To be shocked by how blasé alot of MNers are about abortion

[Nothanksloveimfine]

Yes its healthcare, yes free and safe abortion is completely necessary because the alternative doesn't bare thinking about, yes everybody has a right to choose what's best for them and yes I am pro choice (whilst being explicitly pro life with regards to my own pregnancies)

With all that said and done, I am quite alarmed at how a sizable % of MNers are so blase about abortions. Whenever a poster is talking about being pregnant with an unplanned baby and in a less than perfect situation, I see alot of posters urging her to just have a termination like its a routine stroll through the park.

I've just read a heartbreaking article which is being discussed at the minute and some of the replies on that thread are so cold. It made me cry and I'm wondering how the hell people can read that and not be impacted by it, completely steamrolling over the tragic loss of life by saying things like "that's a rare case" abortion is a good thing bla bla bla.

Does anybody else share my view or am I the odd one out?

It's like people are so determined to bang the "right to abort" drum, they have no regard for the babies whatsoever.

Abortion can be totally necessary but it's also pretty sad IMO.

You can care about the mother without being so cold and dismissive of the baby they were carrying.

Caring about the babies doesn't mean I hate women, I am one.

Yes I've name changed because I don't expect this will go down well here.

People have different opinions to you, so what?

@ComDummings

People have different opinions to you, so what?

So I want to know whether I'm a total minority here, is that OK?

So not pro choice then OP?

To me it would be the same as having a mole removed.
A mass of unwanted cells that could or would cause harm if not dealt with.

I've never read anyone urging a poster to have a termination,what I have read is posters reminding the OP that she has choices.

I agree with you, OP. Every word.

In the early stages most people don't think of an embryo as a baby, just a bunch of cells. You are using emotive language by calling an embryo a baby.

Abortion can be totally necessary but it's also pretty sad IMO.

Well mine wasn't at all. I was 19 and in an abusive relationship. I did not regret it at the time and felt no sadness. 20 years later I do not regret it and feel no sadness.

I'm afraid I disagree with you. I totally support your right to your opinion but I feel that a foetus can be aborted.

I think you may need to re-examine your statement that you are pro-choice.

@RampantIvy

In the early stages most people don't think of an embryo as a baby, just a bunch of cells. You are using emotive language by calling an embryo a baby.

This is true ^

I’m not sure that you’re a minority, OP. There seem to be a lot more forced-birthers on here than there used to be. All of them claiming to be pro-choice, oddly.

@gamerchick

So not pro choice then OP?

I respect women's right to choose what's best for them, I am pro choice in all other cases except my own. My issue isn't women having abortions, it's the way they're actively encouraged to by strangers on the Internet who'll forget about them by lunch time.

I think it's cold.

@MrsPelligrinoPetrichor

I've never read anyone urging a poster to have a termination,what I have read is posters reminding the OP that she has choices.

This.

Either you're pro choice, in which case you think women should be able to have an abortion for any reason.
Or you're not.

Yes there is another post. I won’t say where as I don’t want it to be a taat but wow the amount of posters coming on to tell her to “just have an abortion” despite the op clearly not wanting to is terrible, but posters trying to guilt her into it as it would be so awful for a baby to be brought up by a single mother 🤨 posters on here seem weirdly keen to push for abortions

I think it depends on how you view the embryo. For example, two of my friends both lost a pregnancy at 8 weeks. One of them viewed it as her baby, a miscarriage, a lost child. She was heartbroken.The other viewed it as a late period. Genuinely.
For some people, an early abortion just isn't a huge traumatic thing. For some it is the logical solution to a problem.
What I find distasteful is the undercurrent I often pick up, of people claiming to be pro-choice but only really if the woman is suitably distraught and wracked with guilt about it.

BTW if you have to say "I am pro choice, but...", then you aren't pro choice.

Oddly, being pro choice is a bit like being pregnant; you are or you aren't. No in between.

Mine wasn't sad at all, it was the right thing.
You can get sad about it all you like but I don't see why I should.

FWIW I've had 2 abortions, due to sexual abuse by a relative. I have to think of the foetus as something other than a baby. Because the guilt of thinking I "killed my baby" is horrific. It's the only way I can come to terms with it.

and yes I am pro choice (whilst being explicitly pro life with regards to my own pregnancies)

So, you're pro choice then. No need for the second part of this sentence!

Sorry, it just irritates me that a lot of people equate being pro-choice to being pro-abortion, which is a huge misrepresentation.

@Penzinola

Abortion can be totally necessary but it's also pretty sad IMO.

Well mine wasn't at all. I was 19 and in an abusive relationship. I did not regret it at the time and felt no sadness. 20 years later I do not regret it and feel no sadness.

You made the choice that was right for you at the time. I'm glad you're at peace with that decision.

As I said my issue is not with people having abortions. I'm just upset by the collective coldness about it on mumsnet, how it's trotted out as one of the first suggestions when somebody is pregnant in a less than perfect situation and asking for advice.

We are lucky to have the choice in this country. Hi n many parts of the world, the patriarchy outlaws what a woman can or cannot do with her own body.

I’m glad women have the choice in the UK. It’s not a choice most women take lightly.

You are not pro choice if you have drawn up your own caveats. They don’t apply to anyone else.

Not everyone feels guilt about abortion. You’re not really pro choice if the choice has to be accompanied by guilt, hand wringing, emotional damage etc etc. women have choices, it’s ok to remind them of that, and it’s also ok for women to access those choices.

Just because you might feel sad if you had one, doesn’t mean others have to.

@AHungryCaterpillar

Yes there is another post. I won’t say where as I don’t want it to be a taat but wow the amount of posters coming on to tell her to “just have an abortion” despite the op clearly not wanting to is terrible, but posters trying to guilt her into it as it would be so awful for a baby to be brought up by a single mother 🤨 posters on here seem weirdly keen to push for abortions

Thank you for posting this, because some on this thread seem to think that doesn't happen. I've been on mumsnet on and off for 10 years and I've seen it endlessly.