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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you do this?

338 replies

Changename111 · 10/04/2022 10:17

Supposed to be having lunch with a few friends from work. One has just messaged me and said she has lost her bank card so if she transfers money can I withdraw it as cash.
I'm really not happy she's put me on this situation.

OP posts:
Sugarplumfairy65 · 10/04/2022 11:20

Why are you going out for lunch with someone you don't like? You are not a friend to her at all.

DariaMorgendorffer · 10/04/2022 11:23

YABU

Antarcticant · 10/04/2022 11:24

[quote Keeponmoving2213]@Fadeout83

Don’t forget that the scammer knows about the lunch plans AND manages to even know the friend with whom the OP is going out for lunch with and manages to message from her number![/quote]
Easy enough to find that kind of thing out on social media, and easy enough to spoof a phone number. It's happening to people all the time (it's something I deal with in a professional capacity - I know what I am talking about here).

The golden rule is - always speak to the person to check the request is genuine.

This 'it could never happen to me' mentality is why scammers are having a field day at the moment.

latriciamcneal · 10/04/2022 11:24

@Changename111

Just thought it was an odd request from a grown woman to have lost her bank card (whilst out drinking last night)
Do you not lose things?
PinkiOcelot · 10/04/2022 11:25

Is this for real?! YABVU and ridiculous OP. Give your head a wobble FFS!

ListeningButNotHearing · 10/04/2022 11:25

There are LOADS of scams like this at the moment.

IF it's genuine, make absolutely sure the money is in your account first.

Personally I would call her first.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 10/04/2022 11:26

Is she a Nigerian Princess who is just waiting for 30 million pounds (that she secretly found unclaimed from a dead relative) to be released once sanctions have been lifted on her Russian bank account?

If so I would be a little careful...

Rogue1001MNer · 10/04/2022 11:29

@ListeningButNotHearing but scammers don't generally tend to be scamming people they are friends with 🙄

Antarcticant · 10/04/2022 11:30

[quote Rogue1001MNer]@ListeningButNotHearing but scammers don't generally tend to be scamming people they are friends with 🙄[/quote]
Scammers impersonate friends and family.

NuffSaidSam · 10/04/2022 11:30

@Changename111

Just thought it was an odd request from a grown woman to have lost her bank card (whilst out drinking last night)
It's like you've just arrived on earth.

You think it's odd that an adult has lost something?! You previously thought that once you got to 18 you'd never lose anything ever again?

Confused
BigMamaFratelli · 10/04/2022 11:30

Well, she obviously thought you were friendsHmm Boy was she wrong.
I'd check it wasn't a scam first, but yes, I'd do that for a friend. Or a colleague. I really can't see the big deal.

Fadeout83 · 10/04/2022 11:32

*Antarcticant

Keeponmoving2213
@Fadeout83

Don’t forget that the scammer knows about the lunch plans AND manages to even know the friend with whom the OP is going out for lunch with and manages to message from her number!
Easy enough to find that kind of thing out on social media, and easy enough to spoof a phone number. It's happening to people all the time (it's something I deal with in a professional capacity - I know what I am talking about here).

The golden rule is - always speak to the person to check the request is genuine.

This 'it could never happen to me' mentality is why scammers are having a field day at the moment.*

Oh sure call her first if you must.

You are missing the point which is OPs visceral disdain over a friend asking to not even borrow money but to withdraw money she deposits into an account for her since she has no way to access said money quickly.

Shitty human.

lightisnotwhite · 10/04/2022 11:32

Just tell her no problem and you’ll pay her share of lunch? She can pay you back when she gets her new card..

I take it you can’t be bothered to take out the cash/ give her your bank details which is fair enough.

Sswhinesthebest · 10/04/2022 11:34

This is so not a biggie at all.

What are your friendships like if this isn’t a normal request?

bluebaul · 10/04/2022 11:34

@Antarcticant

There are scams involving transfer of money but I can't see how this could be one.

Very easily. If it's a scammer - 'Sorry, I transferred over £3000 instead of £300, could you send £2700 back to me?'

OP sends £2700 back.

The £3000 transferred by mistake is stolen; this gets reclaimed from the OP's bank account leaving her out of pocket. Scammer walks away into the sunset with the cash.

This is a scam. Asking your mate to give you £50 out the cash machine that you have transferred to her is not. It's fucking long leap from OP situation to this Confused

MrsR87 · 10/04/2022 11:34

Would you prefer it if she just didn’t come or would you then feel let down?

I’ve had this happen to a friend before and she said she couldn’t come. I suggested that I just pay for both and she could transfer or pay me back whenever.
I appreciate that if you’re not that close that might not be ideal for you but if she transfers you the money and then you give her the cash I don’t see the issue.
People lose stuff. It happens.

killwithkindness · 10/04/2022 11:35

I don't find this an odd request at all. I find this a reasonable request to make sure she can still attend!

I'd do it without a second thought tbh x

Booboobibles · 10/04/2022 11:35

@Keeponmoving2213

I wonder whether this OPs read the responses and think

“Shit, I really am not a particularly pleasant person”

Or whether they just shrug and think “they’re wrong, i am actually lovely”

I think you’ve just found the reason for most of the world’s problems🙂
Dancer47 · 10/04/2022 11:36

@Changename111

I just think you'd sort this out yourself and not bother work colleagues
I agree - it's not appropriate.
Womencanlift · 10/04/2022 11:38

She must think you are a friend and would be happy to help you out.

If you view the relationship as just a “work colleague” then I’m surprised you are using some of your weekend to meet up. Best just stick to office hours if you don’t want a friendship with this person

Oysterbabe · 10/04/2022 11:38

There's some really miserable baggages about these days.

Womencanlift · 10/04/2022 11:39

*help her out

mumda · 10/04/2022 11:39

Do grown up humans lose cards and keys and wallets?

If you have no cash on the house then consider someone else might have little cash in the bank and would really need the transfer to clear (is it instant? I don't transfer money to friends accounts so I have no idea) before being able to withdraw cash.

Namechangeplease · 10/04/2022 11:40

Can you have a quiet word with your colleague at lunch about this? Perhaps check with her if she can pay via another card? And if she doesn’t have any other cards she can pay with, could you ask her to transfer you her share of the lunch bill and then you just pay for her and you?

PortalooSunset · 10/04/2022 11:41

I mean if you don't want to do it you can just say no? Not sure why you would though.