To bring 3 month old baby to Trustee dinner?

[Twopandemicpregnancies]

Have had 2 babies since pandemic and have hardly taken them anywhere so not sure what is normal / socially acceptable?

I am a Trustee for a charity and have been invited to a nice dinner in the evening at a restaurant private dining room in London when baby will be 3 months old. Haven’t seen the other Trustees for over 2 years due to pandemic so it would be good to catch up in person, but am exclusively breastfeeding and don’t often pump or have much of a milk stash in freezer, have never tried to give baby a bottle (all seems like quite a hassle compared to just feeding baby direct from breast). It is also about 1.5 hours door to door for me on public transport each way so overall I can’t leave the baby with DP for what will be around 5-6 hours in total (DP will be at home looking after toddler).

Would it be ridiculous to suggest that I bring the baby with me to the dinner? I obviously won’t totally enjoy the dinner (and will be a bit of a hassle on public transport as it is a 20 minute walk from the nearest step free access station to the restaurant) as I will be attending to the baby, feeding etc as well as talking to everyone and eating. I am torn between not letting people down by just not going (it is a farewell for the outgoing Chair and a couple of other trustees), or going with baby and potentially being a pain for the adults who might not want a baby there! (Most of them have children but most of the kids are older than mine and/or grown up).

The baby is pretty chill as babies go but also tends to cluster feed in the evenings so is unlikely just to sleep through the evening in her pram.

So I probably just need someone to tell me it’s a stupid idea but am genuinely torn, as a feminist in 2022, whether I should carry on my life where feasible with baby in tow, or just stay at home this year and resume things like evening dinners in 2023 when baby is no longer breastfeeding?

@lottapianos
We’ve had members of parliament on the bench with breastfeeding babies'

I watch BBC Parliament from time to time and it is increasingly difficult to decide who are the MPs and who are the babies these days...

Where has OP said it's an adult only event ?

It's a board of trustees event at a private dining location in London. Do you really think kids are invited?

@saraclara

Where has OP said it's an adult only event ?

It's a board of trustees event at a private dining location in London. Do you really think kids are invited?

Yes for a mother and baby charity ....

Also it's a 3 month old baby not "kids"

@MySecretHistory yes we'd have a Trustee dinner!

We would sort out a date, time and venue with everyone contributing to that decision in advance, sort out who is going to pay (normally a Trustee pays to avoid it being a charity cost) and then we'd get together for a good time.

Baby being there would have been agreed in advance.

We've not had the chance to do this for 2 years and I know my Trustees are keen to get together for a more social reason. We'll probably have a worky reason to be together pre-dinner, then finish then socialise.

We used to do it annually always as Christmas celebration and it used to be lunch to accommodate far-flung Trustees.

One of my old workplaces put a changing table and nappy bin in one of the WCs to ensure parents (normally women while babies are younger) and babies can come to our events.

This was not a women's focused charity but keen to encourage more women into the Trustee role and it was thought this would signal our wish to be more supportive.

It’s not something I would do but only because I couldn’t bear the stress of trying to be a trustee in a grown up situation while juggling and attending to a 3 month old. Sounds way too hard work and intense. All those things can wait until the baby is just a bit older (and I say them as someone with similar roles). But I know others who have done that, gone so far as to have dh nearby with the baby and popped out. But realistically if you’re going to be cluster feeding that’s not really compatible with an adult dinner is it? I have no issues breastfeeding anywhere if you feel comfortable but I know I’d rather be home in my pjs on the sofa!