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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you do this?

338 replies

Changename111 · 10/04/2022 10:17

Supposed to be having lunch with a few friends from work. One has just messaged me and said she has lost her bank card so if she transfers money can I withdraw it as cash.
I'm really not happy she's put me on this situation.

OP posts:
BensonStabler · 10/04/2022 11:59

strange time of year for Scrooge auditions! Confused

It’s nice to be nice jeez. I hope you reflect on how EXTREMELY you are in the minority here. With the additional judgment on their drinking. You are not coming across as a pleasant person at all. Your demoted friend work colleague has done absolutely nothing wrong. It stuns me you felt strongly enough to start a thread.

VyeBrator · 10/04/2022 12:00

@Changename111

Just thought it was an odd request from a grown woman to have lost her bank card (whilst out drinking last night)
You're definitely the odd one here OP Confused
roarfeckingroarr · 10/04/2022 12:01

Why would they ever be a problem?

wanttomarryamillionaire · 10/04/2022 12:01

Whats the problem? Its an easy solution to a minor problem.

Mellowyellow222 · 10/04/2022 12:04

@Changename111

Just thought it was an odd request from a grown woman to have lost her bank card (whilst out drinking last night)
Not odd at all. But given your reaction I assume you are quite uptight and I assume this. Is apparent in Tibet areas of your life so I am surprised she would ask you for a favour.

It’s a perfectly reasonable request. I did it for a colleague on a work trip when his bank card stopped working. I didn’t raise an eyebrow - and was happy to help.

It seems odd that you have a problem
With such a simple favour for someone you know m. She isn’t claiming to be a Nigerian Prince is she😂😂

crazyplanet · 10/04/2022 12:06

You seem very uptight and judgmental, it can't be fun to be you.

VyeBrator · 10/04/2022 12:06

It's all very well people saying what a mean horrible person the OP is, but we don't have the full backstory. The OP shouldn't be shamed and hounded off their own thread for not being 100% keen to say yes. As women we spend far too much time apologising and #being kind. We shouldn't have to do everything just because others expect us to.

Well if there is a backstory that doesn't happen to make the OP look like a dick, perhaps she should've treated us to it? 🤷‍♀️

Dancer47 · 10/04/2022 12:06

OP you are being ripped to pieces!

Honestly, a work colleague loses her card, can't ask her family or close friends for money or bank transfer? Has no access to cash, has no other debit card or credit cards to pay with or withdraw cash? Despite only having one card to access money, she keeps no money in the house for emergencies? She homes in on YOU to solve the problem and do a bank transfer?

I have never known anyone like that!
I wouldn't ask a work friend to do a bank transfer in a million years as it would feel cheeky, even if she was a friend.

chaosrabbitland · 10/04/2022 12:09

if shes your friend cant see what the bother is , shes giving you the money first beforehand , whats the big deal ,your not losing out and i dont understand why shes put you in a situation , its hardly like shes asking to live with you for a week or summit

EmbarrassingHadrosaurus · 10/04/2022 12:10

Such a lot of people on this thread doing soft work for scammers.

diddl · 10/04/2022 12:13

"It's all very well people saying what a mean horrible person the OP is, but we don't have the full backstory. The OP shouldn't be shamed and hounded off their own thread for not being 100% keen to say yes. As women we spend far too much time apologising and #being kind. We shouldn't have to do everything just because others expect us to."

I agree

I can't imagine just handing out bank details.

comealongponds · 10/04/2022 12:13

YABU

She’s not just a work colleague, you said she’s a friend and you’re meeting her for lunch. She’s asking a very small favour. You don’t sound like a good friend or a very nice person.

NuffSaidSam · 10/04/2022 12:14

@Dancer47

OP you are being ripped to pieces!

Honestly, a work colleague loses her card, can't ask her family or close friends for money or bank transfer? Has no access to cash, has no other debit card or credit cards to pay with or withdraw cash? Despite only having one card to access money, she keeps no money in the house for emergencies? She homes in on YOU to solve the problem and do a bank transfer?

I have never known anyone like that!
I wouldn't ask a work friend to do a bank transfer in a million years as it would feel cheeky, even if she was a friend.

She probably does have other friends and family, but they're not going to the lunch today. She maybe has cash, biyt perhaps not enough to pay for a lunch.

Makes sense to ask someone you'll be seeing in a couple of hours anyway, no?

It's a shame you've never known anyone who could ask you for an easy favour! Maybe reflect on that?

Keeponmoving2213 · 10/04/2022 12:15

Where does items with flipping “back stories”

FGS let’s not patronise OPs.

If something was relevant then she should have posted
If not, we shouldn’t feel like we need to mull over a “back story” when we are talking about reimbursing a friend for bloody lunch

Alonelonelylonersbadidea · 10/04/2022 12:15

Wow you remind me of that po-faced woman on the American version of the office. Awful. You have clearly managed to keep your true self secret from your work friends otherwise she would never dream of asking you a favour that'll take you about 17 seconds.
Awful. No wonder you've namechanged.

AnnaSW1 · 10/04/2022 12:17

Are grown women not allowed to lose things?

JudgeJ · 10/04/2022 12:19

@Changename111

I just think you'd sort this out yourself and not bother work colleagues
How can it be sorted out before lunch? I expected you to say that she had said You pay and I'll repay you later, which could cause problems, but she's doing the best thing, I can't see your problem.
FixTheBone · 10/04/2022 12:20

Bit of a weird one.

I would of thought literally everyone with a bank account and a smartphone could just use their phone to pay?

If it was someone I knew fairly well, I wouldn't have a problem with obliging that request though.

SmallPrawnEnergy · 10/04/2022 12:20

Why are you even going for lunch with her? You sound like you don’t even like her and are irritated at the fact she even dare asked her work colleague/friend she is going to lunch with if she could do her a minor non-favour. You even sound judgemental about the fact she lost her card.

If this is the contempt for your “friends” or “work colleagues” then fucking hell I’d hate to be your enemy

TheChurchOfEli · 10/04/2022 12:20

I would of thought literally everyone with a bank account and a smartphone could just use their phone to pay?
You’d have thought wrong then. Loads of people don’t like to use phone apps to pay.

Lime37 · 10/04/2022 12:21

I’ve done it more then once I didn’t think it was an issue… I have also had people do it to me. If it’s so much of an issue for you don’t do it I am sure one of the other more reasonable Co-workers would. And god forbid a grown women go out drinking on a Saturday night.

Gonnagetgoing · 10/04/2022 12:22

Not an issue for me! If she’s lost it it’s stolen her bank card then how can she magic up money?! She could use a credit card but incurs charges.

She’s being resourceful finding a workable solution involving you. Unless you don’t trust/believe her…

gettingolderandgrumpy · 10/04/2022 12:22

You’ve never lost your bank card op ? What do you think she should do cancel ? Obviously she thought asking a friend who was going out with was ok but if it’s just a work colleague!

Gonnagetgoing · 10/04/2022 12:23

Done this for people in past too. No skin off my nose.

PaddleBoardingMomma · 10/04/2022 12:23

Op... you sound insufferable. I'd happily Chuck my bank card down a drain if it meant I could dodge going to lunch with you