To be shocked by how blasé alot of MNers are about abortion

[Nothanksloveimfine]

Yes its healthcare, yes free and safe abortion is completely necessary because the alternative doesn't bare thinking about, yes everybody has a right to choose what's best for them and yes I am pro choice (whilst being explicitly pro life with regards to my own pregnancies)

With all that said and done, I am quite alarmed at how a sizable % of MNers are so blase about abortions. Whenever a poster is talking about being pregnant with an unplanned baby and in a less than perfect situation, I see alot of posters urging her to just have a termination like its a routine stroll through the park.

I've just read a heartbreaking article which is being discussed at the minute and some of the replies on that thread are so cold. It made me cry and I'm wondering how the hell people can read that and not be impacted by it, completely steamrolling over the tragic loss of life by saying things like "that's a rare case" abortion is a good thing bla bla bla.

Does anybody else share my view or am I the odd one out?

It's like people are so determined to bang the "right to abort" drum, they have no regard for the babies whatsoever.

Abortion can be totally necessary but it's also pretty sad IMO.

You can care about the mother without being so cold and dismissive of the baby they were carrying.

Caring about the babies doesn't mean I hate women, I am one.

Yes I've name changed because I don't expect this will go down well here.

OP in case this isn't goady, have a Google of the Overton window.

There's an issue when the mainstream discourse is 'abortion is desperately sad' rather than 'abortion is needed healthcare and should be free and available'. Because the window moves and if the mainstream moves, so do the extremes and no one wants to be the American Christian Right. You are moving the window.

The 'cold' women are trying to move it back and preserve women's rights.

It's hard to say OP you don't know what situation you MIGHT find yourself in. Women a lot of the time will want to keep the baby but it's circumstances.

My thoughts abortion is that people seen to have had more than one abortion to be honest I've never done it all but there's no way I could go through with it more than once!

@MrsTerryPratchett

You know what I find cold? Encouraging someone with no supports and an abusive partner to have a baby because, "you'll love it once it's here" and 'I just couldn't'. I've seen it on here and it's terrifying. Women chained to abusive men for decades because they can't face an abortion. Not that they want a child. But that they can't abort.

Unwanted children being brought into the world is terrible and I see the sharp end of that every day.

I agree with you.

A woman should be able to chose if she wants to be pregnant or not.

All you pro lifers, are you lining up to take on responsibility for the babies you want to force women to bear?

@OffRoadFozzyBear

I see it as just an element of healthcare. What I find sad is that it’s treated as some dirty little secret. A huge, huge number of women will have an abortion at some point (something like 1 in 3 or 1 in 4), yet it’s still seen as something shameful, not to be discussed openly, with an expectation to feel guilty. That is wrong.

The woman should always take priority over the fetus. To do otherwise reduces women to mere incubators and it’s a slippery slope. In the US, some states are actively restricting access to abortion. At the same time, some companies, churches etc are trying to limit coverage of contraception (yet those same companies happily cover viagra, for example). It’s all about the subjugation of women. Abortion rights are womens rights. They affect us all, whether we have been personally affected by abortion or not.

It's all about balance. We should not be comparing to US (they pay for treatment). So many laws depending where you live. We have one of the best health care systems in the WORLD.

Contraception is wide in UK yet so lax and we should admitt that. The pandemic proved that so many (accidents)...

@GrandTheftWalrus

I had a termination early February. We suspected there was a chance I was pregnant after a drunken night and I said from the start I would terminate.

No regrets at all. And if someone had taken that choice from me I probably wouldn't be here right now.

Didn't you try the MAP. I can't understand it... this is common. But people seem to be irresponsible you can buy it all over.

Here, fixed this for you.

But the OP has already made it clear that she is pro choice and recognises that access to safe abortions is necessary.

It is possible to see both sides of a topic...

I agree. I know it’s possible because it how I feel. But what I wouldn’t do, as someone that is genuinely pro choice, is start a thread like this that is essentially trying to make women feel guilty about having an abortion. ‘Abortion is ok as long as you feel a certain level of guilt‘ isn’t pro choice.

I just don't understand the view that people use abortions as contraception, medical abortion at least can be very painful and it's not a walk in the park compared to the MAP. I don't know anybody who treats abortions as contraception.

You don’t get to be pro choice and tell people how they should feel about it or under what exact circumstances abortion is acceptable. It’s legal, it’s safe, it’s up to each woman to decide. Either you’re pro choice or you’re not.

I am appalled by the replies here. So black and white!

Pro choice = believing women have the right to have an abortion if they want

Pro life = women should never be allowed abortions

You can be pro choice and not compare an abortion to nothing more than mole removal! If I ever got pregnant again I would have an abortion. I couldn't cope with another child physically, emotionally or financially. But I would feel incredibly sad about it and it would be a big deal to me. I am so grateful to live in a country where this safe procedure is available to me but I am sickened to hear that I'm expected not to feel any emotions whatsoever towards this 'lump of cells', especially if it was a late abortion.

