Lol, what?

Most French children are in full time childcare from about 4 months old.

As a parent who worked full time and put my children in wrap around care 7.30am - 6pm for many years I agree, it is too long.

I had to go part time as my eldest child just couldn't cope and it really damaged her mental health, later she was diagnosed with asd, my other child coped ok but they are both so much better now that I'm part time.

@Meadmaiden

I don't think Monday to Friday 8-6 is the norm actually: most children in my kids' nursery go part time. It's the same with colleagues and friends.

It's the norm that grandparents do a day or two if childcare a week, and/or parents work reduced/compressed hours, which necessitate 2-4 days a week only at nursery. It's very rare actually to have an under 2 in nursery full time in my experience, not least because the cost is usually prohibitive!

Not my experience at all.

We had no grandparent help at all. It just wasn't possible and part time wasn't an option.

I'm now in a position to work flexibly so we only use wraparound care three times a week but that wasn't possible in the nursery years.
Most of the children in DSs group attended full time.

@worriedatthistime

Erm, where did I 'put you down'? What was it that I said about you?

I explained my experience with my mother followed by my choices for myself and my kids.

I'm sorry that you feel so sensitive about your own choices. You are absolutely free to do as you choose. I'm completely confident in my choices and the reasons for them.

I live in London and this is absolutely the norm. What else do you expect working parents to do??

@65honeybee

Aw, OP, are you terribly disappointed that children of full time working parents grow up just as happy and well adjusted as children or stay at home or part time working parents? Teensy bit jealous that as well as having happy children, the parents both have work, incomes and pensions? Sure sounds like it

How did you get that from the OP?

Needs must

@herethereandeverywhere you put all sahm down with what you put as you well know

It depends on the child surely? Our dd wd have been fine. Our ds .. not so .. thrived on quiet home life . Same at school.. dd managed a lets say challenging school, ds went to.a quiet country school
. Dd school too noisey, too busy. Came home sttessed daily until we moved him and hr bloomed .