Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To think 8am to 6pm at nursery/school+wraparound is just too much

571 replies

magicsoosh · 13/04/2022 03:57

Apparently Mon-Fri 8am to 6pm childcare is normal.. AIBU to think that's a lot? That's more hours than most full time jobs

OP posts:
TheGoogleMum · 13/04/2022 20:17

My daughter has been doing 7.30-6pm days at nursery since 9 months old! Only a couple of days a week though. I think it would be too much to be school and learning all day but when it's wraparound for school it is usually not educational I don't think? That long for play time though I dont see why it's too much?

Waxonwaxoff0 · 13/04/2022 20:18

[quote Tillsforthrills]@Waxonwaxoff0

Fair enough but the comments to that poster are derogatory and she’s a woman. Fair to challenge misogynistic comments though of course.[/quote]
And to be honest, anyone who shames women for working, having casual sex, and gay people, deserves to have derogatory things said to them quite frankly.

Tillsforthrills · 13/04/2022 20:19

@brookstar

Apologies I hadn’t seen it

Tillsforthrills · 13/04/2022 20:20

@Waxonwaxoff0

Fair enough, sorry about that I didn’t see that.

pinkfondu · 13/04/2022 20:20

@magicsoosh

Apparently Mon-Fri 8am to 6pm childcare is normal.. AIBU to think that's a lot? That's more hours than most full time jobs
So how do you expect me to work then?
Waxonwaxoff0 · 13/04/2022 20:22

[quote Tillsforthrills]@Waxonwaxoff0

Fair enough, sorry about that I didn’t see that.[/quote]
Think they've all been deleted thankfully.

AchillesPoirot · 13/04/2022 20:22

I was going to type out what she said. About me. About what should be done to me.

But. No.

Just u

@Tillsforthrills it was the worst post I’ve ever seen on here.

Ahgoonyegirlye · 13/04/2022 20:22

It’s not normal for families we know. Our DC has one day with those hours and we’re shattered. What is normal is a mix of part-time working, or parents taking it in turns to collect the kids at different times, or doing swaps with other parents.
We needed a spreadsheet to keep up with it all! But if DC had an 8am nursery drop we tried to pick up at 4pm that day, or 9-5pm, or one D.C. went home from school with friend every Monday at 3pm til about 5.30 and on Thursdays we took their kid.
I dropped to 4 days a week while kids were little, and had a WFH day too. DP WFH 2x a week to facilitate kids not being in child care 8-6 every day.
We both ended up working at 6am some days or we’ll after ‘office hours’ in the evenings to catch up.

RainbowMum11 · 13/04/2022 20:23

Needs must when you have a job.

Tillsforthrills · 13/04/2022 20:24

@AchillesPoirot

That’s awful, I’m sorry.

brookstar · 13/04/2022 20:25

[quote Tillsforthrills]@brookstar

Apologies I hadn’t seen it[/quote]
Thankfully it was been deleted as it was horrible.

goodnightgrumble · 13/04/2022 20:27

Having been a nursery manager I am always torn about what I think.
It is a long day for children but they do get used to it very quickly and those that are full time adapt better than those that are part time.
Unfortunately, as others have said needs must. Personally, I used childminders as my children were more 'needy' and it was personal choice to have more of a home environment. However, most children adapt well. There is always the odd one that never really settles but those are few and far between.

Tillsforthrills · 13/04/2022 20:27

Not sure if I’m alone or not, but shaking the feeling of guilt at leaving little ones at daycare for a long day - even when it’s great, was hard.

They’re all thriving wonderfully so that has helped.

ibblebibbledibble · 13/04/2022 20:28

For us we felt it would have been too much, not just for the children but also because I enjoyed the two days a week I had with them. But we were fortunate at the time in that we were in military housing so our living costs were a lot more manageable and also having twins, after childcare we weren’t actually making much from my salary. However if we’d have been in a position where we needed both of us working ft and it was financially viable, we would have done. Also some careers are a lot more compatible with part time working than others.

Ahgoonyegirlye · 13/04/2022 20:29

When kids got to school age we chose a childminder over most after school clubs, because childminder just let them hangout and watch a bit of telly and play in her garden with the other kids. Much more relaxed and suited ours better.

Tillsforthrills · 13/04/2022 20:29

I agree, he’s made his position clear so should just stay out of it now - the damage is done.

Gazelda · 13/04/2022 20:29

Stirling work from the OP today.

Goady first post, very brief update followed by a humdinger of a pointless, offensive and depressing debate which has thankfully resulted in the majority agreeing that it may not be ideal, but as a result of feminists before us, more women now have the privilege of choice around work/career.

This thread also shows that the options for childcare is still unequal and often inadequate. This should be our next crusade.

Amongst the other crusades women have to fight, obviously.

CoralDaffodil · 13/04/2022 20:33

Stop being so judgemental. Yes it’s a lot, but some families don’t have a choice and needs must. There’s nothing wrong with women working. Children aren’t working so that’s a stupid comparison. They can nap and spend time reading books, playing, socialising etc as if they were at home. My child doesn’t go to nursery full time btw as I know you will think they do from my response.

Organictangerine · 13/04/2022 20:34

I don’t think it’s goady. I think it’s a perfectly reasonable question to ask alongside ‘Is home schooling better/worse than regular school?’ or ‘Is being an only child lonely?’ Etc etc

They’re not comfortable questions because we will all fall naturally into one side of the debate, but it’s important to discuss these issues without shutting them down as ‘goady’.

LeastofLeicester · 13/04/2022 20:39

@Organictangerine

I don’t think it’s goady. I think it’s a perfectly reasonable question to ask alongside ‘Is home schooling better/worse than regular school?’ or ‘Is being an only child lonely?’ Etc etc

They’re not comfortable questions because we will all fall naturally into one side of the debate, but it’s important to discuss these issues without shutting them down as ‘goady’.

But those are choices.

Childcare is not a choice (for most). It's a must.

Longdistance · 13/04/2022 20:42

My dds have been in Breakfast club and ASC from 7.45am to 5.30pm. Also in nursery for similar times from aged 3.
They are great. The kindest and loveliest kids you could meet. I’m really close to them and if there’s an issue in school or friendships or at home they come to me.
YABU to think it’s too much. We have an amazing life and they don’t miss out on anything.

Organictangerine · 13/04/2022 20:42

But the title isn’t ‘those awful parents who shove their kids in childcare should take them out immediately’. It’s reflecting on whether it’s good for the children or not.

echt · 13/04/2022 20:47

@Organictangerine

But the title isn’t ‘those awful parents who shove their kids in childcare should take them out immediately’. It’s reflecting on whether it’s good for the children or not.
Reflection my eye. It’s stated as a fact.
sweetbambi · 13/04/2022 20:49

@LeastofLeicester it is still an important discussion to be hand and if children really would benefit from shorter hours we need to have these discussions so that more can be done to facilitate this. this could range from pay rises, to more financial support for families or to encourage more employers to make their work hours more flexible for both parents. also to maybe have more of a discussion if we should do more to encourage both parents to have a healthier work balance that takes family life into account

LeastofLeicester · 13/04/2022 20:50

@Organictangerine

But the title isn’t ‘those awful parents who shove their kids in childcare should take them out immediately’. It’s reflecting on whether it’s good for the children or not.

Which makes it even more goady.

I think something you have no control over (assuming you want to feed and cloth your child) is bad for them and I am far more superior by seeing it.