@WeSellAnyBra

You don’t get to be pro choice and tell people how they should feel about it or under what exact circumstances abortion is acceptable. It’s legal, it’s safe, it’s up to each woman to decide. Either you’re pro choice or you’re not.

You don't get to tell people that either just because you don't like their opinion. Perhaps there's a grain a truth.. touched a nerve?

I am so grateful to live in a country where this safe procedure is available to me but I am sickened to hear that I'm expected not to feel any emotions whatsoever towards this 'lump of cells', especially if it was a late abortion

Has anyone said this is expected?

An unwanted pregnancy, is a very different than a wanted one.

Also, late term abortions are not done on a whim. FFS.

WSAB: You don’t get to be pro choice and tell people how they should feel about it or under what exact circumstances abortion is acceptable. It’s legal, it’s safe, it’s up to each woman to decide. Either you’re pro choice or you’re not

DairyMilk: You don't get to tell people that either just because you don't like their opinion. Perhaps there's a grain a truth.. touched a nerve?

It's not a question of not liking the opinion but of taking issue with the OP's claims to be pro-choice.

@StrongCoffeAvalanche

I am appalled by the replies here. So black and white!

Pro choice = believing women have the right to have an abortion if they want

Pro life = women should never be allowed abortions

You can be pro choice and not compare an abortion to nothing more than mole removal! If I ever got pregnant again I would have an abortion. I couldn't cope with another child physically, emotionally or financially. But I would feel incredibly sad about it and it would be a big deal to me. I am so grateful to live in a country where this safe procedure is available to me but I am sickened to hear that I'm expected not to feel any emotions whatsoever towards this 'lump of cells', especially if it was a late abortion.

Appreciate your point but you haven't had an abortion. You don't know how you would feel some of us say bunch of cells to help us move on from it . Some might actually think a bunch of cells. It was a bunch of cells for me as I was so early out, it was the best decision for me but because of society I felt like I had to feel incredibly guilty when in actual fact if I would have carried on the pregnancy it would have made my existing DDs life much worse. I have zero regrets and it was a bunch of cells. I saw nothing on the toilet paper resembling a baby it looked like a period clot. I was 5 weeks 2 days

Of course plenty of people are anti abortion and as you feel. I don't think it's black and white - it's about the circumstances that justify it.

Personally I am pro choice which to me means if the woman does not want the baby, that is reason enough to abort. I worry more about babies being brought into families that clearly can't cope.

Intentionally or not, this has turned into a very GOADY thread.

And TROLLS just love to feast on GOADY threads!

please don’t feed the trolls

@echt OP stated abortion is necessary. This is a debate like any other.. you can agree with some parts of a topic and not ALL. That's what I got from OP.

She has not implied abortion should be banned or not allowed

What an unpleasant thing to say. You haven’t touched a nerve, but this thread might genuinely upset people who have had an abortion and don’t need to hear this sort of judgemental nonsense.

I’ve got no time for people who have ‘opinions’ on under what circumstances somebody else chooses to have a legal procedure.

Again, either you’re pro choice or you’re not.

[quote Dairymilk50]@echt OP stated abortion is necessary. This is a debate like any other.. you can agree with some parts of a topic and not ALL. That's what I got from OP.

She has not implied abortion should be banned or not allowed [/quote]
I never said she had.

OK. We'll if you only want people to agree with you I can see why you feel that way.

You don't know me from Adam so if I was against abortion I would of said that in the first place. The issue is you don't want anybody to disagree with ANY part of what you have said.

It's like adult children we can be unhappy with their choices... (anything) but still love them as a parent. People are allowed to view things from different angles.

@AHungryCaterpillar - I agree re posters urging women to have an abortion when they clearly don’t want to. You particularly see it when women will be single mums. I’m pro choice but urging women to have an abortion when they don’t want to because you don’t approve of their pregnancy is not about choice imo. A termination is a very personal matter which should be entirely up to the woman concerned and many women may find the choice of an abortion traumatizing and not the right one for them. Others might think it’s fine but either way it’s an important and personal decision and not to be treated lightly by others.

@veevee04 I am pleased for you (I'm not sure if that's the right choice of words but I can't think of better). I completely understand your feelings and point of view and fully support your choices and emotional response to it all. And this is great.

I just don't like being labelled 'not pro choice' because I would personally find it emotionally trying, despite still wanting to have an abortion.

I would never judge anyone for having an abortion, or not having an abortion. I wouldn't judge the emotions felt behind that decision.

I just hate that I'm being labelled 'not pro choice' because I personally see it as more that a mole removal. It doesn't mean I dont support the right to an abortion!

@Dairymilk50

OK. We'll if you only want people to agree with you I can see why you feel that way.

You don't know me from Adam so if I was against abortion I would of said that in the first place. The issue is you don't want anybody to disagree with ANY part of what you have said.

It's like adult children we can be unhappy with their choices... (anything) but still love them as a parent. People are allowed to view things from different angles.

It's immaterial whether you agree with me; I'm arguing the points made. That is all.

@echt yes you implied that.